Section 2

Do I really have to take the initiative?" He frowned, turned his back to me, then looked back at me with a charming smile, reaching out to pat my head

Xiao Li turned to him, opened her eyes wide to look at him, then looked at me. A few seconds later, she burst into tears.

If I had been able to foresee what would happen later, I wonder if I should have been a bit more selfish and kept him by my side, as both Xiao Li and I needed him just the same

I sat numbly in the chair, wondering where exactly the problem lay between us, how could financial issues be intertwined with our feelings

I packed his luggage and waited for Ji Dong to confirm the flight schedule. It should be getting cold in Shanghai as well. I packed some shirts, coats, dress pants, and his white socks, filling a large suitcase. After packing, I took each item out one by one, folded them neatly again, and placed them back inside, repeating this process over and over.

Zhuo Yao has not entered the room for a long time; he may not want to see me in a slightly tipsy state. I have not sought him out either. He wants some quiet time, and I understand and respect that

His mother, who is also my mother-in-law, simply does not acknowledge me. She resents me for taking her only son away from her. Even though Xiao Li has been born for a year, she has not visited once or inquired about him.

Shh— I said softly

His eyes were fixed on me, and for the first time, I saw him so helpless, as if he were about to cry. He held me tightly in his arms, his body trembling slightly. In a hoarse voice, he said: "The phone over there, my mother, has suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, accompanied by severe heart disease. The hospital has issued two critical condition notices; she is not going to make it... My second sister is just urging me to go back, without telling me the truth... If I had known it was like this, I would have returned to Shanghai long ago." He was filled with deep guilt. His hoarse voice repeated: "The phone over there, my mother, has suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, accompanied by severe heart disease. The hospital has issued two critical condition notices; she is not going to make it... My second sister is just urging me to go back, without telling me the truth... If I had known it was like this, I would have returned to Shanghai long ago." He was filled with deep guilt.

I am doing well here, everything is going smoothly, no need to worry he said decisively, as if rejecting something

What other reasons do I have to stop him? Bringing him to this small fishing village is already selfish enough. He has abandoned his family and his status, and I still deceive myself into thinking it is for love, because he is passionate about his career in comics

"How could I sell the things you have used?" I said, putting the watch back in the box. His clothes were all custom-made by hand in Italy; some of them had only been worn once and were already considered old clothes. I washed and folded them neatly, never having the heart to throw them away. What am I doing? Am I reminiscing about him through these items in anticipation of losing him in the future?

"Why did you wake up so early without waking me? The sun is already shining on my face," I said softly, closing my eyes. The clean scent of a young gentleman mixed with the aroma of wood and coffee.

I called the travel agency to inquire about flights. All first-class tickets for flights to Shanghai in the next three days are sold out, and there are no economy class tickets available either. The only option is to wait for any cancellations or changes. I asked the travel agency to make arrangements, and I have no problem paying extra fees.

Then I will go back to bed now, you pretend I am asleep, give me a kiss. I happily ran to the bed like a little girl in love, obediently covered myself with the blanket, and closed my eyes. I was so excited, secretly delighted, even though we had kissed countless times.

It turns out that he returned to my side while I was asleep

Every time his phone rings, I feel anxious, fearing it is a call from Shanghai. I am afraid that a single call from there could take him away from me. Over time, I have grown accustomed to this anxiety. How helpless it is to love someone, to the point where even the anxiety of gain and loss becomes a habit.

He conceals from me, fearing that I might overthink and indulge in wild imaginations

It turns out that in the past few days, he has been taking calls behind my back, and it was not Lawyer Li calling to discuss the contract termination, but rather a call from Shanghai urging him to return. As Zhuo Yao said: If I had known it was like this, I would have returned to Shanghai long ago

I forgot to tell him that I like it when he kisses me with the taste of red wine or coffee on his lips

The coffee flavor was not the black coffee he drinks; it was the coffee-flavored toothpaste I bought for him. I remember him with a face full of foam while shaving in the bathroom. I handed him a tube of coffee-flavored toothpaste, and he was very surprised that I could actually find a toothpaste with such a flavor. He loves coffee so much that I specifically searched through many convenience stores to find it.

Even though he is leaving, I am filled with countless feelings of reluctance, unease, and unhappiness

I wanted to take advantage of your slumber to steal a kiss, but unfortunately... you woke up. He feigned profundity, accompanied by a sense of loss

Fortunately, in this small fishing village, there is still our family of three

I sat on the sofa, feeling utterly helpless. After some thought, he called Ji Dong to arrange for the fastest flight.

That night, I was alone in the room, with the lights turned off. The darkness easily reminded me of the days of blindness, during which I could see nothing. I spent ten months in the dark while pregnant. Every day, I was extremely cautious, fearing that I might fall, fearing that I might accidentally lose our most precious child. Each night, I fell asleep with thoughts of Zhuo Yao, and then woke up at dawn with those same thoughts.

The Tong family enterprise has always collaborated with the airline, making it much more convenient to book tickets in their company name. As before, Ji Dong meticulously followed Zhuo Yao's instructions without missing a word

I can only comfort him: "First, return to Shanghai and go to the hospital to take a look. With all that has happened, you are her only son, and she needs you the most at this time." Seeing him like this pains my heart immensely, and I just want him to hurry to Shanghai to relieve his worries

"Alright, see you tomorrow morning." He hung up the phone and said to me, "There is only the flight tomorrow morning, two tickets."

