Chapter 6, I miss him very much

It was her positive attitude that attracted Wei Xian, and he began to pursue her. She gave up everything in France to return to her home country with him. They were preparing to get married

She called Wei Xian and asked him if he had a crush during his middle school years. Wei Xian stammered and refused to say. No man would disclose such matters to his fiancée, as it would become a catalyst for every argument after their marriage. Xin Yitian sensed that she was putting him in a difficult position and smiled, saying: "Aren't you going to ask me if I have one?"

At that time, he was still young and had not truly met her yet

"Ah? Have you two really run away from home?" Xin Yitian could not imagine such a thing. She had always been a well-behaved girl since childhood, and even during her most rebellious teenage years, she merely kept to herself and did not speak or interact with others. Her mother had once scolded her, calling her a "gourd without a mouth"

On the way to the Shen family over the weekend, she bought some cooked food to spare her mother from having to cook so many dishes alone in the sweltering heat. She is sensitive to heat and left early in the morning. The large Shen residence was very quiet. Mother Xin was sitting under the grape trellis in the courtyard, picking chives, with a baby stroller beside her. Seven-month-old Qiqi sat obediently there, holding a rattle and shaking it from time to time. Mother Xin picked up the bag in her daughter's hand, glanced at it, and reproached her, saying, "Why did you buy so many vegetables? The ones outside are both expensive and of poor quality." Seven-month-old Qiqi sat obediently there, holding a rattle and shaking it from time to time. Mother Xin picked up the bag in her daughter's hand, glanced at it, and reproached her, saying, "Why did you buy so many vegetables? The ones outside are both expensive and of poor quality."

She withdrew two thousand yuan in cash from the UnionPay ATM downstairs in the hotel and handed it to Shen Jun, saying: "My mother is in poor health, suffering from lumbar disc herniation and rheumatism, which flares up on rainy days. Could you please take care of her a bit more during your usual interactions?"

However, Xie De's feelings were much more complicated than hers. He quietly looked at her and asked in return, "Is that so?"

When he spoke to her, it was usually to deliver the exam papers. "Xinyi Tian," he called her name, and then walked over to place the papers on her desk. She always kept her head down and never said thank you. Later, in high school, they sat at the same desk, and unless absolutely necessary, she rarely took the initiative to speak.

No one will ever again endure beatings and insults for me, shielding me from the wind and rain like he did. " He turned to look her in the eyes and asked calmly, "Do you still love him?"

Xin Yitian was reflecting on the first third of her life in such a complete manner for the first time. Some significant turning points in life, such as the college entrance examination, the university graduation ceremony, and obtaining a study abroad visa, she could no longer recall the specific circumstances at that time, only a general impression; however, some trivial matters that she had never intentionally committed to memory were vividly recalled, with the details becoming clearer and more complete each time.

Due to the light and distance, Xin Yitian could not clearly see the expression on his face. However, inexplicably, she suddenly felt a pang of anxiety, like summer rain, arriving without reason and leaving without explanation. She could not say another word and hurriedly left with a flustered heart

Shen Jun spoke in a low and submissive tone, saying that the guests had already been invited to leave, and it would be unacceptable to let him lose face.

Xin Yitian was desperately searching through the remnants of impressions in her mind: an image of a boy in a school uniform sitting at a desk gradually emerged before her—"handsome, quiet, rarely smiling. Good grades, fond of drawing, and seemingly good at sports. That's all, nothing more."

He squatted down and pulled out the weeds one by one, saying softly: "It has been eleven years, and the younger generation of the Xie family doesn't even know that such a person once existed; those who remember are also unwilling to think back on it."

She stood up, lowered her head to brush off the dust and weeds clinging to her, and softly said: "I am leaving, what about you?"

A long time had passed, and she could only remember the general location. When she finally found Xie Hou's grave, someone had arrived before her. Xie was leaning against the tombstone, half lying there, with his head buried in his arms as if he were asleep. It was unclear how long he had been there; in front of the grave lay a bouquet of chrysanthemums and an empty wine bottle

At that time, her father passed away due to illness, and her mother, unable to conceal her grief, often wept. She began to grow silent. The family's financial situation was also poor; every time the school required payment, even if it was just 3 or 5 yuan, she would worry about it and did not dare to ask her mother for money. She spoke less and less, had no friends, and her grades were mediocre. Later, her mother married Shen Jiashan. Although her opinion had been sought beforehand, she still felt a sense of abandonment and could only hope to grow up quickly, with a single-minded desire to leave.

