Chapter 9: Purity

We both watched him measure the dimensions with a caliper, and in his words, cutting off an extra centimeter would cost several dozen yuan; even with money, one shouldn't waste it like that

Thus, this couplet with a strong tragic tone was affixed to the entrance of our bar. While it was being hung, a young man studying literature at Columbia University paused on the street to observe it for quite some time. As he left, he remarked, "It is too profound, too rich in humanistic spirit; true talent emerges from the common folk."

He spread the cut paper on the table, picked up the pen, and pondered for quite a while: "What on earth should I write?"

Should we also give Wang Laoer a call? I suddenly remembered there is such a person.

The old dog remained silent, and Xiao Li also stayed silent. Xiao Yue nodded at me

Within five minutes of the phone call, he appeared before us. Could it be that he had been lingering at the door all along? I have a vivid imagination; just the thought of an old man wandering aimlessly by the roadside during the New Year, homeless, makes me feel quite sympathetic. I have always been a kind-hearted person since childhood.

On the occasion of the Spring Festival, I wish everyone a happy Mid-Autumn Festival, family reunions, everlasting blessings, and longevity equal to that of the heavens

Ah, the little bunnies still remember me; I suppose you have a conscience. I have brought you some delicious food. Goodness, is it really so extravagant to write a Spring Festival couplet

Little Li had a displeased expression: "You want me to write again? Do you have any idea how high the cost would be to write a couplet using my materials?"

The result has turned out like this

A year spent in confusion is still a year

"Old dog, do you eat dog meat?" I asked him curiously

Little Li Zi is puzzled, while the old dog smirks

In fact, I am not unfamiliar with cooking, because when my parents were still alive, they always taught me, "Silly son, a man who can cook scores infinite points in a woman's heart." So I started learning to cook all sorts of strange dishes from a young age, such as chocolate noodles and also big white rabbit egg soup. Of course, in the end, these dishes were all consumed by me and Xiaoyue with tears in our eyes

"Brother, wwwhetushucom.com, do you want to drink big white rabbit egg soup tonight?" Xiaoyue might have been thinking along the same lines as me, as she asked me a question during a break while washing vegetables that puzzled the old dogs.

While they were not paying attention, Xiao Li and I each grabbed a shrimp with our hands and stuffed it into our mouths to start chewing, but Xiao Li got choked

I stood up holding a glass of cola: "This, I wish everyone a happy and healthy new year..." I realized I could not continue speaking.

Little Li nodded, picked up the brush, and with a flourish, set it to paper

I took a round and agreed with his viewpoint, and Xiao Li also took a round and agreed with his viewpoint

However, although I can cook, I have not seen how much I have scored in the hearts of women. After all, I cannot make cheesecake, nor can I smoke salmon. They usually give unlimited points to men who drive nice cars and can take them to enjoy authentic French or Italian cuisine, rather than to those who can only make them scrambled eggs with tomatoes.

Li Jieke, are you really doing this on purpose? Is there anyone as disruptive as you? The old dog revealed his fierce demeanor, his anger flaring up.

I took out one hundred from the wallet: "I bet on beef with Li Zi."

Thinking back to my childhood, I realize that I was indeed very creative. I feel it is quite a waste that I did not become an artist. However, I truly do not want to drink any of the varieties from the White Rabbit series ever again, I swear to the heavens

Bifang stood with one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me, saying: "You are talking nonsense, I will be twenty-four after the New Year."

His expression changed slightly, and he held back: "I won't eat, stop messing with me, or I'll lose my temper."

The old dog took out four ten-yuan notes: "I... I bet on the big cabbage"

"Damn, not enough money, add ten more." Bi Fang returned the forty yuan to the old dog and snatched his wallet, pulling out a fifty yuan note and placing it on the table

Indeed, among the three of us, it is still Xiao Li who is the most observant, pointing to the bare sides of the main door: "Look, we haven't put up the Spring Festival couplets yet"

I am at a loss for words: "How about trying egg soup made with White Rabbit milk candy?"

Bifang leaned in with a puzzled expression: "What is Big White Rabbit Egg Soup? Is it French cuisine?"

This is what is called retribution. Bi Fang mocked Xiao Lizi while pouring him water.

