Chapter Eight, The Sword of Longing, The Heartbroken.

Is he leaving? Where is he going

He spoke to himself about the capital city, where the scenery is beautiful, the food is delicious, the theaters are lively, and the acrobatics are captivating. His voice was very gentle, softly echoing in my ears, reminiscent of the tender care my master showed me when lulling me to sleep as a child. My heart gradually calmed down significantly, yet there was one place that continued to ache faintly, as if a piece had been carved out.

The night is faint, and the moon is dim. I gaze out the window and let out a soft sigh, wishing that at this moment, a figure outside could gently ask me: "Xiao Mo, are you still awake?"

After a moment's effort, Brother Zhao hurriedly ran over, thrusting a piece of paper into Jiang Chen's hand, saying: "The master asked me to buy vegetables, you take this to him."

He was holding a bundle in his hand, his breath slightly hurried, as if he had just returned from a long journey. I found it somewhat strange. He placed the bundle on the table and opened it, revealing layers upon layers, and inside was surprisingly a food box. Even through the lid, I could smell the enticing aroma. He opened the lid and took out several dishes from the food box, which turned out to be some famous dishes from the city's renowned restaurant.

"This path can only be taken by you, can't I?" He looked around, enjoying the scenery

The sun is truly dazzling

Xiao Mo, what is wrong with you

Such affection is unique and singular

This life is truly unbearable

Thus, I was cooped up in the room, copying the Heavy Mountain Sword Technique in reverse. Xiao He Bao had never seen me so diligently writing, and curiously asked what I was writing

I gazed at the warm dishes on the table, speechless, as a wave of warmth and emotion gradually surged within me. Setting aside the matter of my engagement with him, in terms of our brother-sister relationship, he has always treated me quite well. This gesture of his truly touches the heart; well, I will just consider that kiss of his as if I had been bitten by a large mosquito.

He only mentioned that he had urgent matters to attend to and did not specify where he was going

The moment I saw him, I felt as if autumn waters had frozen into ice. That day, in my feverish confusion, he unexpectedly kissed me! A gentleman does not leave a grudge unavenged, yet I pondered for several days on how to retaliate, but to no avail. Surely, I cannot simply kiss him back to reclaim my dignity? With no avenue for revenge, I could only resort to a killing gaze.

At the tip of my heart, I am momentarily bewildered, is it? Or is it not?

Moreover, I always feel that being with a man who is exceptionally handsome, while pleasing to the eye, does not contribute to longevity. This is because there are too many admirers, causing endless worry and trouble. Especially someone like Jiang Chen, with his flirtatious nature and bright eyes that sparkle like fireworks when he looks at others. In the future, if I do not fend off his admirers, I might end up wearing a green hat, but if I do try to fend them off, it would make me seem narrow-minded, petty, and jealous. This situation presents a dilemma. Especially someone like Jiang Chen, with his flirtatious nature and bright eyes that sparkle like fireworks when he looks at others. In the future, if I do not fend off his admirers, I might end up wearing a green hat, but if I do try to fend them off, it would make me seem narrow-minded, petty, and jealous. This situation presents a dilemma.

You placed it under the pillow, and I casually flipped through it while making the bed

He gathered my hair by my ear with his fingers, I stiffened my body, feeling extremely uncomfortable with his touch, yet I dared not move, fearing that any movement would cause the towel to fall, revealing that I had been crying.

I weakly declined the kind offer of my seventh master uncle, holding onto the blanket in a state of deep sorrow

Brother Zhao said: "I heard that you are going to Fujian, where the Japanese are rampant. Brother Yun has studied martial arts at the Xiaoyao Sect for several years, and it is just the right time to assist his father in serving the court."

I did not answer

Color | Color, where are you going?

He said softly, "Xiao Mo, when you are better, I will take you home. Mother has written saying she misses you very much. You haven't been to the capital yet, have you? I will take you around to relax, how about that?"

I am speechless

What happened

I turned around and made a gritting teeth expression: "If you call me lewd again, be careful, I might just act on it!"

