Chapter Nine, watching the dawn break is a lonely affair

I remember those early mornings during night shifts, often holding a cup of strong tea, standing by the window, watching the color of the night sky gradually shift from deep to light. The moon sets in the west, and the brilliant stars slowly fade away in the increasingly bright light. After the glaring sun rises, the noise of people fills the air, and life returns to an orderly state, while the computer screen behind me, which has been on all night, continues to emit a faint blue glow.

All the muscles in my body have become stiff, and we locked eyes, the atmosphere somewhat tense

I remember that after Qiao Chu heard about this matter, he also remained silent for a long time

The selection is quite good, the champagne rose suits her, and the water lily complements you better

"Blame you?" I interrupted him with a cold smile, "Why should I blame you? What qualifications, what position, what power do I have to blame you? You have your artistic pursuits, your life plans, you do not seek to please others, do not cater to the vulgar, you adhere to your principles and ideals, you have a far-reaching vision, and even if you are penniless, you can still embrace the world in your heart. I should be proud of you, so why should I blame you?"

In order to win over these individuals, I specifically chose an afternoon to stand by the basketball court, waiting for them to finish playing. After they were done, I cheerfully opened a plastic bag and handed each of them a can of ice-cold cola.

I spent many years in solitude, and I once doubted that my entire life would continue to be lived in such a manner

Although the people working here are generally high-quality white-collar workers, at the moment Qi Tang posed that question, I could sense the air filled with an inquisitive atmosphere.

Well... it seems quite cheap. Sigh, I won't bother anymore, don't ask me, just make your own decision. As soon as the words left my mouth, I heard a "bang" as the door closed.

Even if I have no improper thoughts about him, even if I have already tarnished my own image beyond recognition, I am still a girl after all, and I truly cannot withstand a handsome young man saying such a thing to me in front of a large crowd

Whether it is I, or Jian Chenye, or Qi Tang himself, none of us realized that, unknowingly, new things and new people have already intervened in our lives

I believe it is primarily because of this person, who, during my most lonely and helpless years, did everything he could to help me, to protect me, and stood up to defend me when others mocked me, even for the dignity that I myself could not be bothered to uphold, which was hardly worth mentioning

At four o'clock in the morning, for those suffering from insomnia, this is the most agonizing moment

The meal time has passed, and most of the people in the restaurant have left. Qi Tang and I are sitting side by side, facing the glass. I scoffed at his question, saying, "Aren't you also indulging in solitary dining?"

Due to the fact that our relationship is rather distant, every time I take a plastic bag from him, I feel like a thief. In contrast, he appears very relaxed and natural, occasionally even taking the initiative to say to me: "I have counted, there are three or four more today than yesterday."

His warmth completely rescued me from feelings of inferiority and coldness

I have taken on the role of the good person, so he has no choice but to be the bad one: "I have a favor to ask of you all. Ye Zhao Jue is a close friend of my family member Shao Qing Yu, so she is one of us. She wants to work part-time to support her studies, so please help her out by collecting the plastic water bottles and aluminum cans from your class every day, alright?"

Qi Tang raised an eyebrow and said: "Last time you requested an advance on your salary, I did not agree, so now it feels inappropriate to assign you any work."

Then, he with a bruised face and I, stunned like a wooden chicken, found ourselves in a stalemate in the long corridor

In this silence, I am also pondering why I want to be with Jian Chenye

We were completely unaware that fate was about to arrive

During my time working the night shift at that automotive supplies company, I spent countless nights alone in the office, enduring the long, endless hours.

At that time, I had not yet awakened to matters of the heart, or rather, I had not devoted any thought to this aspect at all. All my passion, affection, and sincerity were prematurely dedicated to money

He gave a wry smile and said, "The reason I already told you last time; this time it is merely the final choice I made after careful consideration. Zhao Jue, I know you will blame me..."

After the lunch break, we returned to the company together. Just before entering the office, Qi Tang suddenly seemed to remember something: "By the way, didn't you say you felt too idle? I have a task for you. Please help me order a bouquet of fresh flowers from the flower shop for delivery the day after tomorrow. I will give you the address shortly."

