Chapter 4, Devoting Oneself (Part 2)

"What to do?" Chi Xiaoying was puzzled

It was during a moment of washing dishes that my father resolutely embarked on the path to the underworld, bringing everything to a conclusion, free from all worries

Yan Nannan chuckled softly, "Why not just make love?"

Not long after, Xuan Xiao and Bai Yuan both graduated. Bai Yuan passed the civil service exam for the Urban Construction Bureau and became a junior clerk. Xuan Xiao, on the other hand, took the initiative to join a construction company. He spent three years working while obtaining various construction certificates. Subsequently, he and a friend established the current Xuan Xiao Studio, but that is a story for another time

In the narrow space, the two individuals are close enough that a slight lean forward allows them to sense each other's breath

However, she did not dare to voice her refusal, as it seemed that doing so would be particularly, particularly disrespectful to Xuan Xiao

Her gratitude towards Xuan Xiao is like an invisible rope, tightly binding her, rendering her unable to move

She turned around, reached out her hand, and touched the tears on Chi Xiaoying's face

During the eleven-day holiday, Yan Nannan went to Baiyuan Apartment to enjoy a world for two, while the other classmates returned home. Her mother was taken to the countryside by an aunt for some relaxation, and Chi Xiaoying stayed at school.

Bai Yuan, Yan Nannan, and Xuan Xiao have all arrived

Xuan Xiao said that this matter did not truly help at all, and she did not need it this way. She shook her head vigorously, saying it helped, it helped, at least her father left home with dignity

The Urban Construction Bureau is not far from the College of Engineering. As soon as the weekend arrives, Bai Yuan rushes over here. When Yan Nannan sees him, it is like a newlywed couple reuniting after a long separation, their affection making one blush. Chi Xiaoying and the other classmates in the dormitory can only shyly retreat.

Bai Yuan is very gentle and considerate, a rare man with such emotional delicacy. He even remembers Yan Nannan's menstrual cycle clearly, and during those days, he always thoughtfully brings over some nourishing food.

Mother cried in a daze, unable to take care of herself, relying entirely on a few aunts for support

The Chi family reported that the father passed away due to a sudden heart attack, rather than suicide. However, Dean Xuan was still somewhat implicated in this matter; although it did not affect his position, he received some form of warning sanction.

Chi Xiaoying and a group of classmates had not thought that far ahead, spending each day only focused on studying, living in a daze

At the beginning of the second semester of his junior year, Bai Yuan began to seek help from various sources, striving to keep Yan Nannan in Binjiang City.

She hesitated for a moment, understanding that if she were to step forward, something might happen. She was not a stubborn and reactionary individual, rigidly adhering to any dogma. It was just that there were certain things that Yan Nannan and Bai Yuan could do, which she and Xuan Xiao could not.

Which one is your bed, I have been on the road for several hours and I am a bit tired

He quickly removed his clothes, their skin pressed together, and both of them shivered intensely.

Xuan Xiao's deep gaze darkened, her slender fingers shedding her garments, as she trembled beneath him like a naked infant

When he struggled to break through her steadfast barrier, she cried

"Come here and talk to me," Xuan Xiao said to her, who was feeling nervous and uneasy, with a smile.

Xuan Xiao found it truly amusing yet exasperating to see her like this

Xuan Xiao feels pity for her, sympathizes with her, and is her benefactor

Occasionally, Bai Yuan would come to the dormitory to visit Yan Nannan, and Xuan Xiao would also come along. The four of them would watch movies together and enjoy street food.

In the darkness, Chi Xiaoying made not a sound

Xuan Xiao glanced at her deeply and said nothing more

The small pond grew overnight, and the father's funeral was entirely managed by her alone, from the cremation to the burial.

Chi Xiaoying hurriedly sorted out the books and clothes from the bed, and in the process, a few girls' bras fell to the floor, leaving her so embarrassed that she felt as if her breath had stopped

"Heavens, are you not afraid of getting pregnant?" Chi Xiaoying stammered.

The second trial upheld the original verdict. With the assistance of the presiding judge, my father is under house arrest at home

The two individuals would dine outside, stroll around the campus, and whenever they encountered an appealing film, they would go watch a movie together. Each time, Chi Xiaoying would always insist on paying, as she believed that doing so made her feel somewhat better.