Suddenly, a voice came from outside the door: "Xiao He Bao, is Jiang Chen here?"

He seemed to lean down, and that soft and warm whisper of "Is it?" was so close to my ear, clear as can be, like a spring breeze brushing past, the willows just turning yellow, and the dragonflies lightly touching the tips of the small lotus leaves

I felt the edge of the bed sink slightly, and then a cool hand covered my forehead. I couldn't help but shiver a little. He knew I wasn't asleep, so he leaned down and said, "Xiao Mo, what would you like to eat?"

I remain perplexed, is it? Or is it not?

I gently opened it, and on the red velvet lay a dagger

Xiao Mo, do you know that I like you very much

I want to laugh, but in front of Jiang Chen, it is truly embarrassing, so I lower my head, hold my chin, and suppress it.

I returned to my room in a daze, and unexpectedly fell ill in the middle of the night, suddenly developing a fierce fever.

The vast mountain gate stands open, and in the distance, I see a white figure on the mountain path, a black steed galloping swiftly, racing down the mountain path towards the official road.

Senior Brother Zhao said anxiously: "He Xiaole has diarrhea, I will go get some tissue."

He raised his chin, exuding an air of confidence, completely unafraid: "This great hero fears nothing, feel free to come at me with all you've got"

Suddenly, a masculine presence rushed towards my face, warm and moist against my lips.

The little pouch nodded in agreement and said: "Miss, you should copy the Buddhist scriptures to express gratitude to the Bodhisattva, for you are fortunate to marry Young Master Jiang!"

The small pouch hurriedly handed over a handkerchief, which I pressed against my face, too afraid to take it down. The handkerchief absorbed water, damp and sticking to my face, like a butterfly with wet wings, unable to fly far away again

A short bluestone path lies between him and me, yet it seems to be separated by thousands of miles of floating clouds; I am in the dust, while he is in the clouds.

Impressive, I casually flipped to the section on mandarin ducks playing in the water. It seems I need to change my habit of putting everything under my pillow. Fortunately, I have moved that heavy Mountain Sword Manual into my boots. However, it is still not safe; what if a mouse eats it

I hurriedly ran next door

He is simply not suitable for me; he is not a bad person. In fact, I do like him, just as I like He Xiaole, just as I like my master. However, this kind of liking is not the same as that kind of liking. That kind of liking is a heart-stirring sensation, it is the fear of gain and loss, it is the feeling that resides between the brows and the heart, it is the realm of heaven and earth, it is searching for him a thousand times in the crowd, it is envying the mandarin ducks but not the immortals

Tears poured down like rain, I wiped them away again and again, yet I could no longer see him. I want to ask him that one question, will there be another chance in this life to ask him?

He gently turned my body over. Fortunately, my eyes were covered by a towel, so he could not see the traces of my tears.

My heart thumped as if it had exploded, and I immediately attempted to sit up with a sudden flip. The towel shifted and slid down from my forehead, and I was just about to raise my hand to cover it

Little pouch sighed with melancholy: "Alas, I have a fever and a cough. Son-in-law, please watch over the young lady for a moment while I go prepare the medicine"

Brother Zhao handed over a small box and said, "This is a congratulatory gift he sent to Jiang Chen, congratulating you on your engagement"

Jiang Chen suddenly reached out and lifted my chin, smiling as he said: "Xiao Mo, one must enjoy life to the fullest when things are going well, do not hold back"

Where is Senior Brother Yun going

The young master is not here. The young lady is inside copying Buddhist scriptures

Are you leaving

I quickly wiped away a tear and then coughed a few times in succession

I am increasingly at a loss for words, looking up at the sky

The mountain wind is fierce, like the sound of waves faintly howling in my ears, and my heart is like a turbulent sea, with angry waves crashing against the shore, stirring up a thousand piles of snow, leaving behind only regrets, as I face a thousand sails.

His voice was somewhat hoarse as he said, "Yes, my father sent a letter last month. There has been something weighing on my mind that I have been unable to resolve, and I have been putting it off."

