The Comedic Italy of World War II

Italy declared war on England and France solely out of jealousy for the achievements of Germany (the Germany of that time, it is hard to know what to say). The declaration of war was entirely unplanned, and there was a lack of necessary material preparations. Italian ships were still scattered across the globe and were immediately seized by enemy nations after the outbreak of hostilities. Due to the absence of any operational plans, no military actions were taken within 10 days following the declaration of war. Although there were subsequent attacks on French territory, they were repelled and forced to retreat back to their homeland by merely two divisions.

Media Interview - "Putin is a survivor of the Battle of Stalingrad." (In an interview with a domestic media outlet, he proudly stated that Putin survived the Battle of Stalingrad through his wit and bravery while many of his family members were killed. However, in reality, during this World War II defensive battle, Putin was still 10 years away from his birth.)

The so-called paradise in the world is

The banker is a Swiss national

6. On the North African battlefield, the British forces achieved a remarkable feat during World War I by leading 25 men to engage in combat against 10,000 Italian troops, resulting in the capture of over 8,000 individuals

3. On the North African battlefield, the German and Italian forces jointly hunted for the British troops. Due to the British soldiers hiding among the indigenous villagers, it was difficult to locate them. The German forces searched the villages back and forth, but achieved little success.

On the morning of the next day, a group of Italians came running, each holding a leaflet. Some anxiously asked, "Is this a certificate for surrender?" Upon receiving a positive response, they all happily surrendered their weapons. ... On the third day, the fourth day ... Initially, it was dozens at a time, but later hundreds came running with leaflets. On one occasion, two Italian soldiers surrendered with leaflets and informed the American troops that there were over 60 more in their unit who wanted to surrender but were too afraid to come over because they did not have a "surrender certificate." Consequently, ... it started with dozens at a time, and later hundreds came running with leaflets. On one occasion, two Italian soldiers surrendered with leaflets and informed the American troops that there were over 60 more in their unit who wanted to surrender but were too afraid to come over because they did not have a "surrender certificate." Therefore, the American troops immediately sent someone with "surrender certificates" to bring all these individuals over. On another occasion, an Italian soldier specifically came over to request another leaflet so that his brother could also surrender.

The next morning, a high-ranking officer appeared before him: "Yesterday, we made a small mistake by providing you, as an officer, with the dinner meant for a common soldier. This was certainly not an intentional act of mistreating a prisoner. Could you, for my sake, forgive the guard who made the error?"

Political rally - "No sexual activity firmly before the April 9 elections"

The banker is Italian

9, March 1941, United Kingdom

It is particularly noteworthy that the British forces, with fewer than 30 tanks, destroyed over 400 tanks of the Italian army. When 30,000 British soldiers faced 400,000 Italian soldiers, the British captured approximately "five acres of officers and 200 acres of soldiers"

11, December 1942, Soviet Union

Fourth, regarding surrender

The officer is a German

The officer is a British person

4. Quickly losing to Ethiopia is akin to preparing to unleash poison gas... The story of France being repelled before its surrender is also well-known to all...

7. The German army received a request for assistance from Italy in the desert and dispatched a squadron of troops for the rescue. When they met with the Italians, they found that the latter were using precious water to cook pasta

The so-called hell in the world is

In June 1940, while Hitler was launching an attack on France, Italy took advantage of the situation when France was nearly on the verge of surrender due to the ravages of the German army, and joined in the fray, resulting in the occupation of many territories by France

Italy was attacked by the Soviet army on the banks of the Don River, immediately abandoning all equipment and retreating. In November, the Romanian army, which faced a similar attack and was at a disadvantage in equipment, held out for several days.

2. In Italy, there was a time when a suitable warehouse for storing explosives could not be found. It was thought that the church would not be targeted by enemy airstrikes, so over 100 tons of explosives were piled in the middle of the city at the Church of San Nazaro. As a result, the church steeple was struck by lightning, and the city was instantly blown apart, losing one-fifth of its area due to the massive explosion. Consequently, the church steeple was struck by lightning, and the city was instantly blown apart, losing one-fifth of its area due to the massive explosion.

1. After Mussolini's resignation, Rome was occupied by the German army. Due to several incidents where men attacked German soldiers with knives while riding bicycles, the German army issued a ban on the use of bicycles. Soon, bicycle shops in Rome astonishingly converted all bicycles into tricycles, leading to a long-term presence of numerous tricycles rolling around in front of the German army.

