Chapter 5

Kong Kong originally thought that moments like this in life would surely bring a feeling distinctly different from the usual, as if suddenly finding oneself in the wilderness or on an ice field, or like being scorched by flames causing a shiver throughout the body. However, nothing particularly special happened; her breathing and heartbeat remained normal. In that instant, the noise from the television was still vivid, and ice water flowed down the sides of the cup, wetting her palm. All the romance had already ended when she truly began to anticipate something.

At first, she also had doubts about whether this man was patiently testing some possibility, but after a while, she completely dismissed this thought. Shen Feng treated her with such propriety that it was as if there were no distinction between genders at all

Kong Kong keenly captured the fleeting surprise in He Su's eyes, but in Chen Kewei's view, He Su's reaction was nothing out of the ordinary

He regarded it merely as a matter of social courtesy, attending a few performances, but he was not particularly interested in the shows themselves. Each time tickets were sent over, he distributed them to the young employees in the company—using his own words, those "kids".

Chen Kewei, the words you originally wanted to say to me, can you still say them now?" Kong Kong said softly, "If you do not express it clearly, I cannot be certain... I cannot misinterpret my feelings any longer

A slight sense of defeat caused Kongkong to lose her interest in staying up late. Just as she was about to turn off the night light and climb into bed, a gentle knock was heard at the door

"You are a bit smaller than I thought," Shen Feng said self-deprecatingly, "I originally thought you were my younger sister, but I didn't expect you to be my niece"

Chen Kewai returned to his seat and noticed something was amiss: "What happened?"

Chen Kewai got up and went to the kitchen, took out two bottles of sparkling water from the refrigerator, gave one bottle to Kongkong, and then returned to sit down

Her smile was almost eager, yet carried a hint of sincerity, and her tone was also quite pleasant: "I had anticipated this long ago; living under the same roof, it is hard not to have something happen. I am happy for you both." After a while, she shifted to a tone of regret, saying, "I can't keep hanging out with you two anymore; I need to be more considerate and play the role of a less frequent third wheel."

Shen Feng noticed her hesitation, and he picked up the car keys: "It is difficult to get a taxi on a day like this, so let me do a good deed and give you a ride home."

If it were not for his insomnia, he might not have thought to search for the name of that female singer for ten or eight years, nor would he have had the chance to see a young girl’s despondent complaint in the vast ocean of social networks

What are you worried about

She felt terrible, her self-esteem was wounded. It was not because of Shen Feng's arrogant judgment, but precisely because she knew that his judgment was correct

For a moment, Kong Kong hoped that she would not believe what he said, even if it were true

That night, he drank too much coffee and by midnight, he still felt no sleepiness. Not wanting to disturb his wife's rest, he lay alone in the living room looking at his phone. The online world in the early hours was dull and tedious. He recalled that earlier in the year, a friend who held a senior position at a performance company had asked him: "There are some good performance plans mid-year, are you interested in investing in some advertising sponsorship?"

The other party replied later that day: "No charge, I'll give it to you."

Her speculation suddenly became more concrete. It seems that Shen Feng's life is a phased goal for Yan Yiming—having a decent career and good financial status. In her leisure time, he enjoys drinking imported whiskey, listening to vinyl records, and loves to surf or dive abroad. In short, his preferences and tastes must not be vulgar; the most important thing is to be able to control his time to a certain extent

After a pause, Chen Kewai said: "I am not gossiping... Is that person pursuing you?"

"I can't believe I missed it... I'm such an idiot." She concluded with this and hit send

Chen Ke's expression became serious: "I am only worried because of the madam"

She remembers when she worked at the weekly publication in Qingcheng, those male colleagues and male leaders around forty years old either had noticeable bellies or significant hair loss. In her current company, most of her colleagues are women, and she has not interacted with "middle-aged men" for a long time

They were at a standstill for a long time, during which they even started playing on their phones, as if the previous conversation had never happened. Ultimately, Chen Kewai decided to bear the consequences himself—after all, he thought, it was I who initiated the matter

He first fried three eggs and placed them in a white porcelain dish. Then he found two small green vegetables from the refrigerator, washed them clean, and blanched them in boiling water for two minutes before setting them aside. He started boiling water, strictly controlling the water level at the corresponding scale. A few minutes later, he threw in the noodles, keeping an eye on the time on his phone, and turned off the heat when the time was up