These words slipped from my lips effortlessly, without a hint of stammering, yet in that very moment they escaped my mouth, I had already begun to regret them

My workspace is right outside Qitang's office. He didn't give any instructions before going in. The entire morning, I just sat there in front of the computer, opening and closing web pages, repeating this process countless times.

In our grade, there are ten classes, each with Jiang Yi's teammates and buddies. For Shao Qingyu, these individuals are the main culprits hindering her from dating, but for me, they are the good helpers bestowed upon me by heaven

I like water lilies

And when I asked myself this, the seventeen-year-old Jian Chenye, with a bruise beside his eye, stood under the hundred-year-old cypress tree at school, smiling awkwardly because he felt embarrassed... Suddenly, everything came rushing back to me.

I immediately pulled Shao Qingyu out and scolded him fiercely, as if I were scolding a grandson. I said: "You, you, you, are you even human? I beg you to help with such a small favor, and you refuse? Are you really that noble? Do you know that being so pretentious will cost you friends..."

I thought I had made it very clear to you last time, yet I did not expect you to be so foolish as to still be unable to think of the reason. Ye Zhao Jue, what else can you do besides making money

It was only until late at night that he gently opened the door and quietly climbed into bed. I pretended to be in a deep sleep and did not acknowledge him. After a while, I felt him kiss my forehead.

Although my mind is quite capable, I am, after all, limited to a pair of hands; at this moment, the importance of connections becomes evident

Then, I heard him softly say: "I am sorry"

I have already reminisced alone about the past in the early morning, and I truly do not wish to recall the tragic events of those years twice in one day. Therefore, I proactively sought a new topic: "I haven't done anything this morning; why don't you assign me some work? Even doing some menial tasks is better than having nothing to do."

I quietly watched him until my eyes grew warm and glistened with tears

She said: "After Jian Chenye was pulled away, she shouted at that boy in front of all of us, 'Ye Zhao Jue earns money with her own hands, I don't think it's embarrassing at all, I like her, I don't feel embarrassed at all.'"

Do you know why they got into a fight today? That boy was being rude, asking Jian Chenyue if he felt embarrassed for liking a girl who collects garbage. Jian Chenyue lost his temper at that moment, and the two of them fought for quite a while, until the teacher finally pulled them apart

Shao Qingyu's eyebrows danced with excitement, and her two eyes sparkled with brilliance: "You fool! If it has nothing to do with you, why would I call you! He fought with someone for your sake, you idiot!"

Before they had a chance to refuse, I hurriedly said, "Thank you, thank you, I appreciate all of you good brothers for your help. I will come to find you to collect it before school ends each day, thank you, thank you."

After a while, I curled up my legs, rubbed my face vigorously, and tried to make myself look a bit softer: "May I ask why?"

Shao Qingyu said that Jian Chenye likes me, how is that possible

... ...

Of course, I have also felt discomfort, but I am more aware of what I need. Let their cold words be; I cannot control what comes out of their mouths. The money I hold in my hand every night is what truly matters

It is said that there are many girls who have a secret crush on the art student, Jian Chenye

... ...

Even many years later, I can still clearly see that scene from back then; it is like a frame taken from a high-definition movie about youth, without any noise, without any pixelation, and without sound

When I was in a state of out-of-body experience, being dragged to the teaching office by Shao Qingyu, I happened to run into Jian Chenye, who had just finished training, as he walked out of the office

I threw my phone onto the sofa: "My boss might be dying soon"

During the regular meeting, Qi Tang briefly introduced me to the other employees, saying, "This is my newly hired assistant, Ye Zhao Jue." Everyone clapped their hands a few times out of routine, and it was evident that my arrival would not affect anyone's position. Indeed, I am just an insignificant person.

... ...

I consider that I am not really familiar with Jian Chenye; at most, we just know of each other's existence. He has bought food from me a few times, and I have heard some gossip about him from the girls in my class. Yes, that is the extent of our acquaintance.