She no longer dared to owe Xuanxiao anything

Outside, lightning flashes and thunder rumbles, with torrential rain pouring down like columns. The world is shrouded in darkness, while the girls and boys in the neighboring dormitory are playing cards, their laughter ringing out loudly

She timidly sat down by the bed, and Xuan Xiao embraced her, pulling her into his arms. She saw Xuan Xiao's handsome face twitching, his breathing becoming heavier, as his burning lips began to move down from her lips, while simultaneously placing her hand between his legs

I know you want to date Xuan Xiao," Yan Nannan said understandingly as she hugged her, "You, silly, Bai Yuan said that you are the first girl Xuan Xiao has gone on a date with. If you are not a couple, could you be siblings?

Upon hearing this, Chi Xiaoying felt that she truly owed too much to the Xuanxiao family, an amount that could not be repaid with money, nor could it be expressed with words

Nowhere to go, Xuan Xiao and she returned to the dormitory, listened to music, and chatted.

It was a bleak period, the weather was cold, and the heart was cold as well. My mother cried to the point of near madness, blaming herself for allowing my father to visit my uncle that day. She believed that if she hadn't, my father would still be alive and well, respected by others, and they would be living in love and harmony, rather than lying there cold and motionless.

Xuan Xiao smiled as she picked it up for her, took off her shoes, and lay down on the bed

Everything seemed calm, who would have thought that the father, with his noble spirit, could not untie the knot in his heart and truly could not face such a reality. On a winter night, he told his mother that he was going out for a walk. His mother asked him to wait for her to finish washing the dishes so she could accompany him downstairs, but he said he would wait for her downstairs

Xuan Xiao has arrived, and I found her in the library. The two of us had lunch in the college cafeteria. After finishing the meal, the weather suddenly changed, and it started to pour down with heavy rain incessantly.

Construction projects of the company are usually located in remote areas, and it is rare for Xuan Xiao to return. Whenever he comes back, he always visits Chi Xiaoying, his face tanned and his body seemingly sturdier than before

In the first year of university, the academic workload is still quite heavy, and coupled with the matter concerning her father, Chi Xiaoying always has a hint of melancholy at the corners of her smile. Xuan Xiao speaks very little, but with Bai Yuan and Yan Nannan to liven up the atmosphere, there is never a moment of silence.

Yan Nannan nodded slightly, her eyes sparkling, "Yes, it was very painful at first, but later it became wonderful"

She felt his toughness, his outburst, his forbearance; for the first time, she realized how vast the difference between men and women was. She wanted to escape, to struggle, to push him away

Goodbye, Xuan Xiao. She felt so guilty that she could not even raise her head in front of him

No, it is not permissible. You must repay this man; you owe him too much. Only when you have repaid enough, and no longer owe him anything, will you have the right to live for yourself. A voice within her sighed.

Chi Xiaoying blushed deeply, pushing her away, "What nonsense are you talking about? Xuan Xiao and I are not in a romantic relationship, what about you and Bai Yuan... did something happen?" Her heart trembled.

I... I..." Chi Xiaoying stammered, unsure of what to say.

She squeezed onto Chi Xiaoying's bed, leaned close to her ear, and whispered, "Xiaoying, did you and Xuan Xiao do it?"

During the all-night vigil, Xuan Xiao kept her company, the two of them sharing a cotton coat. He held her hand, continuously rubbing it for warmth, as her hand was as cold as ice.

We have taken measures, Bai Yuan... he cares for me a lot. Yan Nannan closed her eyes, her voice languid

He thought she was in pain, gently kissing her and soothing her, unaware that at that moment, someone had already taken residence in her heart

They are not lovers and have neither the reason nor the right to do so

Neither of the two individuals was eloquent; after exchanging a few words, they fell silent, staring at each other in a daze. Xuan Xiao's cool and clear eyes gradually became fervent.

On Sunday night, Yan Nannan returned to her dormitory only after midnight, sitting alone on her bed and laughing foolishly. Chi Xiaoying felt a chill run down her spine and asked her what was wrong.

How could she possibly be worthy of Xuan Xiao