One hand steadily pressed down on the towel, still securely covering my eyes

After Yunzhou returned from Tai'an, he became even more withdrawn, as if he had become invisible. Every time I think of him, it feels as though a fishbone is stuck in my throat, leaving me with an indescribable discomfort.

Why are there no wings to be born, why is there no delicate heart to be born, why is there no courage to bear a thousand burdens, why is the road so long

I slowly removed the towel from my face and extinguished the candle in front of the bed

I shook my head, barely stopping myself from burying my face in the pillow to prevent him from seeing the traces of tears on my face

He silently nodded, silently gazing at me; it seemed as if it was the first time he had looked into my eyes for such a long time, with such earnestness and such profound depth in his gaze

The little pouch is still cheering on the side: "The young master is so handsome, keep it up, keep it up!"

I returned to my room, closed the door, and sat in silence, with the box he sent me beside my hand

I never dreamed he would say such a thing, and I was taken aback, immediately trying to retract my hand instinctively, but he held my hand even tighter

He smiled gently and softly called out "Xiao Mo"

Jiang Chen came out of my room in disarray early in the morning, witnessed by everyone present. My master personally acted as a matchmaker for me, and he also heard it with his own ears

The master was taken aback: "What happened?"

I arranged to meet him at the small bridge, and he came under the moonlight, only to attend a matchmaking event that I personally organized for him. He, feeling disheartened, asked me a question and then left in sorrow

Suddenly, a warm towel was gently placed on my face, covering my forehead and eyelids. My swollen eyelids immediately felt much more comfortable

At first, I thought she was cheering me on, but later, every time Jiang Chen won, she would jump up and cheer, and I understood.

Senior Brother He Xiaole's internal strength has become increasingly profound

I reluctantly glanced at myself in the mirror; my once round face has now become an oval shape. My eyes have always been large, and now it seems as if my entire face is just a pair of eyes. Xiao He Bao remarked that my eyes are sparkling, yet little does she know that my heart has already been submerged in an ocean of sorrow

I weakly asked, "Has he left?"

The first two sentences sounded relatively pleasant to me, but the last sentence made me feel as if he was implying that I am a Pixiu or a Jin Chan. I shot him a glare; could it be that he likes me simply because I have a prosperous appearance? Could it be that the few confessions I heard him say to me a few days ago were merely a figment of my imagination due to my fever?

What happened to Little Pouch?

The cave is deep and secluded, with echoes lingering. This call is truly both * * and startling. As I shouted "No!" loudly, I quickly put on my clothes.

I am at a loss for words. Could it be that even the small purse thinks I am overreaching? Am I truly destined to be like a thousand-year-old dung?

A thousand words were stuck in my throat, and for a moment, I couldn't utter even half a word. I could only look at him, my heart feeling as if it were tightly gripped by a hand, squeezed and held, causing a dull ache.

After Master Qi visited me, he said: "Xiao Mo, summer has arrived, it is fine to eat a little less, as it makes your clothing look better. If you really can't bear it, I will impart some internal energy to you."

I am both angry and amused, and I slapped his hand away

He has just left

He gently pressed me back down onto the bed, slowly moved the towel up a bit, and said softly: "Whether you like someone or not, it takes time, doesn't it?"

A distant and powerful long howl came from the toilet on the hillside: "Ye Bai, hurry up."

I hurriedly opened the door and stepped outside

He sighed silently and murmured to himself, "You haven't been ill for a long time; the last time I remember was during the snowfall last year"

He lowered his eyelids, rubbed his brow with his fingers, and said softly: "Yes, the sunlight is quite dazzling"

My steps felt a bit unsteady as I walked slowly towards him, his face coming closer and closer to me. I exerted a great deal of effort just to lift the corners of my lips. I could not see my own expression at that moment, and I did not know if I was smiling.

A pang struck my heart; why did he not come to bid me farewell? Could it be that he regards me as Jiang Chen's consort, and from now on will treat me with indifference and distance?

My fingers seemed to have no strength at all, feeling faintly connected in my hand, and my heart sank suddenly

Upon arriving at the Immortal Cave, Xiao He Bao stood at the entrance as usual to keep watch for me. I had just taken off my clothes and was soaking in the water when I heard a familiar voice at the entrance: "Xiao Mo, now that we are a couple, may I take advantage of your good fortune and join you for a soak?"