I have mentioned that during my student days, I was quite adept at identifying business opportunities. After selling snacks for a while, I began selling bottled water. Once I had been selling bottled water for some time, one day I suddenly came up with an idea—recycling bottled water bottles

I originally had a lengthy condemnation to express, but Shao Qingyu rolled his eyes and interrupted me, saying, "I didn't force him; he took the initiative himself"

Despite being quite busy, I still noticed something a bit strange

That day, our class was having a study session when suddenly a classmate from the back row passed me a note. I opened it and saw it said: Hurry up and come out! Urgent!

Shao Qingyu gently pushed me and said, "Go on," but for some reason, my feet felt as if they were rooted to the ground, unable to move an inch.

I want to be with him

Without any unnecessary words, I got straight to the point and asked him: "Do you like me?"

After school in the afternoon, I neither went to restock nor sold scrap materials, but instead invited Jian Chenye to a quieter corner of the school.

I am not satisfied with a single profitable project; what I want is to establish a complete production line that belongs solely to Ye Zhaojue on campus. After I excitedly formulated this plan, I truly had a wonderful illusion in my mind that "I will be rich by the time I graduate"

Before he closed the door, I hurriedly asked, "What kind of flowers?"

Shao Qingyu rolled her eyes dramatically and said, "Fool, think about what is going on yourself."

Who is it

Not only is he mentally ill, but he also completely lacks the ability to read between the lines: "I heard Qingyu say that you were very out of place when you were studying, how come you are still like this now?"

As I looked up, I saw Qi Tang's cynical smile.

Shao Qingyu continued, "Anyway, I have known for a long time, Jiang Yi also knows, and many classmates in our class know as well. It is precisely because so many people are aware of this matter that there are often jokes made about you and Jian Chenye. Every time he collects bottles for you in class, there are always people cheering. Last time, you even asked me why I had to pressure him. Goodness, you are really driving me crazy.

There is a distance between us, but I know he saw me, and he knows I saw him; yet neither of us spoke.

Jian Chenye stared at me blankly; he was not someone who could conceal his emotions. His face clearly displayed an expression of having his self-esteem severely wounded. After a long, long time, he finally turned around numbly and closed the bedroom door

It was a nonsensical statement, yet I understood it

I am shocked! Why? What is he after? Is he trying to seek a commission?

From this moment on, our originally simple and clear little world will experience an unprecedented and tremendous upheaval

Seeing him so serious, I truly felt embarrassed about my own sordidness and quickly sat up straight, saying: "You speak."

I turned around, returned to the bedroom, embraced Jian Chenye in the dim light, and softly said, I'm sorry

At noon, the other colleagues went in groups to have lunch, and a couple of girls of the same age passed by and politely asked if I wanted to join them. To avoid awkwardness, I still smiled and declined their invitation.

I was stunned, is this it?! You called me out of the classroom just for this?!

That night, I slept very poorly, fearing that my tossing and turning would disturb Jian Chenye, so I quietly got up and went to the balcony to stay there

It seemed that he had caught my implied meaning, as Jian Chenye stared at me in astonishment for a while before finally responding: "Can you think of something else? I have serious matters to discuss with you."

Qiao Chu once asked me why, despite the hardships I endure with Jian Chenye, I still choose to be together with him

He hesitated, wanting to speak but stopping himself repeatedly to the point where I almost wanted to lose my temper, and only then did he finally say: "Zhaojue, I have rejected them."

If murder were not a crime, I would truly want to kill him right now

After several brief exchanges with Qi Tang, I have a premonition that I will be tormented to the point of despair by this perverse boss

There is no room for negotiation, none at all

Looking in the mirror at my face, which is as ordinary as it can be, and then glancing at the old clothes and shoes I have been wearing for years without change, I appear to be someone who would be lost in a crowd, with no beauty to speak of

Even with my eyes closed, I can still sense Jian Chenye moving back and forth in the room. Allow me to make a somewhat inappropriate analogy; it is akin to certain animals during specific periods.

However, I am definitely not included in this "many"

We have been together for so many years, and our relationship has long transcended love. In a certain sense, we are dependent on each other as family, and we are also comrades fighting side by side

When Shao Qingyu said the last sentence, he deliberately sniffed and his eyes sparkled.

