Chapter 01: The Immortal Texts of Indulgence

Episode Synopsis

The mysterious and unscrupulous youth, Wang Xiaoliu, dared to steal the celestial artifact of the Shangguan family, thus provoking a scandalous trouble. The young lady of the Shangguan family pursued the thief across a thousand miles, only wishing to reclaim the treasure, but unexpectedly, she ended up losing herself in the process... Amidst the comical escapades, Wang Xiaoliu encountered a treacherous and despicable ancient immortal, obtaining a legendary book of lewdness... Is it a fortuitous encounter? Or a conspiracy? Amidst the comical escapades, Wang Xiaoliu encountered a treacherous and despicable ancient immortal, obtaining a legendary book of lewdness... Is it a fortuitous encounter? Or a conspiracy?

The boy, touching his messy hair, laughed and said, "Aha, I was just joking. What I said earlier was merely sleep talk; you two immortals need not take it to heart. However, I do not want this book, so I kindly ask you two immortals to take it back." The boy recalled a saying from his hometown, ... "No good deed goes unpunished; there is no such thing as a free lunch..." Similarly, he did not believe that the two immortals would specifically give him a cultivation book. He also did not believe that these two individuals were indeed immortals; an immortal who had never heard of Earth must surely be a fraud. (Fraud: a dialect term, similar to 'fake goods,' meaning counterfeit.)

The two immortals exclaimed in shock, pointing at the pink figure ahead and shouted: "Oh, heavens! What is this? Goodness, it's a woman! Ah, we brothers have failed miserably, having given the book to that little beggar, and he tricked us out of two treasures! Hmm, although they are the demon's magical artifacts, they are still artifacts after all!"

Ah! What the hell! A monster? The boy was taken aback, stepping back two paces in panic, yet he did not flee in the opposite direction, as if the creature pursuing him from behind was even more terrifying than these two monsters. "What do you want?"

Over six thousand years ago, during the events of "The Heart Sutra of the Imperial Concubine," our protagonist embarked on his journey through the "Sutra of the Mysterious Woman"

The boy believed that this armor and the Nine-Dragon Blade should belong to the same set of equipment. Regardless of whether it was magical or celestial, its weight was substantial, and it would surely fetch a good price. Without hesitation, he stored the armor in his storage ring and then reluctantly accepted the "Xuan Nu Classic." The boy's hands were empty, and if the immortals were a bit more observant, they would surely notice that his storage ring was also a rare treasure, one that could conceal its contents.

"Are you immortals?" The boy, after hearing this, looked at the two Daoists with uncertainty, glancing left and right, and murmured, "Strange, could it be that the immortal realm is even more chaotic than this planet? Immortals can't survive there, so they come to the mortal world to rob and become bandits? Alas, what bad luck, why was I reincarnated on this broken planet? It would be better to be on Earth..."

The boy felt joy in his heart, yet his face remained sulky as he said to the tree spirit: "Why must I practice with the books? Can't you practice for a few days and deceive that so-called Nine Heavens Mysterious Lady, and then we can just get it over with? Hmm, I believe there must be some kind of conspiracy behind this!"

Upon hearing this, the two immortals immediately panicked, shaking their heads in unison and saying, "No, no, absolutely no conspiracy!"

Do not! I heard that sending books is a task for two people. The boy became even more arrogant, his eyes darting around as if he were contemplating how to gain some advantage. He then threw the book back to the tree spirit and exclaimed, "If you insist on shoving this at me, I might just toss it into the river in an instant. Hmph, the "Xuan Nu Jing" is also known as the "Su Nu Jing"; it clearly details the lewd techniques of seducing women. On the street, you can get as many copies as you want for just two copper coins each. Why would I need these things!"

The two immortals were shouting in anger, and all that could be heard was the boy claiming to be a bandit, but the earth-shattering words that followed were not heard. The Fire Stone Immortal, feeling particularly irate, shouted, "Bah! Look at me, which part of me resembles a bandit? I say again, bah! Even if I were to be a bandit, I wouldn't come to this Red Luan Star, which is surrounded by a twenty-three-layer forbidden barrier set up by the Great Luo Golden Immortal, with a self-important barrier god patrolling within. Here, we can't even exert one-tenth of our power; how could we possibly be here?"

Indeed, how did you all end up here? That is exactly what I wanted to ask! Upon hearing this, the boy's expression became very strange, as if he had encountered a stroke of bad luck. Looking at them, who were as foolish as a pig's head, he felt no fear. First, he sat down on the ground to catch his breath, then habitually turned to glance behind him.

"Bah! I decided this ninety years ago, do I need you, this block of wood, to remind me? Hehe, what consequences will a man face from practicing the 'Xuan Nu Jing'? Will he turn into a ladyboy? Haha, if the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu finds out, she will definitely go mad with rage... Oh? What sound is that?" The giant exclaimed in surprise, interrupting his harsh words to listen to the source of the noise.