I do not know how long I stood before the mountain gate, as the fierce wind pierced through my clothing. As dusk gradually fell, obscuring the mountain path, I finally found my master in a daze.

I wiped away a tear and urgently asked, "Brother Yang, where is Yunzhou?"

I, I am afraid, withdraw

The little pouch exclaimed: "Miss, you are truly very ill; your cough has brought tears to your eyes."

I picked it up and gently pulled it apart; indeed, it was identical. The only difference was that a small character, "Si," was engraved on the dagger.

Yet, even though I am naive and dull-witted, why does he, a person of exceptional intelligence, not come to ask me directly? How can I be at peace with such a missed opportunity

I did not make a sound that time when he was hunting wild chickens in the snow. After he roasted them, he called me over. I sat around the campfire, eagerly finished eating, and then caught a chill on my way back.

A flash of light and shadow appeared before the door, and Jiang Chen, dressed in white, gracefully walked in with a light and agile demeanor: "Is it that Xiao Mo has been longing for me, gazing longingly through the autumn waters?"

No one understands my pain, and I am even less able to confide in anyone. Tears fall like a torrent, as if a dam has burst, while my heart is never at rest. What were once vague and understated scenes from the past now vividly present themselves, each fragment emerging in bold strokes, those flowers in the mist and the moon in the water becoming painfully clear.

On the way down the mountain, I quietly asked Xiao Hebao, "How did you see my manuscript?"

When I think of the future with him, and then of the past with Yunzhou, my thoughts become chaotic, and my heart feels like it is being torn apart. A thought surges within me, roaring and crashing like a tempest, yet when I face him, I find it difficult to express, for I do not wish to hurt him

Jiang Chen helplessly took the toilet paper and headed towards the outhouse

I did not follow you

I returned to the room, closed the door, and began to ponder how to secure this sword manual. After thinking for a long time, I came up with a good idea

I am packing up and will leave shortly

That night, I stood before him, the faint scent of wine carried by the western wind still lingering in the air. I said to him, "Brother, please don't take it seriously, I was just speaking casually, you can consider it as my nonsense."

I feel like a puppet that has been endowed with spirit by his call, finally able to speak out.

He released his hand. A moment later, I heard a faint sound from the door, followed by a profound silence enveloping the room

I stared at him in a daze; he was truly handsome, with a striking appearance that was pleasing to the eye, yet I could not see through his heart. I have never liked to worry, nor do I wish to expend great effort in guessing others' thoughts. I wish that the other party would speak plainly, with every word coming from the heart, laid out before me, clear and unambiguous. I like Yunzhou, and a large part of the reason is that although he speaks little, every word he says is sincere, which inspires trust. In contrast, Jiang Chen's words are often shrouded in ambiguity, requiring careful unraveling to discern whether what lies within is a butterfly or a moth. I like Yunzhou, and a large part of the reason is that although he speaks little, every word he says is sincere, which inspires trust. In contrast, Jiang Chen's words are often shrouded in ambiguity, requiring careful unraveling to discern whether what lies within is a butterfly or a moth.

On the morning of the third day, as Xiaohubao was combing my hair, she looked at me in the bronze mirror and sighed, "No wonder there is a saying about the sick Xi Shi; with this illness, Miss looks even more beautiful. Her eyes are sparkling, like the autumn waters rippling."

I gifted Jiang Chen a golden lock, and everyone said it was a token of love. I sent Jiang Chen tears of longing, yet what I sent him was akin to what Wang Lun gave to Li Bai; everyone knows that the poem speaks of friendship

I pulled open the door and dashed outside

Is it true? Tears are streaming out, almost obscuring my vision. My heart is racing, nearly jumping out of my chest

I was taken aback, yes, his father is the military governor of Fujian, it is only natural for him to go there, it is just a matter of time

The last glimmer of hope in my heart has been extinguished. If he had a clear destination, I would spare no effort to seek him out, but he has resolutely come to this point, leaving even the direction of his departure unmentioned. He has always been proud and noble; what kind of pain and disappointment must he have endured to be so utterly resolute and decisive

Master, where has he gone? Please tell me.