The elevator doors opened with a sound, we had arrived at the twenty-third floor. Qi Tang and I stepped out together, leaving the onlookers behind.

I remain motionless, tears surge forth in the darkness, silently soaking the pillow as they stream down my face

One can of cola per person was enough to handle the most active group of boys in the entire grade, straightforward and efficient

I think there might be a problem with my ears

I am not unaware of how many people are gossiping behind my back, nor of how many are sarcastically saying that Ye Zhao is truly driven to madness by poverty

I just watched helplessly as he took a big gulp of my cola, this person is truly insane, he has never been normal from start to finish ... Yes, I am reminded again of the time during the interview when he asked me about my bust size

Damn you, Shao Qingyu, you wretched woman! I silently rolled my eyes: "You actually believe what she says? When I was studying, my social connections were quite good."

To draw inferences from one example to another, this is precisely the kind of person I am

His smile, which carried a hint of shyness yet feigned composure, mingled with the fragrance of plants, has been preserved in my memory for many, many years

In that case, I had no choice but to let it all go. I calmly replied to him: "Because I am poor."

After a while, Jian Chenye turned around expressionlessly and went downstairs, while I remained standing in place, completely motionless

That bastard Qi Tang actually chose to ask this question in the elevator during peak working hours

After enduring for more than ten minutes, I finally opened my eyes and looked at him speechlessly: "Feel free to state your demands, but you must know that tomorrow is my first day at the new company..."

The last weekend of my life as an unemployed drifter passed in the blink of an eye. On Sunday evening, I turned off my computer early, prepared the clothes I would wear to work the next day, and lay in bed with my eyes closed, waiting for sleep to come.

Who doesn't like things that are free? After they each gulped down the cola, I exchanged a glance with Jiang Yi.

This shot penetrated two hearts

I really cannot understand why a boy of the caliber of a campus heartthrob would help me collect discarded mineral water bottles. The only explanation is that Shao Qingyu is forcing him to do so

I am so furious holding my phone that I could explode, is Qi Tang insulting me? Is it a subtle mockery implying that I only deserve cheap goods?

This is too unrealistic, isn't it! I am quite self-aware, you know!

Loneliness leaves one at a loss, and only the sound of the wheels of the night-traveling vehicle swiftly crushing the pavement can prove that I have not gone deaf

I curiously turned my head back and saw Shao Qingyu at the back door of the classroom waving and jumping like a monkey. As I stood up to ask for leave, I thought to myself that it must be another argument with Jiang Yi

"I am just like you," he actually took my cola without even asking me. "I am the boss, of course, I need to maintain a certain distance from my employees."

But one day, someone approached me in this world, making me understand that even someone as humble and insignificant as I am still deserves to be respected and loved

"Is it true that you have monopolized both the snack sales and waste recycling industries? I have long heard of your illustrious achievements."

Just as I was lost in thought, there were two knocks on the glass in front of me

Jian Chenye noticed that my expression was not right, and leaned over to ask: "Who sent it? Is something wrong?"

But I was wrong, completely wrong

Ironically, the numerous events that transpired between us later proved how unreliable my premonition was

He tilted his head and thought for a moment: "I don't quite understand this... What do girls around your age like?"

I cannot allow myself to harm him

In that moment, I was standing in front of him and was on the verge of crying out loud, okay

Since I can endure Shao Qingyu and Jian Chenye, I do not mind enduring one more Qi Tang. Therefore, I withstood the pressure and bravely raised my head, giving a sound of affirmation.

Indeed, why is life so difficult, and the future may not be better than the present, yet we still have to strive to be together so hard

Perhaps it is the bravest decision I have made in my life

At this sensitive moment, I was unable to control my foolishness and impulsiveness. I could have expressed myself in a better and more tactful manner, but I chose the most acerbic way.