3. During lunchtime, the battle will cease, and once the pasta is finished, it will sadly retreat to the rear of the front lines

3. Against the Italian army, the morale of the enemy will rise; the front line under Italian responsibility will be breached; the general who has consecutively defeated the Italians twice will be ridiculed

12. During the landing at Salerno, the Allied forces encountered no resistance at the beachhead. According to reports from military correspondents, the strongest resistance faced by the Allies at the beachhead came from a jaguar that had escaped from a local zoo due to the bombing, which bit two American soldiers

Accidentally shooting one's own marshal with an anti-aircraft gun made him the highest-ranking soldier among those mistakenly injured in World War II

1. Is there a way to enjoy delicious food even on the battlefield? ... Under this belief, while other countries were busy developing new types of weapons, Italy invented the method of freeze-drying food for military rations in order to have tasty meals ... . This left the United Nations greatly astonished

7. In the Sicily Campaign, the U.S. military dropped "bombshell leaflets". The leaflets stated that these leaflets could serve as "surrender certificates"; those who carried them could go to the rear of the Allied forces to receive food and gain safety

2. 1922 - 1935, Ethiopia (North African battlefield)

EU Summit - "Persson was devastated by those inferior British wines." (At the meeting, the UK invited attendees to taste British fine wines, but unexpectedly, Swedish Prime Minister Persson suffered from diarrhea after drinking. Berlusconi gifted the Swedish Prime Minister 24 bottles of Italian fine wine, claiming he wanted to help him recover from the "inferior British wine" he had consumed)

However, after the intervention of British and American forces in the war, Italy truly became Italy

7. The aircraft is not equipped with a radio.

2. On the battlefield 10 kilometers away from the supply station, due to hunger, the entire army cooked pasta to eat, and then the entire army was easily captured by the enemy

My partner is Swiss

8. In North Africa, the British forces accepted the surrender of a group of armed Italian soldiers. The British, preoccupied with collecting spoils of war, shouted at the Italians, "Be quiet! Go over there!" and continued to gather their loot. In the absence of alternatives, the captives had no choice but to raise their guns above their heads and wander around in search of the British. Furthermore, due to the overwhelming number of prisoners, the British were unable to construct a prisoner of war camp in time; they simply instructed the quartermaster to provide the Italian prisoners with raw materials, allowing them to build a camp for themselves to confine themselves.

6. Some Italian prisoners escaped from a camp because there was no pasta to eat. They ran to another camp where pasta was available. Later, the previous camp assured them that they would provide pasta, so they returned...

5. The German definition of an ideal war is: Germany provides the weapons, the Soviet Union supplies winter equipment, the United Kingdom supplies summer equipment, the United States is responsible for provisions, France provides entertainment, the Finns cover the flanks, while the enemy in front is the Italians

Beishi Grand Talk Original Sound Playback

6. Regarding the Campaign

Naples Campaign - "China once boiled children to make fertilizer," said D'Alema, the chairman of the largest party, the Left Democratic Party: "Fortunately, there are only 10 days left in the Italian campaign, otherwise Italy would declare war on all humanity." The Italian Ministry of Foreign Affairs is in deep trouble due to this Prime Minister's "linguistic bomb"

Only after declaring war on the Allies did they begin to formulate a battle plan

Upon witnessing this situation, the Italians said to the local indigenous people: "If you tell us where the British are, we will give you 5 bags of sugar and flour!" As a result, the next day, all the British soldiers were captured

12. The Italian Front

4. June 1940, United Kingdom, France

The chef is a Frenchman

1. Due to the weak sense of national identity, destroyers with fewer personnel are more active than battleships in comparison to submarines

Attached: The natural airhead produced by the airhead nation—current Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi

1. In 1943, when the Allied forces advanced into Italy, they faced the German army...

Seventh, Italians are strong in times of peace.

4. In Yugoslavia, a German officer captured by guerrillas was astonished and asked, "Where did you get the anti-tank guns?" When the guerrillas informed him that they had been seized from their allies—the Italians—he sighed, saying, "Ah! Those lovely Italians"

The 7 divisions of Italy attacking Egypt encountered a counterattack from two divisions of the British Army and were forced to retreat, with 130,000 men captured and the loss of Cyrenaica. To rescue Italy, Germany had to postpone the "Operation Barbarossa" by one month, dispatching troops for assistance and utilizing approximately 7,000 trucks that were not originally planned (a total of only 14,000 trucks were deployed on the Eastern Front). This had a significant impact on the situation on the Eastern Front. To rescue Italy, Germany had to postpone the "Operation Barbarossa" by one month, dispatching troops for assistance and utilizing approximately 7,000 trucks that were not originally planned (a total of only 14,000 trucks were deployed on the Eastern Front). This had a significant impact on the situation on the Eastern Front

2. Those who cannot defeat indigenous people armed with bows and arrows using cannons and machine guns, and those who can be outmatched by wooden ships despite having iron vessels, are none other than the Italians

15. When Rommel visited the Italian trenches on the North African front, he came under artillery fire from the Allies. The Italians immediately dropped to the ground, praying, "Oh, Lady Maria!" Rommel said to the Italian commander: "Tell them to stop praying and start fighting back. This is all I have to say."