Xin Yitian pretended not to see him and called out to him as he was about to leave, "I vaguely heard a few sentences of your conversation just now. If it's just for the cost of a meal, I still have some money." She was afraid that Shen Junhe would ask her for an exorbitant amount, so she took the initiative to say, "Is two thousand yuan enough?"

It is a good thing for young people to be busy, but they must pay attention to their health no matter how busy they are. Mother Xin is very fond of her son-in-law Wei Xian and reminds Xin Yitian to take good care of him. She then took an envelope from the room and handed it to her daughter, saying, "You keep this." Xin Yitian opened it to find a savings book, which likely contained her mother's lifetime savings. She hurriedly returned it to her mother, saying, "Mom, you underestimate your daughter too much; I don't lack money."

The first time she saw Xiede, it was as if she saw him again. That year, Xiede had just turned sixteen

Why do I like him? Perhaps it is a certain gesture of his that he does unconsciously, perhaps it is the calm demeanor he displays while gazing out the window, perhaps it is the serious expression he wears when he is painting, or maybe it is the shy smile he gives her... The specific reason, Xin Yitian can no longer recall. Among a group of noisy and glib boys, he is so quiet, special, and distinct.

Oh, does Aunt have this habit as well? Alright, alright, no problem!" Shen Jun readily agreed.

Seeing her so persistent, Xin's mother had no choice but to let it go. Little did she know that Xin Yitian's words were spoken without intention, yet someone was listening with purpose. During lunch, Shen Junhe was particularly enthusiastic towards her, insisting on sitting next to her, pouring her drinks from time to time, and serving her soup. Xin Yitian was taken aback by the attention; at first, she did not react, repeatedly expressing her gratitude with thanks. Later, when she noticed he did not leave after finishing his meal and continued to sit beside her, making small talk, she realized he probably had something he needed her help with. She deliberately avoided the crowd and went to the corridor to get some fresh air.

She took a few steps, turned around, hesitated for a moment and said: "You, you must take care of your health, do not overexert yourself, after all, health is the most important thing"

Xin Yitian fundamentally did not believe his words. As long as he did not shout at his mother or look at her coldly, she would pray to the gods and buddhas, having no expectation that he would repay her. Shen Jun and the nobleman were forgetful, and since Xin Yitian did not bring it up, he certainly would not remember the matter of borrowing money

In July, the weather became even hotter. On July 8th, Xin Yitian finished her work early. She left work ahead of schedule and went to a flower shop to buy a large bouquet of white orange branches, then took a taxi to a cemetery in the suburbs. The area was filled with cypress trees and lush grass. The atmosphere was overly solemn and quiet, and the sound of her high heels striking the bluestone path echoed clearly in her ears, causing her heart to involuntarily tighten and become flustered.

Mom—"Xinyi Tian hugged her mother's neck and said softly: 'You have raised me to this age, and that is the best dowry.'"

Xin Yitian also squatted down to help, expressing with deep emotion: "It has been eleven years, back then I was sixteen, in my second year of high school, and in the blink of an eye, I have become what I am now. Time is like a knife, each cut urging one to grow old."

Shen Junhe realized that she was unwilling to lend it, and her face instantly fell. When she entered the room, she slammed the door with a loud bang

Mother Xin called to complain about her daughter, saying that she was in Shanglin but did not come to see her. Xin Yitian, who was reluctant to go to the Shen family, could only say: "Alright, alright, I will go this weekend, I will go this weekend"

Her concern is not about whether she can afford to buy a car, but rather whether she should spend her own money to purchase a vehicle that appears impractical just to cater to the vanity of the Wei family's friends and relatives. Given Beijing's terrible traffic conditions, notorious difficulty in finding parking, and the ever-increasing fuel prices, she believes that using public transportation is a more sensible choice, and it also aligns with the government's call for "low-carbon travel and environmental protection"

Come and eat! I do not know if children are inherently cruel, but those so-called virtues of benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and trust are all cultivated later in life. At that time, anything that was alive was not spared from being eaten by me, such as sparrows, cicadas, water snakes, toads, mice, grasshoppers, geckos, and so on. I even ate pangolins, which tasted quite good.

Now the riddle is finally solved—"" Xie raised her head, looking at her through the reversed light, and asked: "Why did you send the orange stem? Because he likes it?"

