four
How can one take appearances seriously? At this moment, I, dressed in plain attire, also appear to be a pure white girl
Indeed. So you all went out to seek your own pleasures
Where is Dad? I asked lazily
The television was turned on, and the startup advertisement for digital television featured the same chubby man speaking in an indescribable tone, saying "Where is the best place to eat boiled fish ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ".
"Yuan Yuan must know that you miss her very much." I replied obediently, but inwardly I sarcastically thought, I am not fortunate enough, nor do I care to be your daughter. Indeed, he is quite a successful businessman, speaking in a way that skillfully avoids the main point and is thoroughly smooth.
In fact, my father is not an official from the drug regulatory agency; he is merely a small employee who constantly changes jobs and is forever unstable. Unable to tolerate my mother's blatant infidelity yet feeling helpless, he simply stays away from home all day. I always feel that he probably doesn't even know that I am already in high school
The phone was hung up decisively. I felt completely drained of energy, and my dizziness intensified. I lay down on the bed again, curling my knees tightly against my forehead, wrapping myself into a cocoon-like position
I casually tied my disheveled hair into a ponytail with a pure black hair tie. The lingering essence of last night's revelry remained in my hair, filled with the scent of smoke and alcohol. I am not worried about my mother finding out; I have long been accustomed to her indifference towards me.
The warmth of our skin against each other, yet it made me feel cold. I forcefully brushed her hand away. Her expression changed slightly, but she did not show any signs of anger: "Uncle Fu and I are waiting for you in the living room, hurry up and change your clothes"
I smiled coldly, and then heard the phone ringing in a corner of the room. Due to the distance within the space, the song that served as the specific ringtone was somewhat faint, but still loud enough for me to know that it was a call from my esteemed mother.
With a deep cold smile, I walked out of the bathroom and followed the sound to find the phone buried under the blanket on the bed, and I answered the call
Indeed, the way I usually present myself, how warm and harmonious my family is, how much my father cherishes and loves me, and how close I am with my mother, as if we are sisters sharing our hearts, even discussing the boy I like, is nothing but a lie on my part
Although my mother is quite well-maintained, to be honest, it is better for women of her age not to wear such bright and attention-grabbing colors
"Whatever you say, you are the main character. Or we can see where my mother likes to go," I said.
I admit that I am deliberately dressing up as a good girl to win my mother's favor, while also showcasing a virtuous image in front of her friends, or more precisely, her lovers
It is said that the fetus assumes such a posture in the mother's womb, which allows it to feel warmth and safety. However, why does my heart still feel so cold
The relationships between people, whether close or distant, are indeed very strange. Family, bound by blood, sometimes does not understand you as well as good friends do, and even may not value or care for you as much as good friends. Is it because they believe that blood ties are unbreakable? However, while blood ties may be unbreakable, the heart can grow cold, numb, and even die.
Let us go. I walked towards the door, silently reciting that an early death leads to an early rebirth, hoping to finish this meal quickly so that I could be free and liberated
Home
Every time I see him, I want to blacken his face, silence his vocal cords, and snatch the phone from his hand to crush it under that car. Initially, I intended to create some noise to alleviate the suffocating silence in the house, but I was completely defeated by the invincible, loud startup sound. I forcefully turned off the television
But don't say that, even so, during the New Year and festivals, when visiting relatives, they appear to be even more affectionate than any couple.
I lifted my head and looked at my face in the mirror, which clearly showed signs of a hangover. My complexion was slightly pale, dark circles were prominent, and there were fine red veins in the whites of my eyes. My bangs also needed to be trimmed to look stylish. If it weren't for having a "home," I might be no different from those homeless orphans on the street
How would I know him? He is probably off tinkering with that business of his, trying to make a little bit of money. She walked in, grasped my wrist, and pulled me up from my curled position. "What time is it? Still lying in bed, what are you doing?"
As I tossed my phone into my bag, I walked into the living room. My mother was not in the living room, probably off changing clothes and putting on makeup. Fu Wenxing was sitting on the sofa, sipping tea and smiling at me, exuding a somewhat paternal demeanor: "Xiao Ai, where do you like to eat?"
What a three-dimensional and clear boundary, it is a world that cannot be entered
In fact, the man who accompanies my mother every day is not my father
Opening my eyes, I saw that the clock on the wall directly opposite the bed pointed to the five o'clock mark in the afternoon. I lifted the thin blanket and sat up. After a hangover, my head was indeed aching as usual. A slight shake of my head also brought about a sense of heaviness and dizziness
There was no room for negotiation in her words: "Today is Uncle Fu's birthday, and I specifically invited you to dinner"
Please treat me to a meal. Hmph. How very polite. But I am well aware that even if I do not want to go, I must certainly attend in order to please my mother
But what does it have to do with me? Compared to the matter of "Mother wearing overly youthful clothing," isn't it even more ridiculous to be "carrying my father while accompanying my mother to celebrate her lover's birthday"?
Where are you
The family I am familiar with consists of parents who are often not at home, each leading their own separate lives
I do not know if she noticed the white bandage around my wrist the day after I attempted suicide. Or perhaps she did notice, but simply did not care. Just as she does not care about my father. Just as she does not care about this family. Just as the three of us have long since become accustomed to this way of life.
Walking to the bathroom, I turned on the faucet, and warm water gathered between my cupped hands before I forcefully splashed it onto my face. The temples were caressed by the warm water, and the feeling of dizziness became more pronounced, accompanied by a strangely comforting sensation
Otherwise, she could really leave me at home to starve. I certainly do not want to resort to selling myself
I always feel that you resemble Yuanyuan. Perhaps feeling a bit awkward just sitting there, he started talking to me about his daughter who is currently studying in the United States. After her mother passed away, I sent her to study in the U.S., and I haven't spent much time with her, so I always feel that you are like my daughter
My mother walked into the living room. As expected, she had changed her clothes, transforming her originally moon-white outfit into a water-blue dress
"Xiao Ai, you will have dinner with us." The voice of my mother, transmitted through the waves, sounded somewhat distorted
Cheng Tianai, summoned indeed. I sneered coldly at myself in the mirror
The door to the room was pushed open, and I looked up to see my mother standing by the door: "It's too quiet; I thought no one was home. This house has no liveliness at all."
Without makeup, I removed all my earrings, necklaces, and bracelets, and did not consider any clothing with even a hint of rich color. In the end, I chose a pure white T-shirt and deep blue jeans. Smiling at myself in the mirror, I said, "Cheng Tianai, you really are quite plain"
We are one; you are merely another person.
I habitually make excuses: "You all go ahead and eat, I have already made plans with someone."
Thus, they had long taught me that everything can be made to resemble something real, and most people would believe it to be true.
We