On June 30, 1940, Marshal Balbo, the Italian Governor of Libya, was shot down by his own anti-aircraft artillery over Tobruk. To conceal this tragedy, the Italians announced that the Marshal had perished in aerial combat with the British.

In fact, throughout World War II, Africa did not seem to be a major battlefield. However, the Italians actively proposed an offensive in North Africa. As a side note, the Italians had previously attempted to invade North Africa in the 19th century, suffering a disastrous defeat. At that time, German Chancellor Bismarck mocked the Italians, saying they arrived on the African continent "with mouths full of cavities and an excellent appetite." Italy deployed tank and air forces but faced continuous defeats from the outset of the war. In the face of the advancing Egyptian army, poison gas played a savior's role. From then on, poison gas spread throughout Ethiopia alongside the movements of the Italian army. This can be considered one of the few successful endeavors of Italy. It is worth mentioning that at that time, the Ethiopian army was equipped only with small firearms, outdated muskets, and even had units that used only spears.

The 4 Italian divisions advancing from Guadalajara towards Madrid encountered enemy attacks. Due to a significant number of surrendering troops in Italy, they ultimately retreated from Guadalajara.

7. Losing two consecutive battles is the signal for "How boring it is to fight; let's go back and chase girls"

8. In order to establish a submarine force, the Italian Navy commissioned a precision machinery development factory to produce waterproof watches. As a result, the finished products left no space for the hands to rotate and were comically heavy. The sole purpose of this invention was to provide inspiration for other manufacturers to create waterproof watches

Therefore, it can be said with certainty: Thank God that Italy joined the Axis Powers during World War II; otherwise, the Nazi Iron Cross might have truly spread across the globe

6. The quality of the grenades is extremely poor; when thrown, one cannot be certain whether they will explode or when they will detonate. However, it is precisely during moments of lowered vigilance that they may unexpectedly explode

8. The submarine named after the great scientist "Galileo" was defeated in a confrontation with an armed British fishing vessel and was captured by the opponent. Initially, the "Galileo" launched an attack against the opponent, but was continuously hit by the fishing vessel, which was not even equipped with a lighting sight (note: it was a fishing vessel!). Ultimately, it surrendered due to the captain's injury

13. When the encirclement of Topol' was underway, Rommel inspected the positions early in the morning and discovered that the area defended by an elite Italian rifle company was completely empty, leaving only a mess behind.

3. It was only after investigating the cause of the fuel shortage at the airport that it was discovered there was no fuel management department

Fifth, regarding the Allied Powers

3, March 1937, Spain

1. First, let us discuss the Eight-Nation Alliance related to China. Italy was also involved, but to what extent did Italy suffer? It had intended to emulate Germany by sending troops to China to seize spheres of influence, but as a result, two modern steel warships were deterred and fled before they could even dock, chased away by the weak navy (wooden ships) that had been rebuilt after the First Sino-Japanese War. The army only dispatched 80 men, most of whom were not combat troops. Compared to invasion, I would prefer to believe that they were merely trying to join in the excitement.

6. It has not gone unnoticed that there are quite a few allied countries that have not yet discovered Italy's entry into the war

3. The most tragic situation should be in Germany... still in North Africa, Rommel discovered a British prisoner of war camp where Italian prisoners were held. In the spirit of camaraderie, he attempted a rescue, but as soon as the gunfire erupted, the Italians fled alongside the British...

Italy: Indeed, peace is the best... Italy, you really should not go to war... you lack the talent for it... Germany, ever since you took in Italy, this naturally submissive one, you have become the most pitiable little aggressor in the world... I shed a handful of bitter tears...