It seems so, but he appears to be quite troubled. Every time he receives a gift or an invitation, he always looks as if he doesn't know what to do. Looking back now, it is rather amusing. Xin Yitian was immersed in memories, "I have been in the same class as him since middle school. Over the course of three years, we spoke no more than ten sentences to each other, and unexpectedly, we ended up in the same class again in high school. At that time, I was very introverted and shy, and even after becoming classmates again, I never took the initiative to speak to him. " We had been in the same class since middle school, and over three years, we spoke no more than ten sentences to each other. I never expected to be in the same class again in high school. Back then, I was very introverted and shy, and even after becoming classmates again, I never took the initiative to speak to him. This continued for about half a semester. One time after a monthly exam, he asked me how I did. Unfortunately, I performed poorly that time, and when he suddenly came over to talk to me, I was startled and ran away without saying a word. I couldn't understand why I was so rude at that moment, which led to another half semester without us speaking to each other. " Unfortunately, I performed poorly that time, and when he suddenly came over to talk to me, I was startled and ran away without saying a word. I couldn't understand why I was so rude at that moment, which led to another half semester without us speaking to each other.

Under normal circumstances, Shen Jun would not care about two thousand yuan at all; however, at this moment, he found himself in a desperate situation, needing to host a dinner that evening. The urgency of the matter was akin to a fire burning at his eyebrows, and he could only reluctantly nod in agreement.

He has taken on a job during this period and is particularly busy, working overtime every day and hardly having time to eat. She calls him, and eight out of ten times he says he is at the company. She feels quite distressed and thinks that once he gets through this busy period, she will find a moment to return to Beijing to see him.

After graduating from university, she went to France for further studies and worked there for more than two years. The most important thing she learned abroad is humor—when life plays tricks on you, why not share a laugh with it

Indeed, one should not flaunt wealth. Xin Yitian held this hot potato in her hands, unsure whether to throw it away or keep it, feeling caught in a dilemma, her head spinning. After pondering for a while, she tactfully said: "All my money is managed by Wei Xianzai, as he is more skilled in financial matters, so I do not have much cash available at hand..."

Xin Yitian could not help but say, "No wonder you are so successful; it turns out you have had a talent for being a cunning businessman since childhood." Fearing that he might lose his temper, she changed her tone to reproach, saying, "Why would you do such a cruel thing as killing frogs?"

The downstairs was empty, and Mother Xin did not know where she had gone. Voices were coming from Shen Jun'an's room, sometimes high and sometimes low. She walked over and heard Shen Jun'an scolding his younger brother, "How much money did you take from me to go out and play? Count it yourself! If you have no money, just stay at home honestly. What are you pretending to be generous for, treating others to eat and play, and even covering round-trip tickets! Do you think those people are your friends? They are just taking advantage of you as a fool..." If you have no money, just stay at home honestly. What are you pretending to be generous for, treating others to eat and play, and even covering round-trip tickets! Do you think those people are your friends? They are just taking advantage of you as a fool..."

Like in slow motion, Xie, who was crouching on the ground, turned his head and looked up at the woman he loved but could not have. Behind her was the boundless sky and the mighty mountain wind

"For no particular reason, I just picked it up." She did not elaborate further, brushing it off with a few words. After circling the tombstone, she sighed and said, "The cemetery is not well managed; look, there are weeds growing in the cracks of the stones and no one is taking care of it."

After experiencing the initial panic, Xin Yitian took a deep breath to calm herself down, seriously contemplating the question he posed. She answered slowly, word by word, "How should I put it? I can't say it's love; it can only be considered a crush, because the other person is completely unaware. Moreover, without any psychological preparation, a person suddenly left, which is why it has been hard to forget. It's just like that." Without any psychological preparation, a person suddenly left, which is why it has been hard to forget. It's just like that.

Shen Jun and Guo Ran indeed followed out. At first, Gu was evasive. Xin Yitian said directly: "Just say what you want to say." He was quite straightforward and immediately asked her to lend him money

Xin Yitian was taken aback, unable to anticipate that he would actually ask to borrow money from her. She calmly inquired how much he wanted to borrow. Shen Jun, in a bold manner, said: "One hundred thousand?" Upon seeing her expression change dramatically, he quickly revised his request, saying: "Fifty thousand is fine too. You earn euros in France; this amount is not a big deal."

Xin Yitian was so angry that she almost spat blood, thinking to herself that she would rather do charity than lend money to this spendthrift. She simply said: "I only have five hundred yuan in cash, and the credit card I have is a supplementary card of Wei Xian, so I cannot withdraw cash. Therefore, I cannot lend you any money." In fact, she and Wei Xian had always maintained financial independence.