Feeling grateful, Kong Kong threw her phone aside and rushed to the bedroom to get her loungewear. Just before entering the bathroom, she suddenly remembered: "Phlegm, I want two fried eggs"

That was an inner venue ticket, the seats were neither bad nor particularly good, but for Kong Kong, everything exceeded her expectations and imagination. She shed tears when the prelude of a certain song began, and during the grand chorus, she lost herself in singing along. She gazed at the person on stage, immersed in a kind of emotion that was difficult to articulate, as if the tides were rising and falling within her heart

"How could that be? Come on, tell me, is it because you are reclusive, not fitting in, or acting strangely?" Kong Kong recalled the origin of that action, while simultaneously feeling a contraction in his heart

After the first celestial battle, Kong Kong realized that he had missed that critical moment. When they wake up tomorrow, they will no longer mention the foolish topic discussed at the dinner table tonight. ... Perhaps he has made plans with friends, or perhaps she will go out to meet Bao Yin and do some shopping ...

Even under the warm yellow light, Chen Kewai's pale complexion was clearly visible, as if he had been struck by something. At that moment, Kong Kong immediately realized that he had been too reckless

You will not continue to waste time like this forever; it is only when one is young that they mistakenly believe that any feelings can last a lifetime. How old are you now, twenty-six? Oh, almost twenty-seven, which means you are not far from thirty.

I know, I think so too, really. She moved closer, took Chen Kewei's hand, and gently rubbed the skin on the back of his hand—this action felt very familiar to her, yet she couldn't recall why at that moment

"You finally asked," Kong Kong thought. That time when Shen Feng sent her back, she actually saw Chen Ke as well, but after arriving home, neither of them mentioned the matter. She thought he didn't care at all.

"Alright, I'll be serious," she said as she set down her wine glass, her other hand covering his. "I have quite a few shortcomings and flaws; some you may have already noticed, while others you might never discover. However, I think it doesn't matter, just like you said, we have known each other for a long time..."

Long after, when they reached a point where the relationship of even good friends was destroyed as a cost, Kong Kong still remembered the feelings he had when he heard him say this.

The ticket arrived in her empty hands through the local express delivery, and just a second before the ticket check at the venue, she was still doubting the authenticity of the ticket. It was only after she followed the staff's instructions and found her corresponding seat on the ticket that she began to feel a sense of reality amidst her disbelief

I saw your friend bringing you back one day, " Chen Kewai said without any premeditation, " a very nice car

She was in the study, leaving only a small night light on. She had originally planned to work overtime that night, but after realizing she had been staring blankly at the computer for half an hour, she completely gave up

"How did you manage to get the tickets?" Chen Kewei asked curiously as he drove to pick her up. "I asked my colleagues about it, and they said the prices have been driven up too much, making it impossible to get them.

"You know, right?" Chen Kewai said

The mysterious and fierce sea that once existed in her imagination, from this moment on, revealed a calm and gentle side. The waves softly washed over her body, receding, only to gently rush back again.

They rarely eat at the dining table, as they find it too formal. It is only when He Su comes over, and there are more dishes prepared, that the dining table can serve some purpose

No, I think you resemble that kind of child in cartoons, running barefoot all the time

"Not at all, I didn't have any ulterior motives," Shen Feng said, "Let's have a meal together when we have time, and we can become friends over food."

Kong Kong nodded slightly. She originally wanted to say, "Don't talk to the other people we know just yet," but she knew that this request was not only somewhat hypocritical but also entirely impossible to fulfill, as He Su was not the type of person who was good at keeping secrets for others.

On a rainy day, she naturally shared a bit about her relationship with Yan Yiming with Shen Feng. Throughout the process, her wording was very cautious, striving to describe their relationship as objectively as possible. She spoke in a very superficial manner, without resentment or accusations, and only at the end did she ask a question that should not have been answered by Shen Feng

It was a gift from someone else. Kong Kong also felt that this sounded unconvincing. She thought that she must properly thank that stranger, at the very least by treating them to a meal or something similar

After finishing work in the afternoon, she emerged from the subway, walking along the road. She looked up and saw the evening glow painting the entire sky red. A gust of wind blew by, and inexplicably, she recalled that private message.

On a night when Shen Feng was occasionally suffering from insomnia, he happened to see Li Kongkong, who occasionally posted on Weibo. He sent her a private message: "I have tickets, do you want them?"