The boy's eyes darted around, grinning as he stared at the two flustered immortals, feeling that something was amiss. He no longer believed that these two were immortals, but seeing an opportunity to gain something for nothing, he thought it would be foolish to pass it up. At worst, he could simply ignore that shabby, lewd book. With this in mind, the boy reached out to take the Nine Dragons Blade and swiftly placed it into his spatial ring.

The giant tree laughed heartily: "Hahaha, Spirit Stone Immortal, you’ve waited long enough, perhaps today we might encounter a human girl! Hmm, the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu once said that as long as we hand this book over to a human female, we can return to the Immortal Realm. However, we have already waited for over a hundred years without seeing a single person; we have encountered plenty of monsters instead. Hmm, I have made up my mind, regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, as long as they are human, we will hand over this 'Xuan Nu Classic' to them!" However, we have already waited for over a hundred years without seeing a single person; we have encountered plenty of monsters instead. Hmm, I have made up my mind, regardless of whether it is a man or a woman, as long as they are human, we will hand over this 'Xuan Nu Classic' to them!

The Spirit Stone Immortal did not wish to give the boy a gift, muttering to himself: "Hmph, greedy humans, damned humans, it would be best if they practiced until they died; after all, this book can only be cultivated by women. If a man practices, he would turn into a shemale, right? Haha, damned humans." After muttering for a long time, he finally took out a set of blood-red armor, which also exuded a bloody demonic aura, and reluctantly said: "Here, this was also picked up from the battlefield of the gods and demons... cough, stolen, anyway, it’s all things used by demons, and we immortals cannot use it either, so consider it a bargain for you."

"Men can cry, crying is not a sin; even the strongest have the right to feel weary. If..." As he runs and sings, the boy's voice is intermittent, carrying a hint of "trying to feign sorrow with new lyrics," infused with a touch of childishness and a facade of weariness, the melody possesses a certain infectious quality

Of course! Of course! The Tree Immortal was so delighted that his brows were raised in a smile. Regardless of what he called the extraordinary books of the immortal realm, he pulled the Spirit Stone Immortal, who was distressed about his armor, and ran into the deep mountains without looking back, fearing that the boy might change his mind. "We must return to the immortal realm as well!"

Fiction, oh fiction, this book is that fiction. If there are any similarities, do not ask me, I know nothing.

The cool wind possesses considerable power, blowing down the withered yellow leaves, akin to stripping a young girl of her clothes. The girl moans and struggles, yet cannot escape the ravages of nature's hand. In an instant, the trees become bare, their smooth bodies rendered naked, trembling in the air, whispering in plea.

As he spoke, a small booklet shimmering with golden light appeared in his hand, as thick as a bronze mirror. The pages resembled metal, hard and smooth, seemingly consisting of only two thick covers, with no paper inside that bore any written text. The three seal characters inscribed on it read "Xuan Nu Jing"

A boy dressed in a tattered long robe, resembling a little beggar, hurriedly dashed out from deeper within the forest. The boy, around fourteen or fifteen years old, had a clever and quirky appearance, with long hair disheveled over his shoulders. His pair of dark, large eyes darted around mischievously, occasionally glancing back as if being chased by a tiger

As soon as Shitou finished speaking, he saw a flock of migratory birds flying across the sky, inadvertently dropping a few droppings that landed right on him

"Make way for the people in front! Good dogs do not block the way, and good old men do not block the way either! Damn it, why am I speaking like that little thief again? This is too disrespectful to the elderly, but it does roll off the tongue quite easily." The little girl shouted while running, and although the mountain path was very narrow, she had no intention of slowing down

The two immortals shook their heads and asked in astonishment: "Hmph, of course we recognize it! This script is the official script of our immortal realm, known as seal script. Do you know it? The planet you mentioned is unfamiliar to us. Huh? You know of other planets? Could it be that you do not belong to this Hongluan Star?"

In the hands of the tree spirit appeared a long, enormous sword, nearly as tall as a boy. The blade was blood-red, engraved with intricate carvings of nine dragons. As soon as the sword appeared, a chilling aura of murderous intent emerged, accompanied by a faint scent of blood emanating from the blade

The boy, upon seeing these characters, immediately displayed a look of surprise. He snatched the book, caressed the three large characters on it, and said, "What kind of writing is this? Do you recognize these characters? Have you heard of Earth? Can you send me back to Earth?"

A massive rock opposite the tree emitted a disdainful clicking sound: "Tsk tsk, you come here just as a tree, and you think howling like a wolf will turn you into a beast? Bah! What was I thinking back in the day, betting with the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu, and losing the wager on the fruit of the book, only to be punished to wait for humans in this godforsaken place. Bah again, and now I have to wait for human females; this wretched place doesn't even have a single sow!"