We have aged another year, haven't we? I calculated with my fingers and realized that after this year, I will be nearly twenty-seven. Time waits for no one; those many years have passed in the blink of an eye. Thinking back to when I was nearly twenty feels just like yesterday

Xiaoyue took the bank card that required everyone's signature to be used and went on a shopping spree at the supermarket. Of course, no one was bothered to sign that ridiculous name. Bi Fang was wearing new clothes and was outside playing with those kids who dared to defecate at the bar entrance, lighting firecrackers. She would always snatch the firecrackers from those little rascals, chasing them around the street.

What could be missing? The three of us gathered by the calendar again, I took out a box of white sand to distribute to them, and then fell into contemplation

Listening to Xiaoyue and following the Party has always been my guiding principle and strategy. Therefore, I called Wang Laoer, and upon hearing that there was free food to be had, he readily agreed and hurried over to us.

Wang Laoer went straight to the kitchen and took a clean basin, then he unwrapped the oil paper package layer by layer, revealing a roasted pig's head, golden brown and exuding a rich aroma. Upon seeing this, the old dog rushed to the bathroom and vomited uncontrollably

At last, under the watchful eyes of the crowd, Xiaoyue presented a large soup bowl. Upon lifting the lid, it revealed a full basin of prawns, including fried, salt and pepper, steamed, fragrant and spicy, braised, and dry pot styles—essentially every conceivable method of preparation was represented.

And Bi Fang, dressed in a newly purchased small horse coat, plush pants, and round-toed leather shoes, looked undeniably juvenile.

The New Year's Eve dinner is something that all of us must participate in; this is the rule, though I am not sure where this rule originates. In any case, everyone must join in, and there are still four hours left until dinner time

Being influenced by him to such a small extent, we indeed realized that we were missing something. I lifted my foot and prepared to go out to buy it

"Born from the same root"—the Queen of Sarcasm, Bi Fang, annihilates the old dog

As soon as they heard that I was going to beat them up, the old dog and Xiao Li became much more obedient. Both of them know they cannot defeat me, so it is better not to seek trouble for no reason.

"Cheers!" The old dog opened a bottle of Rémy Martin and placed it on the table with a resounding sound

Dishes were quickly served one after another, leaving only the final main course. Every year, the main course is prepared solely by Xiaoyue, and it is always kept a secret in advance. Personally, I feel that if any man were to marry Xiaoyue, it would be as if a phoenix had risen from his ancestors' graves. At this moment, I cannot help but admire the old dog's insight; fortunately, we did not choose Bifang back then, or it would have been a tragedy.

Xiaoyue's birthday is in July

We : `` ... ... ''

The old dog chuckled heartily, putting his arm around Xiao Li's shoulder: "It's the New Year, don't put on a long face. Come on, give me a smile. It's a rare occasion, after all, it only happens once a year, doesn't it"

I quickly stood between the two of them and tried to mediate: "It's all good, it's all good, it's the New Year, let's not make a fuss. If anyone causes trouble again, I'll take action."

Upon hearing this, everyone was taken aback, and the old dog trembled as he asked, "Have you ever tasted it?"

Today, Wang Lao Er did not cause us much trouble, except for making an old dog feel disgusted. However, that is also the old dog's own fault for eating fish and shrimp but not meat, which is clearly deserved.

I coughed to attract their attention and placed a fifty on the table: "Everyone guess what the main dish is this year, I bet fifty, it's fish."

Today is the legendary New Year's Eve. I wondered why there are firecrackers everywhere. Unconsciously, I almost forgot about the New Year celebrations. It seems that Old Dog and Little Li are in a similar situation. As I looked at the calendar, a deep sense of fear suddenly washed over me

Of course, Little Li Zi has also taught us that in life, one must have a humorous heart. With a humorous heart, one can find laughter even in the most tragic of worlds, laughing over three hundred times. We nodded in agreement, and I believe I possess a very humorous heart. Every time I watch the * graphic * books depicting the abuse of Little Li Zi, I find it particularly amusing, and so does the old dog.

Xiaoyue smiled with her lips pressed together and said, "Not just that, there is also Big White Rabbit Tomato Soup, Big White Rabbit Meat Slice Soup, Big White Rabbit Pig Liver Soup, and Big White Rabbit Three Delicacies Soup, all of which are produced by him." Xiaoyue pointed at me with her delicate chin, and I felt utterly embarrassed.