8, December 1940, Egypt, United Kingdom

6. In Italy, there was once a saying during the night, "If we have fallen asleep, the other party must have also fallen asleep, and therefore we will not be attacked." Ultimately, this belief led to a surprise attack by the British forces

5. When the American forces landed in Italy and confronted the Italians, they sensed a complete lack of will to fight among the Italians, and thus deliberately reduced the intensity of their attacks. On one occasion, a German reconnaissance aircraft flew over the battlefield. The Italian military commander, feeling embarrassed, ordered his troops to feign an active engagement and attack. The American forces, lacking motivation, responded half-heartedly. This skirmish was observed by the German reconnaissance aircraft, which remarked, "Impressive! The Italians have halted the American offensive!" (Oh my God). On another occasion, the same scenario unfolded with the German reconnaissance aircraft observing the battlefield, and the Italian commander again ordered a show of force, while the Americans continued their lackluster response. The German reconnaissance aircraft noted, "Impressive! The Italians have halted the American offensive!" (Oh my God)

9. At the end of World War II, prisoners from Germany, Italy, and Japan were held in concentration camps in Austria. The Germans organized themselves to attempt to dig tunnels to escape the camps, the Japanese organized themselves to commit seppuku, while the Italians, even when the gates of the concentration camp were left open, cooperatively stayed put, occasionally going out to harass charming young women

In the history of modern warfare, without Italy, there would only be bloodshed and slaughter—whereas the presence of Italy adds a touch of comedic color to modern warfare

5. In order to maintain cleanliness on the battlefield, firearms designers invented a machine gun that can insert spent cartridges back into the drum... (Italy waves the white flag: I love environmental protection!)

Many historians believe that it was Italy's shortcomings during World War II that accelerated the downfall of the fascist regime led by Hitler

The Italian and British fleets engaged in battle in the Strait of Matapan, resulting in the loss of three heavy cruisers for Italy, while Britain suffered no losses

As soon as they joined the Axis Powers, the Axis Powers immediately apologized to them in tears

6. In October 1940, when Italy invaded Greece, the Italian army, consisting of 21 divisions known as the "Million Army," was repelled by 13 Greek divisions to the Albanian border, and was poised to cross the Adriatic Sea to attack the Italian mainland... The most ironic thing is that prior to this, the Greek government maintained neutrality due to its good relations with Germany... (Italy was waiting for the right moment to strike...) After this battle, Greece joined the ranks of the Allies. The most ironic thing is that prior to this, the Greek government maintained neutrality due to its good relations with Germany... (Italy was waiting for the right moment to strike...) After this battle, Greece joined the ranks of the Allies. (Deep sympathy for Germany.)

11. During World War II, when Italy launched an attack on Greece, the Italian soldiers unanimously stated that they could not proceed with the offensive because there were Finnish troops within Greece (Finnish soldiers had inflicted severe losses on the Soviets during the Winter War). Mussolini then requested that Finland withdraw its forces from Greece. Upon investigation, Finland discovered that there were only three Finnish soldiers and three officers serving as volunteers in Greece. Consequently, they replied to Mussolini that the so-called troops consisted of merely six volunteers. Mussolini was extremely angry and sent a telegram to Finland: "I am referring precisely to these individuals!"

4. The military uniform of Italy is gentlemanly attire, and it has imported 30 million tons of black tea from around the world. A famous Italian wine features the slogan "When drunk, one will not fear battle." Among the supplies captured by the enemy, the quantity of wine exceeded that of ammunition.

First, regarding food

In fact, on our round Earth, happiness is the only eternal truth, and peace is the central theme

4. An advanced design featuring a sealed cockpit was once adopted during the development of a certain fighter aircraft; however, due to complaints from pilots stating that they "could not feel the breath of the wind," the design was reverted to an open cockpit. Consequently, Italy did not develop a high-speed fighter aircraft until the end of World War II

European Union Summit of Heads of Government - "There is no news at the moment, unless we declare war on France"

5. When Churchill called to inquire how many Italians had been captured by the British commander Auchinleck, Auchinleck proudly replied: "I can't count them, approximately five acres of officers and 200 acres of soldiers"

In a battle in North Africa, a small number of British tanks charged towards the Italian anti-tank gun positions. Initially, the Italians returned fire, but after two or three minutes, they suddenly stopped and raised the white flag to surrender. When the British later inquired about the reason, the Italians confidently replied: the ammunition boxes had not been pried open.

Ceremony Speech - "I persuaded the female President of Finland with my masculine charm." (At the inauguration ceremony of the European Food Safety Authority headquarters, Berlusconi exaggeratedly stated that he showcased a "flower boy" style of "masculine charm" to convince Halonen to abandon the competition with Italy)

Finally, let us conclude with the song of Grandpa Rome from Hetalia

Subsequently, the reinforcements from Germany arrived, marking the beginning of a genuine fierce battle

During World War II, Italy was part of the fascist alliance formed with Germany and Japan, known as the "Axis Powers." Germany held a contradictory attitude towards Italy's participation in the war, a sentiment reflected in a joke made by German military enthusiasts about Italy.

