Chapter 7, Night Conversations

Suddenly, I was choked by the wind, coughing violently, tears streaming down my face from the fit. He carefully covered me with a quilt and closed the window. The palace maids had already lowered the layers of gauze curtains, creating a faint, cloud-like mist. For a long time, no one spoke; I could only feel the warm breath against my neck, tickling me and making my heart restless. "I have wronged you," he said in a deep voice, filled with infinite sorrow. Those few words made the pent-up frustration and pain of the past few days burst forth like gushing well water, accompanied by intense shivering and tears flowing like a spring, this gut-wrenching cry nearly causing me to faint. "I have wronged you," he repeated, his deep voice laced with boundless regret. Those few words made the pent-up frustration and pain of the past few days burst forth like gushing well water, accompanied by intense shivering and tears flowing like a spring, this gut-wrenching cry nearly causing me to faint. He remained silent, simply turning my body so that I could cry freely against his chest. After a long time, when I had cried myself out, I realized that his chest was already dampened by my tears. I looked up at him, and he was gazing at me with a dazed expression.

Two young eunuchs hurriedly lifted me up, entered through the door, and quickly made their way into the inner chamber. Upon reaching the bedside, they lifted the gauze curtain. I caught a glimpse of Yan'er; it was late at night and slightly dim. I scrutinized her for a long time, and fortunately, Yan'er had not awakened.

I suddenly got up from my light slumber, completely forgetting the time. If someone were to see me, it would surely cause another uproar.

"I have lost my composure." I wiped away my tears, forcing myself to suppress the endless sorrow within. "I am powerless to help you, I am sorry for you," he said, clenching his fists tightly, the veins on the back of his hands bulging from the strain, and his joints turning white. Just this one sentence was enough; he too had his own unavoidable circumstances. "The first time I saw you, I realized you are a wise woman, knowing the path you should take," he said sadly.

Suddenly, his expression darkened: "But later, when I saw Lady Qi again, she had already become a human pig. I cannot imagine that the sobbing figure rolling in filth was once the stunning Lady Qi of years past." I wanted to offer comfort, yet I did not know where to begin, so I chose to remain silent and listen to his ramblings. It seemed as if the Emperor had not had anyone to talk to for a long time, murmuring to himself: "When I saw you dance, I thought Lady Qi had returned, believing that all ugliness had not appeared before my eyes, that it was merely a nightmare, and that my mother was still the loving mother of my childhood. In truth, it was just self-deception on my part." "Your Majesty, please accept my condolences," I whispered in comfort. He continued to murmur: "When I saw you dance, I thought Lady Qi had returned, believing that all ugliness had not appeared before my eyes, that it was merely a nightmare, and that my mother was still the loving mother of my childhood. In truth, it was just self-deception on my part." "Your Majesty, please accept my condolences," I whispered in comfort. "In fact, I miss you very much, but I fear bringing you danger, so I can only take the opportunity to see Yan'er to look at you properly." He poured out all the feelings he had long suppressed. How could I not be moved? The dignified Emperor actually had to go to great lengths to find an excuse to see me; such sentiment was more precious than anything.

The two young eunuchs gently set me down, bowed in apology, and turned to leave. I looked back at Yan'er, feeling a myriad of emotions within me. Naturally, there was a sense of guilt once again. After a night of turmoil, I was quite fatigued; as soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes, against my will, began to close. Well, even the greatest matters can wait until tomorrow; tonight, I shall surely sleep well. In a moment, I fell into a deep slumber.

The moon outside is still full, and its light is exceptionally bright. Everything outside the Lingxiao Palace is softly draped in a yellow halo. In the distance, the layered mountains behind the Shanglin and * Tushuyuan * are dark and alluring. The untouched remnants of snow in the distance are pure and flawless, as if the world has always been this clean, devoid of any filth