The old dog took a round and came back, muttering to us: "Isn't there something we are still missing, something missing? I always feel like something is lacking"

Wang Laoer added a stool to the upper seat, while the old dog kept its distance, mainly due to Wang Laoer's pig head meat. However, the flavor of this pig head was indeed quite good, and we ate it with our mouths full of grease

I leaned out to take a look: "Their style is too ordinary, give me something trendy."

"Fart" is my response to his statement

After the Year of the Ox comes the Year of the Tiger

This is our reserved menu, which we have to guess every year, as the main dish varies each year. We have tried everything from ostrich meat to pufferfish, so we are left wondering what ingredient will be featured this year.

Little Li is unwilling to back down: "It was you who let me express myself freely, and now you're looking for trouble with me?"

We sat at the dining table, waiting for this year's main course to be served. The old dog was clearly distracted, constantly trying to sneak into the kitchen.

I was stunned, the old dog was stunned, and even the Red Hare, under Lord Guan's hips, was also stunned

The old dog and Xiao Li Zi also gathered around upon hearing my words, and the three gentlemen surrounded the calendar, lamenting the relentless passage of time. The old dog even began to fantasize about which university his grandson would attend in the future

By the time the old dog finished vomiting and returned to the table, I felt quite sorry for him; he hadn't eaten anything all night, and it was all thrown up.

After she took her seat, Bi Fang ran out to light the firecracker that had been hanging at the door for a long time, while the old dog began to pray: "Thank you, Xiao Yue, for granting us delicious prawns. Amen"

At that moment, the old dog called me over: "It's already this late, the couplet sellers have gone home to cook. Let Li Zi write it, he's good at it."

Little Li quickly stuffed a piece of pig's head meat into the old dog's mouth before it could close.

Seeing Bi Fang's dirty face and hands, I said to Xiao Li Zi with a heavy heart: "You have committed a crime"

After the Year of the Tiger comes the Year of the Rabbit

At this moment, Xiaoyue returned, one hand carrying a large bag of items and the other hand holding a Bi Fang. Today, Xiaoyue's appearance was particularly sweet, with her delicate, rosy face adorned with light makeup, her long hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a festive pink jacket, and the Chinese-style cotton pants gifted to her by the old dog on his birthday last year, making her look especially alluring

She took all the money from the table and effortlessly placed it in her wallet, smiling at us: "Sorry, I win every year"

Then, a tragedy unfolds in the human realm

I am indecisive, and even the old dog is uncertain.

Speaking of fighting, I have fought with Old Dog and Little Li. They often quarreled over trivial matters during university, sometimes even resorting to physical confrontations. I frequently acted as a mediator between them. On one occasion, they got into a fight over whether Qu Yuan was from the Han or Qin dynasty. I could not mediate anymore as Old Dog was flying around like something out of "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" mixed with "Dragon Ball," while Little Li was throwing everything he had like a rain of soldiers. Seeing that things were about to escalate, I intervened and easily subdued them. I grabbed Old Dog by the foot and pulled Little Li by his belt, throwing them both into the river. After they came up, they launched a combined attack on me, but it was ineffective, so I tossed them back into the river. When they resurfaced, they had reconciled and then teamed up to trick me into treating them to a late-night snack. The next day, they even beat up a guy who claimed Qu Yuan was from the Southern and Northern Dynasties.

Xiao Lizzi could not resist us, so he went back to his room to get gold powder, sulfur, vermilion paste, and red paper coated with water glass. I am familiar with these materials; Xiao Lizzi had mentioned them to me. Not to mention the gold powder paste, just the red paper costs over 800 yuan per square meter, which is comparable to housing prices from a few years ago. Therefore, the cost of the couplets he writes generally ranges from 2,000 to 3,000 yuan. He usually uses red ink to draw talismans, but if he were to use these materials to draw a Heavenly Thunder talisman, it would surely blow Iron Man to pieces. Just the red paper alone costs over 800 yuan per square meter, which is comparable to housing prices from a few years ago. Therefore, the cost of the couplets he writes generally ranges from 2,000 to 3,000 yuan. He usually uses red ink to draw talismans, but if he were to use these materials to draw a Heavenly Thunder talisman, it would surely blow Iron Man to pieces.