I swear I have never thought of harming him; I would rather harm myself than ever wish to harm him

The Jian Chen Ye in my memory is not much different from the one today, only appearing a bit more awkward. When I posed my questions, he neither denied nor affirmed them, but simply smiled and turned his head to the side, avoiding my gaze

It exists so quietly and intact in the crevices of time, no matter how long ago it was, whenever I think of it, I still feel the emotion that makes me want to cry

I did indeed think seriously about it for a day or two, and I also considered the possibility that he was attracted to my beauty, but in the end, I dismissed that thought myself

The first floor of the Jinxi Building actually has quite a few restaurants, but the prices are not cheap. After browsing around, I ultimately opened the door to Subway and decided to buy a tuna sandwich with a cola to get through this meal.

When most of the colleagues had left, the door to the Qitang office remained tightly closed, and I decided to go out alone to find something to eat

Did you cry last night

That night, I returned home and could not fall asleep. For the first time in my life, I experienced the feeling of losing sleep over a matter, over a person. By dawn, I made a decision

I did not expect this bastard to audaciously press for more details, asking: "Why?"

I was caught off guard when the answer was revealed

Since I cannot figure it out, I might as well not think about it and focus on making money instead

How is this possible

Since then, I have become busier than before. Every afternoon, before going to restock, I have to drag two large black plastic bags to a recycling station near the school.

I really want to just crash my head against the glass and die

What a message filled with an air of pretentiousness, I thought with a tinge of jealousy

Looking back, the tenacity I have to never admit defeat in anything, and the spirit of rising again as a strong person after a night's sleep, regardless of how difficult and challenging life may be, probably laid the foundation from that time onward

The sun is truly delightful, as I munch on a hamburger while gazing at the world outside the glass. There are so many luxury cars on the road, and so many wealthy people; why can't I be counted among them? ... Suddenly, I recall that when I left home, Jian Chenye had not yet woken up. I wonder if it will be awkward when we meet in the evening ...

Speaking of which, Jiang Yi was indeed quite good to me in the past

The task of collecting bottles for the neighboring class was clearly assigned to Miss Shao Qingyu, but... but why? Every time I stand at the back door of their class after class, the person bringing things out is not her!

After a while, my phone vibrated; it was a message from Qi Tang. The address was a very expensive apartment building in the city, and the recipient's name was an English name, Vivian

This is not how it is typically portrayed in shoujo manga, and I am truly heartbroken

Can my luck get any worse? I clearly did my utmost to catch the early bus, yet I still ran into my boss in the lobby and had no choice but to share the same elevator with him

Later she said, "I think I understand."

"Watching the dawn break is a lonely affair." I believe this sentence encapsulates the essence of the matter; Gu Cheng is indeed a genius

"Why aren't you having lunch with the other colleagues? Are you trying to show off?" He sat in the seat next to me, chewing heartily on a burger topped with bacon

I could have said anything to salvage the situation, but I did not

This is the person I have loved since I was seventeen, the first person in the world who taught me how to love

It was precisely the lunch rush, and there were hardly any vacant seats in the restaurant. Fortunately, my eyes are sharp and my movements quick. Seeing that a row of seats by the window had just become available, I hurriedly grabbed a hamburger and a cola and dashed over, sitting down in a hurry.

Unbeknownst to me, the sky has already brightened

On the evening two days later, while Jian Chenye and I were working together in the kitchen, one washing vegetables and the other cooking rice, Qi Tang sent another message.

As soon as I stepped out of the classroom, Shao Qingyu dragged me to the stairwell, his serious face betraying an undeniable excitement: "Zhao Jue, let me tell you, just now in our class during physical education, Jian Chenye got into a fight with someone!"

In those desolate and impoverished years, I was like a fish washed ashore by the waves, while Jian Chenye was the one who bent down to pick me up from the beach, bringing me back to the ocean

Although everyone says that Monday is the most hated day for office workers, to be honest, I do not have a particularly deep experience of this.

Could you please be mindful of the occasion when speaking? I silently cursed under my breath. I have come to realize that this person has been intent on not allowing me to have a good time since the very first time we met

I have always known that I am not good-looking enough, and my personality is not gentle or charming enough, so I have never blamed others for not liking me. Deep down, I even have some disdain for myself.