10. In order to secure funding for foreign trade, Italy is willing to sell advanced equipment, which even its own air force is not equipped with, to foreign countries, including adversaries

5. The prisoners captured by Italy were able to enjoy a luxurious meal every day. On the day an English pilot was captured by the Italians and sent to a prisoner of war camp, he received his dinner in the cell that evening. It consisted of a full course, starting from appetizers to pasta and meat dishes, complete with fruits and red wine at the end, a meal so extravagant it felt unnatural

14. When Italy was attacked by Greece, the French erected a sign at the Italy-France border: Greeks, stop, you are now in France

In July 1943, Mussolini's fascist government collapsed, and a new government formed by Badoglio began secret negotiations with the United States and Britain regarding surrender. Meanwhile, Hitler swiftly assembled 8 divisions the day after Mussolini's fall, with Field Marshal Rommel in command. In early August, they crossed the border into northern Italy (Italy, as the Allies approached your home, it was the Germans you faced... Germany, truly honorable!). On September 13, Mussolini, who had been imprisoned, was rescued. The war on the battlefield continued until April 27, 1945, when partisans (partisans, indeed?!) captured Mussolini and his mistress. On April 29, Germany signed an unconditional surrender, which took effect on May 2, marking the complete end of the Italian campaign.

7. Italy's most significant contribution to Germany was probably after it aligned with the Axis Powers—Italy's equipment was plundered by Germany, leading to a peak in Germany's military production that year

The old-fashioned biplane fighters of the British Navy attacked the Italian fleet in Taranto Bay, resulting in the sinking of one warship and moderate damage to two others in the Italian fleet. The British forces suffered no losses whatsoever

In October, the Romanian military proposed to take the initiative to launch an attack while the Soviet forces were in a pause during their offensive, but this was ultimately not implemented due to supply issues. The Italian military has never made such a constructive proposal.

10. In 1943, the Allied forces landed in Italy, where a battlefield saw intense fighting for an entire morning without any casualties. The only loss was that their own aircraft dropped paratroopers into the sea, mistaking a sandbank for the landing zone.

8. Western Proverb: "The Italians on our side" - A famous saying from World War II. During World War II, Italy was one of the Axis powers, yet it consistently faced defeats and became a liability. On the North African front, the Italian forces were more of a hindrance than a help. When the American troops first engaged in the North African campaign, they also suffered numerous defeats, leading the British to humorously refer to the American forces as "the Italians on our side." This saying later spread throughout the West.

Thirdly, regarding combat effectiveness

3,000 Italian soldiers surrendered on the spot after encountering a roadblock set up by a company of British troops

Is this what is called the Last Supper

7, October 1940, United Kingdom

2. The U.S. military bombed two small islands off the coast of Sardinia, where more than 10,000 Italians were stationed. However, in the end, the Allied bombing resulted in the deaths of over 40 Italians, leading Italy to accept the surrender of the U.S. pilots.

4. An Italian regiment was surrounded by 287 Americans, and Germany dispatched 3 tanks for rescue, defeating the advancing Americans. However, with the perfect coordination of the Italian infantry, 274 American soldiers managed to escape.

If Italy remains neutral, it is equivalent to an increase of 10 divisions in our military strength; if Italy opposes the fascists, it is equivalent to an increase of 20 divisions in our military strength; however, if Italy joins the Axis powers, our military will have to expend the strength of 50 divisions to protect it! (Italy, what can I say about you ... ... )

There are more historical facts to prove this. During World War II, Italy's situation had reached an astonishing level, leaving many anecdotes for later historians to study.

9 In "Liberation," Mussolini said to Hitler: "You do not understand the Italians; they do not like to fight." Hitler once remarked: "In all of Italy, only the leader is a Roman." It has also been said that "Italy is a country supported by 10% of serious citizens"

2. In order to compensate for the deficiencies in their transportation capacity, the German army requisitioned the cars of Italian civilians. An actress named Anna, whose car was requisitioned, expressed her dissatisfaction by pushing a farm cart onto the street and shouting at the German soldiers, "Get away! Get away!" She then left through the German positions under the gaze of the public.

The lover is Italian

The chef is an Englishman

In fact, at the beginning of the war, Italy also enjoyed a period of glory. Due to the policy of appeasement, Italy had once used modern aircraft, tanks, artillery, and even poison gas troops to "victoriously" occupy Ethiopia, a poor and underdeveloped country in North Africa.

The technician is a German

The Italian force of 250,000 troops engaged in battle with the British army of 35,000 men, and soon thereafter surrendered

The technician is a Frenchman

10, 1942, United Kingdom

Second, regarding armaments