I cannot recall whether this is the fourth or fifth time I have dined with Shen Feng, and each time he chooses the location, usually near the embassy district, where we enjoy Japanese cuisine, Spanish dishes, or Italian fare

She closed the notebook, somewhat annoyed, yet unsure who it was directed at, most likely knowing it was aimed at herself. "Why do I have to come across as so sharp? I clearly understand his meaning, don't I?"

Shen Feng listened in silence for a long time, his expression calm. He said, "I do not know that person, and I cannot speak carelessly about him. However, if you are asking whether he truly loves you, I tend to believe that he does..." Kong Kong suddenly paused, but the next words made her heart grow cold by more than half, "However, everyone has their own hierarchy of values, and it seems that in his hierarchy, you are ranked relatively low."

She attempted to alleviate the seriousness of the moment with a joke: "If I say I am unwilling, would it be inconvenient for me to continue living here?"

In the years prior, she was always unable to control her curiosity about what Yan Yiming truly wanted, what was important to him, and what his ultimate goal was. Now, as she looks at Shen Feng, she feels that she has almost arrived at the correct answer.

"What? I don't know." She seemed to be doing it on purpose, as if she were sulking with someone. A hint of disappointment crept onto Chen Kewei's face, as he considered this equivalent to a rejection. The atmosphere became extremely awkward, with the two of them seemingly frozen at the dining table; out of a strange sense of pride, neither was willing to get up first

I will go wash the dishes," he stood up, "You should rest early." Kong Kong nodded expressionlessly.

They wasted another ten minutes on the segment of "What to eat." They had already tried all the restaurants around, including Sichuan cuisine, Hunan cuisine, Northwest noodles, hot and sour noodles, fried chicken, ginseng chicken soup, salad, pizza, and pasta... Reciting these names mechanically, she finally lifted her head and exchanged a desperate glance with Chen Kewei

Why didn't Chen Ke notice either: "Is it still the same as before to say these things? Come over for a gathering when you have time"

After the concert ended, Kong Kong followed the crowd for a long distance, unable to hail a taxi. In the end, he had no choice but to seek help from Chen Kewei

She sat down and finished the tea in her cup in one go, unable to help but complain: "Elder brother, next time when you arrange a meal, please consider the traffic conditions. You wealthy people drive without a care, but I had to walk the mountain road and then switch to the waterway to get here"

Do you know why I often seek you out? Once, he took the initiative to say, "Because you are someone outside of my social circle, we have no vested interests, nor will we develop emotional entanglements, I feel particularly relaxed being with you"

Shen Feng ignored her complaints and lightly tapped the table with his fingers: "I have finished ordering the dishes. They don't have a menu here; the chef prepares whatever ingredients are available today. Do you think that works?"

It was unclear whether it was Chen Kewei's heartfelt confession that was too moving, or if the lingering effects of the fragrant pomelo wine had gone to her head, but she suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to reveal that secret. She wanted to recount the story of her relationship with Yan Yiming from beginning to end. She had once obsessively believed it was a fated encounter, filled with the oppressive and anxious imbalance of love, a separation that ended without resolution, and a cycle of recurring dilemmas. However, in the end, she managed to suppress her desire to confide in someone.

The atmosphere suddenly turned chillingly cold, and after a few seconds of heavy silence, she attempted to contemplate whether He Su was merely gossiping or had ulterior motives. She quickly reached the conclusion—regardless of which it was, He Su had overstepped the boundaries.

It seems as if I have suddenly returned to the age of seventeen or eighteen, clearly understanding each other yet still feeling a bit shy. They all appear somewhat nervous; although there is momentary silence, it is evident that everyone senses a crucial moment has arrived

Six months ago, a singer whom Kong Kong had liked since childhood and continued to admire for many years was scheduled to hold a concert in Beijing. The tickets sold out within two hours of being released. Coincidentally, during that period, Kong Kong's work began to become tedious and burdensome. She had to spend a lot of time each day reading a large number of novels, conducting preliminary screening, classification, and rating, in an attempt to identify those with developmental value. Then, in meetings where everyone engaged in meaningless chatter, she struggled to conceal her disappointment and frustration.

One cannot speak; any story, once it has an audience, will become completely unrecognizable. Kong Kong understands this principle.