The Emperor also rose, and with a full response said, "What is there to panic about? Prepare the carriage." He looked at me again, raising his hand to help me tidy my disheveled braids. Since I was lying down in my clothes, my dress was covered in wrinkles; he lowered his head and pressed them flat with force, then tugged at the hem of my skirt. With a long sigh, he said, "Let us go, be careful with everything." Though there was reluctance, I had no choice but to part. I could not rise to take my leave, and had to be carried out of Lingxiao Hall by two eunuchs draped in a blanket. Almost at the moment he was adjusting my clothes, I believed he was the man destined for me in this life. Whether facing the harshness of wind and frost, or being weak and incapable, I was willing to step into the turmoil of the harem for him and carve out a path. I could not rise to take my leave, and had to be carried out of Lingxiao Hall by two eunuchs draped in a blanket. Almost at the moment he was adjusting my clothes, I believed he was the man destined for me in this life. Whether facing the harshness of wind and frost, or being weak and incapable, I was willing to step into the turmoil of the harem for him and carve out a path. Before I could regain my senses, I was already seated in the carriage. The carriage moved quickly, jolting violently. Just as we arrived at Weiyang Palace, the sound of the hourglass for the Yin hour echoed. The gate of Weiyang Palace opened slightly, and I understood in my heart that besides the Empress Dowager's people, there were also those belonging to the Emperor inside.

He sighed deeply: "In fact, I have thought about giving you a title, to stand openly by my side. However, what you said that day about the harsh winds and frost made me fear losing you." His voice was heavy with emotion, as if reluctant. Of course, it could not be done; that would be like placing me in the midst of raging flames. Not to mention the Empress Dowager, even the many women in the harem would be difficult to handle. Suddenly, he pulled me tightly into his embrace, saying with hope: "Why don't we escape from this prison palace together, find a secluded place, and live a stable and peaceful life?" Such a dreamlike existence, of course, could not be realized; that would be like placing me in the midst of raging flames. Not to mention the Empress Dowager, even the many women in the harem would be difficult to handle. Suddenly, he pulled me tightly into his embrace, saying with hope: "Why don't we escape from this prison palace together, find a secluded place, and live a stable and peaceful life?" Such a dreamlike existence is what I long for as well, to walk hand in hand with the one I love, to watch the clouds rise, free from worldly troubles, with peaceful years and growing old together. Yet this dream is far beyond reach; I am already deeply entangled in the struggles of the palace and unable to extricate myself. Freedom and the pursuit of happiness have become precious hopes that must be exchanged for my life. It is also what I long for, to walk hand in hand with the one I love, to watch the clouds rise, free from worldly troubles, with peaceful years and growing old together. Yet this dream is far beyond reach; I am already deeply entangled in the struggles of the palace and unable to extricate myself. Freedom and the pursuit of happiness have become precious hopes that must be exchanged for my life. I shook my head, and he was shocked: "You are unwilling?" "It is not that I am unwilling, but I cannot," I replied. I did not know how to express my worries. Fantasizing is useless; nothing can be put into action, no matter how beautiful the words sound. His gaze suddenly dimmed, and it was clear he understood that it was merely a fleeting wish. However, my calm rejection also hurt his heart as a man. Fantasizing is useless; nothing can be put into action, no matter how beautiful the words sound. His gaze suddenly dimmed, and it was clear he understood that it was merely a fleeting wish. However, my calm rejection also hurt his heart as a man. The air became tense, and I regretted speaking without restraint, while he lamented his own naivety. We held each other but had no words left to say. Before the hour of the tiger, Eunuch Fu cleared his throat outside the palace door: "Your Majesty, shall I escort Xiao Qingyi back to Weiyang Palace?"

I know that I cannot ensure your safety, so I can only comply with your wishes and grant you a way out. However, this world is not mine to command; I cannot be the master. The tone of self-reproach conceals too much helplessness, moving anyone who hears it. Gaozu fought for many years, living a life of uncertainty. The emperor, having witnessed much bloodshed during his youth, lived a tumultuous life. After ascending the throne, the empress dowager governed the court, and for every matter, big or small, he had to consult his mother’s opinion. Even the imperial seal that commanded the armies of the Han was in the hands of the empress dowager. This emperor holds a title that does not reflect his reality, powerless to influence any affairs. Do you still remember the graceful sleeve dance you performed? It was the most beautiful dance I had ever seen in my childhood. Lady Qi was stunningly beautiful, and her dance was mesmerizing. When my father was alive, he would always beat the table to provide a rhythm for Lady Qi's performance. At that time, I thought Lady Qi was the legendary goddess Nüwa. The emperor's expression when he spoke of Lady Qi was beautiful and filled with longing, as if reminiscing about a beloved toy from his childhood that he could never possess.

A gust of night wind passed by, chilling the air, and I slightly hugged my arms, yet I was reluctant to close the window for fear of missing the view