Chapter 3: Not Enemies, Not Gathered Together

Jing Ke did not care about these trivial matters; he casually tossed his underwear aside and said, "Your clothes are very uncomfortable to wear"

Jing Ke received a warm welcome from Baozi. Baozi is someone who can easily get along with all my friends.

Jing Ke looked at me, who was perfectly intact, and after a long moment of distraction, suddenly exclaimed: "So it turns out it was too short!"

Oh, what a shame! I have been defeated by him

But I soon understood why. He picked up the dagger again and asked me, "But if it gets any longer, how will we get it in?" It seems that the main reason he wanted to linger in the mortal world for a year was to devise a perfect assassination plan

He casually swiped that item inside and pointed at the television, saying, "What do you feed them every day?" I walked over, feeling frustrated, to help him pull up the zipper. Just as I got it halfway, Baozi came in...

I opened the door and took a glance at Jing Ke, seeing that he was mostly dressed, just putting on a pair of underwear over his jeans. I hurriedly stepped inside and closed the door: "Dude, do you think you're Superman? That's supposed to be worn underneath."

I had no choice but to patiently ask him: "How large was the map of Dukan you were carrying at that time?"

Why don't you enlarge the scale— for example, the one you brought is at 1 to 10,000; if you enlarge the scale to 1 to 1,000, you could hide a longsword in the map; if the scale is 1 to 100, you could even bring in a halberd.

She is still holding vegetables in her hand. She is a very capable woman, possessing the frugality that comes from humble beginnings and a vitality that is commensurate with her age. As long as I do not look at her face directly, I genuinely love her.

Although Jing Ke did not fully understand my words, he grasped the general meaning. He slapped his forehead and exclaimed, "I am truly foolish, indeed!" Then, this Jing Ke version of Xianglin's Wife prostrated himself and said, "You truly deserve to be called a deity!"

That night, I could only prove my heterosexuality through actual actions. Under the dim light, Baozi's body appeared exceptionally beautiful, like a water pump draining me completely. In Baozi's words, she wanted to exhaust me to the point where, even if I had the desire, I wouldn't have the strength, allowing her to work without worries during the day. It wasn't until dawn that we tidied up the mess and slept for a while. Jing Ke snored all night. I found him to be an easy person to deal with; to put it bluntly, he was slightly lacking in intelligence and easily believed others. It might be related to the fact that he regarded me as a deity; as long as I didn't mention assassinating the First Emperor of Qin, he was just like a fool.

Some astute readers may have already guessed who this plump individual is

I thought he would feel embarrassed, but I was wrong

Baozi was originally going to wash the vegetables, but upon seeing my mysterious demeanor, instinctively wanted to come in to see what was going on. I covered the door and said with a smile, "A friend... is staying with us for a few days." Baozi took an eggplant from the vegetable basket, held the top of the eggplant, pointed the spiny end at me, and sternly said, "You just need to tell me if it's a man or a woman!" After learning it was a man, she waved her hand and tossed the eggplant back into the basket, beaming with joy as she said, "I will make you braised eggplant tonight..."

When it was time for dinner, I called Jing Ke to the table. Since there was still a year left, sneaking around was not a solution, so I decided to let him see the light of day early.

During the day, I opened the door an hour later than usual. Just as I took down the door panel, I found Liu Laoliu sitting on my steps smoking, with a stout man squatting beside him. Upon seeing me open the door, Liu Laoliu extinguished his cigarette, led the stout man inside, and told me that this stout man was my second client. As soon as he mentioned the stout man's name, I felt as if the sky was falling and the earth was collapsing.

He held a dagger in one hand, while with the other hand he gestured in front of the dagger's tip, saying, "This big."

Once Jing Ke resolved his own issues, his first question regarding the "immortal realm" also emerged: "What is that (pointing at the glass)? And why is there no lamp oil over there (pointing at the lamp)?"

Fortunately, my response is also quite strong: this is the realm of immortals, and you wouldn't understand even if I told you

Jing Ke placed the sword on the table and then mimicked a thrusting motion as if drawing it from a map. I hurriedly jumped back two meters— I knew that sword was bought by Prince Dan of Yan for a hundred gold pieces from the master swordsmith, Madam Xu, and it was coated with deadly poison. It seemed that Jing Ke and Prince Dan had experimented with this sword; if Jing Ke had been the one wielding it at that moment, then that unfortunate soldier, Armor, might have been the only person he ever killed

As Jing Ke stared at the television and pushed his food to his nose, Baozi quietly said in my ear: "Your friend 'the convenience store' has opened." I looked down from under the table and saw Jing Ke wearing my LEE jeans, sitting with his legs spread apart, mimicking our posture, with his zipper wide open, and his member, neither too short nor too long, peeking out from the opening. I cleared my throat, but he didn't take it to heart at all. Baozi excused himself to get some dishes, and I seized the opportunity to ask Jing Ke: "Brother Jing, is it cool?" He didn't seem to hear what I was saying and pointed at the television, asking: "Are those little people inside raised by you?" I had no choice but to stand up, spread my legs apart, and mimic our posture, with my zipper wide open, and my member, neither too short nor too long, peeking out from the opening. I cleared my throat again, but he still didn't take it to heart. Baozi had gone out under the pretext of getting dishes, and I hurriedly told Jing Ke: "Brother Jing, is it cool?" He still didn't seem to hear me and pointed at the television, asking: "Are those little people inside raised by you?" I had no choice but to stand up and point at my own lower abdomen, saying: "Our custom here is that this cannot be exposed." And the books.

I am very grateful that he did not drape my Adidas over his shoulders like a hero's cloak. It seems that the assassin indeed possesses a remarkable ability to adapt to his environment; he neither expressed curiosity about the transparent glass nor inquired why the ceiling light was not burning oil. Compared to those unsophisticated characters in movies who travel to the modern era, he displayed a gentlemanly demeanor that was incongruous with his identity

Jing Ke, however, did not care about my attitude. He shouted with great excitement: "It turns out it is because I am too short!" Later, I added a sentence before and after this statement and sold it to a company that distributes male enhancement products

Yes, he is indeed Qin Shi Huang

At that moment, the stairs creaked; Baozi had finished work. I hurriedly tossed that set of clothes onto Jing Ke's head and said, "Brother Jing, you change first; I'll come back to discuss the length issue with you in a bit."

Jing Ke was sitting on the ground at that time. Upon seeing that I was about to leave, he looked up at the sky at a 45-degree angle and extended one hand, though I could not discern what he intended to say. I ignored him and, upon exiting the room, I unexpectedly ran into a bun, and I casually closed the door behind me

I exploded with rage: "You son of a bitch, are you crazy? If I had enough time, I would have beaten you to death already!"