That moment miraculously returned again

The child running barefoot, she thought this was the beginning, but the subsequent words were filled with simplicity, just like Chen Kewei's own character; he was practical, meticulous, and clear, an absolutely safe companion to be with—yet she forgot that she often found herself drawn only to danger

They have all become much more relaxed than a few hours ago, even going so far as to turn on the television, although no one is watching it seriously. Kong Kong sips on the chilled grapefruit wine, while Chen Kewei opens another bottle of sparkling water

"No, I have no intention of belittling women," Shen Feng shrugged. "This has nothing to do with gender; us men also experience a slowdown in metabolism after turning thirty. The first time I realized I was getting old was in my early thirties when I stayed up late to watch the European Cup, and the next day my brain couldn't function normally. What I mean is, at a certain point in time, a person's physical functions will undergo noticeable changes, and the same goes for mindset and emotions"

He is quite old... She originally wanted to say "quite old," but suddenly realized that this expression might be hurtful, so she changed her words, "... not small anymore, he has a wife, how could he possibly pursue me?"

The restaurant mentioned by Shen Feng is not easy to find. Kong Kong slipped out of the office before the evening rush hour arrived, transferred twice on the subway, followed the directions of the electronic map all the way, and walked for nearly twenty minutes before finally locating the private dining restaurant in a creative park.

She composed herself for a few seconds, swallowed, and replied: "No."

Their friendship began inexplicably, yet it continued steadily, grounded in the essence of everyday life. Every few days, Shen Feng would invite Kong Kong out for a meal, and sometimes, on a whim, he would ask her to take a two-hour break from work to come out for a cup of coffee

What does it ultimately mean to him

When Kong Kong sat down at the dining table, the bowl of noodles was just served.

She hopes her voice sounds calm and gentle: "I think, we can give it a try."

She mentioned the term "cassette," which is somewhat outdated. Shen Feng thought that she must not be very young; true young people have been born into a world of smartphones and tablets. However, he immediately recalled the even more vintage term "CD," which is a memory of his youth

Kong Kong was somewhat angry: "What’s wrong with being thirty? Will it lead to death?"

This has nothing to do with you, right?" She still smiled, but her tone was filled with a sense of detachment

Are you disappointed?

A person who cannot sleep can engage in the most mundane activities

Shen Feng possesses a carefree demeanor that suggests he has weathered many storms, with a sharpness and adaptability in his eyes that reflect years of experience in the business world. His physique is robust, clearly the result of years of fitness training. Kong Kong was somewhat surprised upon learning his age, as he certainly does not appear to be eleven years her senior.

How should I explain it to Chen Kewei? So many appropriate words surged into her mind in an instant, like the saying "once bitten by a snake, one is afraid of ropes for ten years". However, once she began to explain, it would inevitably lead to Yan Yiming—this was the secret pain in her heart, and she could not speak of it to Chen Kewei as freely as she did to Shen Feng.

He Su gazed at Kong Kong. After a while, she shrugged her shoulders, neither apologizing to Kong Kong for her rudeness nor showing any intention to delve deeper into the matter

Great!

When she thinks of Baoyin, she recalls the words she once said—I want to be the kind of person she is, someone who is confident in everything and never messes anything up—if it were Baoyin tonight, she would definitely handle it a hundred times better than herself

There are several packs of Japanese ramen in the kitchen cabinet, and Chen Kewei checked the production date to confirm that they are still within the shelf life. This foolproof fast food was what he used to rely on in emergencies.

When Chen Kewai asked, "Is that person pursuing you?" Kong Kong almost laughed out loud

Shen Feng smiled and was too lazy to discuss it with her

"Biwei, is it alright if I call you that?" His expression seemed a bit overly solemn, and his empty nodding was always a form of encouragement for him. "OK, Biwei, what I want to say is, we have known each other for quite a long time, and we have been living together for more than half a year. We know each other relatively well. I want to ask, if our relationship were to change further, would you be willing?"

Kong Kong noticed that there was a look of panic in the corners of his eyes and brows, so she decided not to say anything and to give him the initiative.

On a deep night, she anxiously searched through all social media platforms but found no seemingly reliable ticket transfer information. In extreme frustration, she posted a self-reflective Weibo, reminiscing about the cassette tapes and CDs she bought in her childhood, the nostalgic sense of holding something tangible in her hands. Over time, physical albums gradually declined, and although she did not favor digital albums, she continued to support them. Later on, the singer sang less and turned to acting, and she, having lived in Qingcheng, never imagined she would have the opportunity to attend her concert. This time, it was the singer's fifteenth anniversary tour, with Beijing being the first stop.

The ramen has been finished, the fried egg has also been consumed, and she has set down her chopsticks

Kong Kong is eating her second fried egg, she is very hungry, devouring it ravenously, her cheeks puffed up with too much food: "Hmm, it seems quite wealthy, but I'm not sure, I haven't asked."