This illness comes quickly and departs just as swiftly. By the next morning, the fever had subsided, yet I had no appetite whatsoever, having consumed only two bowls of millet porridge over the course of two days. My master recalled how I would become listless and withered if I missed a meal, fearing that I might suffer some serious consequence from hunger, causing him to become quite agitated.

Senior Brother Yun is leaving and asked me to deliver this item to Jiang Chen. I searched all around but couldn't find him. Please have Xiao Mo give it to her later.

He looked at me earnestly, with a gaze filled with pity and concern, and gently said: "Xiao Mo, please don't lose any more weight. I love your round little face the most, especially with those two cute dimples; it's truly beautiful and adorable. It brings good fortune, yes, and also wealth."

I turned around and ran towards the mountain gate

I finally freed myself from the plaster and hurriedly left the mountain path, heading towards the hot springs in the back mountain

I will copy this book in reverse, then cover it with a book jacket, and place it among a pile of notebooks, so that it does not stand out. Even if someone accidentally flips through it, they will not discern any secrets.

Then why are you walking behind me

Master, where has Yunzhou gone

He also specially sent a congratulatory gift to Jiang Chen. I smiled wryly as I placed the box on the table and walked dazedly to the front yard

Several senior brothers came out of his room, and he stood in the corridor, smiling and cupping his hands in farewell

Xiao Mo, I know you may not necessarily like me, but it is enough that I like you. One day, you will also like me, won't you

He is unlikely to return. Having reached the age of twenty, it is time for him to step out and accomplish great things. His father has high hopes for him, so how could he remain confined within the confines of the Leisure Gate?

Upon returning to the Xiaoyao Sect, everyone changed their address for me; they either called me sister-in-law or younger sister. My face, which had been burning hot, gradually turned to a warm heat, then to a slight warmth, and later became calm and unperturbed, resigned to the situation. I experienced the feelings of Yunzhou on that day when I relentlessly called him brother.

Do not follow me

The little pouch looked at me with disdain: "Miss, you are truly a case of loving the dragon in name only. Haven't you always been fixated on that section in the story about the mandarin ducks playing in the water? The young master is really about to enter, yet you rush out instead. What a great opportunity, truly!"

His fingers glided across my jaw, and I couldn't help but shiver slightly. If it were any other time, I would have jumped up to confront him, but at this moment, I felt a sense of profound sorrow, as if my heart had died, allowing him to take liberties with me twice. Well, when I snatched the small golden lock, I inadvertently touched him twice as well, so I suppose that makes us even.

After enduring my tears for a while, I ultimately could not hold them back and they fell in streams.

A thought crossed my mind, how is this dagger exactly the same as mine?

The little pouch murmured in my ear: "Miss, your illness is truly inexplicable. Did you perhaps hear today that your fiancé is going to join you in the hot spring, and were you startled?"

I rushed out of the fairy cave in a state of panic, my hair still dripping with water

However, Jiang Chen seemed to have transformed into a different person, sticking to me like a plaster. He insisted on practicing swordsmanship together and sparring with me. Naturally, I was no match for him, losing every time without exception. As I watched him win with remarkable prowess, looking elegant and impressive, I felt increasingly defeated.

My face feels a bit hot, but fortunately, I have my eyes covered and cannot see his face, which prevents it from becoming too awkward. This is the first time someone has confessed their love to me, but unfortunately, it is not Yunzhou. The pain and bitterness in my heart grow stronger, and my eyes begin to feel dry again.

I replied: "Copying Buddhist scriptures"

It is Jiang Chen's voice. Thinking of the repeated misunderstandings between Yun Zhou and me because of him, I feel increasingly distressed, so I simply closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep

Suddenly, my right hand was grasped by him, and I felt a surge of panic in my heart, quickly trying to pull away. However, he enclosed my hand with both of his palms, as if a clam shell were enveloping a pearl

I ran to the front yard, and his door was open. I rushed in, only to find the room clean and tidy, as if no one had lived there anymore, with quiet writing materials and still vibrant azaleas.