Along the way, she recalled many events from her youth. Those things she had thought were long forgotten were actually hidden somewhere all along, merely waiting for an opportunity to resurface. Through these memories, at the age of twenty-seven, she relived the feelings of having a crush on someone.

In stark contrast, he came from a well-off family, excelled academically, and was always called upon to play basketball after class. Throughout the three years of middle school, they had no interactions whatsoever. She had never borrowed his books or pens, his basketball had never landed at her feet, they rarely encountered each other on the road, nor had they ever been assigned to work on an experiment together

"I have never heard you mention anything about your time with him as a classmate. What kind of person is he in your eyes?" Xie De's tone was unusually gentle and calm, contrasting with his usual coldness and detachment.

You should also be prepared. By the way, why hasn't Wei Xian come?

Without waiting for her to finish, Shen Junhe asked insensitively, "Just tell me how much you can lend?"

If I don't embarrass you once, you won't learn your lesson. If you don't leave now, I will tell Dad!

Mother Xin still said in disbelief: "You have only been working for a few years, how could you have any money"

He heard footsteps, slowly raised his head, and for a moment, his eyes were vacant and devoid of expression

Xie De asked: "So how did you start talking again?"

Xin Yitian said enviously: "Wow, having such an older brother is truly wonderful"

Xin Yitian, unwilling to be looked down upon by her mother, made a strange expression and said loudly: "Well, at least your daughter is earning euros in France! You say you have a salary and refuse to let me support you in your old age, so I can't take your savings either!"

In fact, I do not come every year; sometimes I am busy with meetings and social engagements, and then I forget. I remember many years ago, the first time I came, there was also a bouquet of white tangerine stems quietly placed in an inconspicuous corner. At that time, he had just passed away, and many relatives and friends came to pay their respects, all bringing chrysanthemums, so I have always remembered this incident. I was very curious to know who was so ignorant at that time.

Xin Yitian silenced her mother's nagging with a simple "I want to eat" and sat with her mother under the tree, sorting vegetables and chatting about daily life. Xin's mother asked her how the house renovation was going, how the wedding preparations were, whether the guest list had been finalized, where the wedding banquet would be held, and so on. Xin Yitian hurriedly replied, "Mom, it's still early, it's only a few months into the year"

A few days ago, I heard someone mention him, and that reminded me. Coincidentally, I was nearby, so I came to pay my respects. " Xin Yitian explained her visit in such a casual manner.

Then he must be very popular at school

She walked step by step into the depths of the cemetery, following her memories. The numerous tombstones standing on both sides left her somewhat dazed: what were these people like in life? Did their loved ones often come to visit them?

Xin Yitian asked him to give her his card number, saying she would transfer the money to him once they returned to the hotel. Shen Junhe's attitude immediately underwent a complete turnaround, "When are you going back? I can drive you." She had originally planned to wait until the sun went down, when it would be cooler outside, but seeing Shen Junhe bouncing around her like a clown, she had no choice but to bid farewell to her mother and Shen Jiashan in advance.

The bond among your classmates seems rather profound. His tone sounded as if it contained a thorn

She did not speak. If a person leaves without warning when you are both sixteen years old, it is a profound shock to the soul for anyone. Even if this shock gradually diminishes with the passage of time, the impact of first realizing the impermanence of life and death will continue to resonate throughout your entire life.

Xin Yitian raised her head and said seriously: "Mom, I cannot accept this money. You cannot just marry off your daughter and spend your own savings on it." After saying this, she smiled and winked, saying: "Besides, your daughter is wealthier than you think; buying a car is an easy task for her."

He never knew her feelings, and she never thought of letting him know

Silly child, the bride's family is not providing any dowry, and they will be looked down upon by others

"Do you know what my brother looks like in my eyes?" Under her prompting, Xie slowly opened the door to his memories, and scenes from his childhood flashed before him. He recounted: "He was painting in the yard while I was catching frogs, and then I pressed my blood-stained hands onto his painting. He wanted to hit me, so I ran away, fell down, and cried loudly, which startled my father. I exaggeratedly reported him to my father, who then gave him a good spanking. He wanted to hit me, so I ran away, fell down, and cried loudly, which startled my father. I exaggeratedly reported him to my father, who then gave him a good spanking. I felt guilty and cried, begging my father not to hit him, and instead received a chicken leg as a reward. In the end, he was punished to kneel, and I accompanied him, but I just squatted in front of him eating the chicken leg. Sometimes, out of sudden kindness, I would share half of it with him, but when it came time for us to share food, I would remind him to return my half of the chicken leg, and he would have to give me half of what he had. This kind of thing would happen every so often, and basically, every time it was me causing trouble and him being unlucky.