She had very few followers on Weibo. After posting that message, she resolved to forget about the matter. Two days later, during lunch, she inadvertently opened Weibo and discovered that there was a private message from that night that she had not checked. The sender's profile picture was a photo of the sea, with no verification and no bio. The content of the private message was very simple: "I have tickets, do you want them?"

Are you saying to become a romantic relationship, like a boyfriend and girlfriend?

I do not want to make you uncomfortable. To take a step back, we are also good friends, and I do not want to ruin this relationship. Chen Kewai said, appearing very sincere.

Returning again, there is only a brief expression of "OK"

It was a Friday evening, and although they had not worked overtime, they returned home one after another, and it was already nearly 8 o'clock. Kong Kong suggested, "Let's order takeout, what do you want to eat?"

Then, He Su asked a question that no one could have possibly anticipated. "Have you slept together?"

Chen Kewai discerned a hint of clarity, yet he also understood that this was not the right moment to delve into the details, as he was evidently confronted with more significant and challenging matters. He cleared his throat twice, preparing to make his entrance, it was almost time; if he did not speak this time, there would be no need to speak again in the future

The person who gave the complimentary ticket to Kong Kong is Shen Feng

"It's nothing." They answered him in unison

Kong Kong believes this statement, as she almost thinks the same way in her heart

Kong Kong, are you asleep

Kong Kongxinxiang: It is indeed a redundant question; can I still feel that it is not possible? She nodded: "Alright, boss"

Perhaps it was because the words he encountered by chance evoked a certain sentiment within him, or perhaps he was inherently someone who was willing to engage in trivial matters, but the most genuine reason was actually insomnia

Her mind was filled with a jumble of chaotic thoughts, and when she finally managed to steal a moment of respite through the cracks, she suddenly remembered the concert, only to find that even the tickets for the summit had already been inflated to three or four times their original price

The rain outside has not yet stopped. In Beijing, where it rarely rains throughout the four seasons, such weather is truly rare. After a flash of lightning split the sky, Kong Kong thought of the yellow umbrella at her home in Qingcheng. In her humid and rainy hometown, she often kept it in her bag, and at this moment, she misses it very much

On Sunday afternoon, they arranged to meet He Su at a café. During the mid-point of the afternoon tea event, Chen Kewei announced this news to He Su

Kong Kong said nothing; she put on the mask that she only used at the company and maintained a very proper smile. When Chen Kewei went to the restroom, He Su finally asked, "Am I the first to know?"

"Shall we have dinner together tonight?" There are still more than two hours until the end of work, and a new message notification appeared next to Chen Kewei's profile picture. Kong Kong replied, "I have plans tonight, so you'll have to manage on your own."

Chen Kewai's eyelashes fluttered, her eyes glistening: "Let me say something off-topic. From a long time ago, you left an impression on me, and that impression has not changed to this day. I have always felt too shy to say it, perhaps you would find it very childish, very amusing..."

She always felt that she owed Shen Feng a meal, and it had been a long time, but Shen Feng clearly did not take it seriously. She surveyed the decor style and dining environment of this place, knowing that it was highly likely that Shen Feng would pay again tonight

I will cook ramen for you, so you should go take a shower first. Chen Kewei made the decision

She felt that it must be a scammer or a ticket scalper, someone who had found her through keywords, and she decided to ignore it

He is a bit tanned, dressed casually and comfortably, yet wearing an expensive watch. After chatting with him for a while, Kong Kong suddenly thought of Yan Yiming—no, not at all similar, but there was a certain vague connection—she realized the reason only after a moment's delay.

I said, "Boss, can we find a restaurant with a better cost-performance ratio next time? You always choose places that exceed my budget. When will I ever be able to repay the favors I owe you?" Kong Kong sighed.

"Do not say that, I am being excessive," she said, her vacant eyes fixed on the television, while her gaze was actually directed towards a place far beyond the television. "You are not wrong; I do understand your meaning."

She leaned back slightly, resting against the chair's back, trying to create a bit of distance between herself and He Sula.

By the time Kong Kong truly met Shen Feng, a considerable amount of time had passed since that concert. He mentioned that he had just returned from vacation, and the name of the place sounded like a certain island in Southeast Asia

"Let us have a serious conversation," he said, "I was too presumptuous last night, please do not take it to heart."

How much does it cost? she asked tentatively