The handkerchief is soaked, yet the tears continue to flow incessantly. I fear that the small pouch will see, so I turn over and lie down, facing the wall, silently shedding tears.

The bed shifted slightly, suggesting that he had gotten up, but I did not hear the door sound, so he should not have left the room. The room was enveloped in silence, interrupted only by the faint sound of dripping water. What is he doing?

I am at a loss for words, and my face begins to feel warm. That particular section in the book is slightly suggestive, depicting a romantic bath for lovers, while the rest is filled with tales of the martial world. Yet, Xiao He Bao chose to bring up this segment right in front of Jiang Chen, leaving me in a most awkward position, with no face left to show.

He handed the chopsticks to me, gazing at me eagerly, filled with hope, and said: "You haven't been able to eat for the past two days, so I specially went down the mountain to buy this. I used my lightness skill to make the round trip, and the food box is wrapped in several layers of cotton cloth, still warm. Would you be able to eat a little?"

After walking a few steps along the mountain path, I suddenly saw Senior Brother Zhao Yebai rushing down from above.

There is a place in my heart that begins to beat strangely, beating faster and faster, to the point where I can hardly breathe

My master cares for me deeply. There is a hot spring in the Immortal Cave on the back mountain, which was originally shared by everyone. Later, my master heard that frequent bathing in hot springs could strengthen the body, so he designated this hot spring for my exclusive use. My constitution is quite poor; among the members of the Xiaoyao Sect, my skills are the weakest, and my internal energy is utterly lacking. My master specifically invited Dr. Qiao from Shennong Valley to examine me, and he said that this is a condition I was born with, a deficiency from birth.

He looked at me, seemingly taken aback

In the past fifteen years, I have never experienced such tumultuous waves and twists and turns, leaving me in such deep anguish and at a loss for what to do

I stared blankly at him, the sunlight was just right, and everything before me was a dazzling white. Suddenly, I felt a tightness in my eyes, and a wave of moisture surged forth. I quickly raised my hand to shield my eyes.

I was blindfolded with a towel, yet I could clearly feel that his palm was so large that it completely enveloped my hand. I struggled a couple of times, but it was in vain; the giant clam remained utterly motionless.

Is he returning to Fujian? Will he come back?

Every single thing seems to be telling him that I do not like him; what I like is Jiang Chen. Only I know who I truly like, but it is already too late

I cough while pressing my hand against my chest, unable to distinguish whether the pain in my chest is caused by the coughing or something else. I only feel a soreness and swelling around my eyes, as if countless tiny needles are pricking at them

My throat was painfully choked, and I exerted great effort to squeeze out four words: "Take care, brother." Then, I turned and left. Fortunately, if I had turned back just a moment later, he would have seen my tears.

If time could be rewound, if... However, there are no ifs

The distant mountains are lush and green, the sky is vast and high, that white figure seems to soar away like a flying swan, the blue sky is boundless, and the rivers and lakes are expansive. As the years pass, where shall we seek him?

I reluctantly took the sword, tucked it under my arm, and walked towards the back mountain

The sun shone brightly, illuminating his jade-like visage and serene smile, so captivating that it would no longer belong here. Even if I were to silently gaze from the side, I could no longer do so.

His expression was cold and he grasped my wrist. It was only today that I understood why he was angry and why he was so harsh with me

I glanced at Jiang Chen, and indeed, his smile was neither a proper nose nor proper eyes. With a meaningful and affectionate tone, he said, "Xiao Mo, I like you this way; having a sense of humor is what makes it good"

Brother Yang, who lives next door, looked at me in surprise and said, "Xiao Mo, what happened to you?"

In the palm of my hand, I tightly grasp the dagger he gifted me on my birthday, which bears the small inscription "Xiang." I had always thought that it was a character from the name of the master craftsman who forged the sword. Little did I know, this dagger is part of a pair, known as "Xiangsi."