That is because we became desk mates in the second year of high school, so we certainly cannot avoid talking to each other now

Xin Yitian knew that she had completely offended him. Although she did not care, the thought of her mother's future days in the Shen family troubled her—none of the Shen siblings were easy to deal with. She let out a heavy sigh, stayed outside for a while, and then walked back in

Before we even reached the train station, we were stopped by someone we knew. It was dark, and my parents were frantically searching for us, almost to the point of calling the police. When we got home, my older brother was severely reprimanded by my dad, having to write a self-reflection paper a hundred times. As for me, I faced no consequences; my mom even went to the street corner to buy me beef noodles. No one mentioned the incident with the color television.

"You child, if I ask you to take it, then take it. You two should save up some more money to buy a car," Mother Xin insisted as she shoved it into her daughter's hands.

"Oh... you really dare to eat anything..." Xin Yitian shook his head repeatedly.

Wei Xian displayed a very open-minded attitude, "Well, who hasn't had one or two objects of sexual fantasy in their youth"

Miraculously, she managed to get accepted into a prestigious university, which took everyone by surprise. She believed that her good fortune was due to his spirit watching over her. Once in college, she began to realize that her thoughts needed to be expressed through language in order for others to understand her. She made some friends, and her friendship with He has continued to this day. She became more lively and cheerful, and the times she thought of him became fewer and fewer. She made some friends, and her friendship with He has continued to this day. She became more lively and cheerful, and the times she thought of him became fewer and fewer

"Do you still remember his memorial day?" He seemed to awaken, sitting up straight and asking.

Until she decided to apply for the tutoring position with Xie De. A hidden curiosity compelled her to want to know what his brother, who shared the closest blood relationship with him, was like

We both had an experience of running away from home. At that time, I was about four or five years old, and he was also very young. I had broken the newly purchased color television at home—I have told you before that I have always enjoyed tinkering with car electronics and such things; if it weren't for the need to inherit the family business, I would have pursued a degree in electronics. Back then, black-and-white televisions were quite rare, let alone color televisions. He was also very scared, afraid that our parents would come back and scold us. I don't know who suggested running away from home, but we both left the house with our backpacks, not knowing where to go. After some discussion, we decided to take a train to my aunt's house in Zhejiang.

I would like to stay a little longer

Xin Yitian was at a loss. The reason she came so late was to avoid others and prevent any awkwardness, yet she happened to run into him. After hesitating for a moment, she still walked over and gently placed the flowers on the ground

Every time she passed by his desk, her heart would race, and she never dared to look up. One time, after finishing her meal and returning to the classroom, it was empty, with no one inside. A gust of wind blew in, causing the books and papers in the room to rustle loudly. The calculation paper on his desk floated to the ground like a fallen leaf. She hesitated but eventually walked over to pick it up. On the densely packed numbers, a red pen had drawn a headshot of a person—her homeroom teacher, Mr. Wu, was glaring at her with piercing eyes. She felt as if she had been scalded, hurriedly pressed the paper under her pencil case, and fled back to her seat.

On the first day of the new school year in her senior year, she received the news of his passing, and she felt numb. For a long time, she still believed that if she just turned her head, she would see him sitting beside her. Her neighboring seat remained empty for a long time, and no one moved over, leaving her feeling very lonely. Sometimes, she would lean on the desk, looking at the empty seat to her left, talking to the air, "Hi, are you doing well over there? Do you have to take exams every day? What do you eat every day? Or do you eat nothing at all..." Hearing the rustling of the sycamore trees outside the window, sometimes she would lean on the desk, looking at the empty seat to her left, talking to the air, "Hi, are you doing well over there? Do you have to take exams every day? What do you eat every day? Or do you eat nothing at all..." Hearing the rustling of the sycamore trees outside, it felt like his response from heaven, and she was satisfied, burying herself back into her studies.

Xin Yitian laughed and scolded him for being vulgar, "Bah! Go sleep with your object of sexual fantasy!"

Shen Junhe was greatly angered by his sister's actions and could only walk out in displeasure. Upon seeing Xin Yitian sitting on the sofa, he did not hide his feelings and openly showed her a displeased expression