Two immortals were running happily when a pink figure suddenly sprang out from deeper in the mountains, angrily shouting: "Damn that little Liuzi, damn that little thief! If I, Shangguan Taotao, can't catch you, I'll take your surname. Huh, but what is his surname? I've been chasing him for half a year and haven't even asked, how outrageous!"

At this time, the autumn atmosphere is gradually deepening

The two immortals looked at each other, unsure whether the world had changed too rapidly or if they were simply unable to keep up with the times. First, they were deceived by a little boy, and then scolded by a little girl. They had originally intended to find the boy named Xiao Liuzi to retrieve the "Xuan Nu Jing" and present it to the little girl. However, overwhelmed by their anger at humanity's unreasonable behavior, they ended up laughing gleefully, disregarding the potential negative consequences of their actions, and thus departed from the Hong Luan Star.

What an impolite little girl, we are immortals, immortals of the heavenly realm

A tree and a stone exchanged a meaningful glance, simultaneously letting out a strange laugh of "kekek". Just before the boy arrived, they suddenly sprang out from both sides of the mountain path and shouted in unison: "Halt!"

Deep within the mysterious Longgu Mountains, there stands a great tree that has not shed a single leaf. It cries out to the heavens: "Ah woo—gods and Buddhas of all realms, please manifest your presence. Hurry and let humans pass through here. I have been waiting for one hundred and twenty years, and if no one comes soon, I will soon become just a great tree."

However, the boy still did not take the "Xuan Nu Jing" but instead stared directly at the Spirit Stone Immortal. It was clear that the boy was waiting for his gift. That expression conveyed that without a gift, he would not consider accepting that lewd book

A tree and a stone burst into hearty laughter, and with a shake of their bodies, they transformed into two figures, one plump and the other thin, adorned in feathered crowns and flowing robes, exuding a hint of celestial aura, yet more so displaying a dazed surprise as they stared at the boy, drooling like starving wild dogs that had not eaten for a hundred years upon seeing a piece of meat. The tree spirit laughed heartily and said: "Haha, we are neither 'thirsty' nor 'monsters', we are..." He struck a cool pose with the spirit stone and simultaneously declared: "We are... the immortals of the celestial realm!"

In the years of the Peacock Dynasty, on the Eastern Continent, various feudal lords rose to power, and the flames of war spread incessantly

At this moment, the boy nervously glanced back and said with a grin, "Gentlemen, I have collected the lewd books; may I take my leave now?"

"No, you must take it; otherwise, how can we report to the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu!" The Spirit Stone Immortal, upon hearing that he did not want this book, was instantly enraged and moved before him like lightning, lifting the boy off the ground. "Today, you must take it, whether you want to or not, do you understand?"

The tree spirit took the book, cradling it like a treasure in his arms, and hurriedly ran towards the boy, urging the spirit of the stone to be gentle and not to scare away the first human to pass through this place in over a hundred years. He smiled and said: "Young man, although the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu and the Nine Heavens Su Nu are different incarnations of the same immortal, these two books are worlds apart. How can those deceptive human books compare to the power of immortal arts? Well, let me put it this way: if you accept this book and practice it casually for a few days, you will be doing us a great favor, and each of us will give you a gift, how about that?" He smiled and said: "Young man, although the Nine Heavens Xuan Nu and the Nine Heavens Su Nu are different incarnations of the same immortal, these two books are worlds apart. How can those deceptive human books compare to the power of immortal arts? Well, let me put it this way: if you accept this book and practice it casually for a few days, you will be doing us a great favor, and each of us will give you a gift, how about that?"

The tree spirit smiled kindly and said: "Alas, this book can only be opened by humans. If we could practice, we wouldn't have to wait here for one hundred and twenty years. Ahem... Well, I see that you humans are in turmoil, so let me gift you a precious sword for self-defense! This sword is called the Nine Dragons Sword, which I picked up on the battlefield during the war between gods and demons tens of thousands of years ago... Oh no, I mean I took it." This sword is called the Nine Dragons Sword, which I picked up on the battlefield during the war between gods and demons tens of thousands of years ago... Oh no, I mean I took it.

Hmph, if you are immortals, then I am the Creator Goddess, now step aside! The pink-haired girl flew past the two immortals like a swallow, continuing to run without looking back

The tree spirit gently tugged at the sleeve of the spirit of the Lingshi, reminding him not to leak the secrets of the celestial realm, and smiled kindly: "This young man, we are truly not bandits, I assure you... uh, actually, we want to give you something. This book, 'The Scripture of the Mysterious Maiden,' is a rare treasure of the celestial realm. A human can ascend to the heavens in broad daylight after a hundred years of cultivation. This is a celestial treasure that can only be cultivated by the disciples of the Mysterious Maiden of the Nine Heavens."