I poked my head out from under the quilt and looked at him

"Wait for me at home, I will accompany her for a while and then come back," he said, giving me a hug

Enough, Ruan Manjun, you selfish and narrow-minded woman, please consider a little more for the man beside you

The home over there in Shanghai, I am of no status at all

Not long after, Ji Dong and the library's phone call came back. "The flight tomorrow morning? I need it as soon as possible, do you understand!" Zhuo Yao paced back and forth, very dissatisfied with the arrangements for tomorrow morning's flight

He held Xiao Lihui tightly, reluctant to part, and said: "Manjun, during the time I am away, please take good care of Xiao Lihui at home, teaching her to walk and talk. If anything happens, call me, do not keep it from me. Remember, I am your husband"

Love is such a helpless yet willingly embraced affair

I nodded in agreement and took out a watch box from my jewelry box. Inside was a Patek Philippe men's watch, which he had always worn on his wrist. After we began living in the small fishing village, he had removed these valuable luxury items. I took out the watch, intending to put it on him, as he could not wear anything too simple or plain. I wanted his family to know that I was ensuring he lived well.

"With me here, I will ensure that all problems are no problems. Trust me, I will provide you and the child with a happy life," he said gently, his palm ceasing to pat but remaining on my back, as I curled up in his embrace until I fell into a peaceful sleep

I have thought about it, and perhaps if his mother’s condition improves, he will return soon

"Come here, let me hug you." Zhuo Yao's voice came from behind me. He was wearing a gray thin coat, his hair slightly damp, with handsome features and a charming smile

In this delightful moment, I slightly opened my eyes, hoping to find Zhuo Yao's gaze. His phone rang at an inopportune time, and I widened my eyes, staring at the pocket of his coat.

I know that I am engaging in self-deception

"Zhuo Yao, please answer the phone." After I finished speaking, I quickly buried my face completely in the blanket. My index finger brushed against my lips, and my palm covered my mouth to exhale. Fortunately, there was no unpleasant odor even though I hadn't brushed my teeth. I secretly felt delighted, anticipating something. On my chin, I faintly sensed the fresh coffee scent lingering between his lips and teeth after he brushed his teeth.

He took out many clothes from the suitcase I had neatly packed, patted my head and said: "Silly, I'm not going to be gone forever, why pack so many clothes? Besides, I can buy them in Shanghai too"

He promised me that he would have no further dealings with that company and would no longer be involved. Over the past year, he has not been in contact with Ji Dong, while Ji Dong continues to serve the company. The two major shareholders of the company are Zhuo Yao's mother, Lin Luyun, and Zhuo Yao's second sister, Tong Peihui. Zhuo Yao is uneasy about the company being run by two women, so he has kept Ji Dong on as a strong assistant

I stretched out my arms to embrace his neck, burying my face in him, as if I had lost and then regained him, holding him tightly. In a state of half-drunkenness and half-awakening, I kept saying: "After having a nightmare, the first thing I do is look for you. I am so scared, Zhuo Yao, you tell me, where did we go wrong, you tell me..."

He did not suggest that I go with the child. The words I intended to say were swallowed back. What I wanted to say was that I would accompany you to Shanghai. Since he asked me to wait for him at home, he has his reasons.

As soon as I heard there were two plane tickets, I said: "Two plane tickets, then I will go with you; I also want to pay her a visit"

I walked up to him, his slightly damp hair falling over his forehead, and I brushed it aside with my hand. Then, just like the countless embraces we had shared in the past, I slipped my arms through his overcoat and wrapped them around his waist. The black and white striped shirt he wore was ironed by me, with its white collar and cuffs, and my gaze fell upon a small golden shirt button on his chest.

I heard his footsteps approaching me, he sat by the bedside, lifted a corner of the quilt, his leaning motion brought his breath closer and closer, his lips landed on my neck, delicate kisses, warm kisses, my nervous hands clutched the quilt tightly, fully immersed, soft, and relaxed

Until midnight, I had a nightmare, dreaming that I was in a world filled with white, devoid of any people and any exits. The most terrifying part was the absence of him, the absence of the child. I was alone in a white, hazy image, neglected by everyone, as if I were once again facing betrayal and abandonment. This was the second time I had this dream; the first time was in prison, when I vaguely guessed the future of Feng Bowen and myself.

Upon waking in the morning, I rubbed my sleepy eyes, got out of bed, and drew back the curtains. The autumn sunlight streamed into the bedroom, illuminating the bed and the floor, with sunlight scattered everywhere. Seeing Zhuo Yao's coat hanging on the rack, I walked over, embraced his coat, and found it hard to let go.

He did not wear that watch. He said, "You don't have much money on you, keep this watch, it can still be of use to you. I will go over there, and I won't be short of money; I will send you money." He looked at me and Xiao Li with a guilty expression, as if he was blaming himself for not earning enough money.

I got out of bed, and from his worried expression, I anticipated that it must be a phone call from over there, informing him that someone at home was ill. I held his hand, and to my surprise, his palm was icy cold. I asked, "What happened, who is sick, tell me."

"Little comic, it is my fault, I should not have gotten angry over a single sentence. What is wrong with me? I clearly know that you did not mean it that way, how could I still be angry with you?" he said, filled with self-reproach and heartache.

I called out Zhuo Yao's name, my hands and feet kicking and striking restlessly. I felt the person beside me turn over to face me, and I heard his breathing. Soon after, I was embraced in his strong and warm arms, his palm gently patting my back. My legs curled up between his body.

"Sick? Why did you only tell me now? Alright, no more talking, I will book the fastest flight immediately, we will discuss it when we meet." He hung up the phone and casually put his mobile phone into the pocket of his coat

The sunlight quietly falls upon us, its warmth, the warmth of the autumn sun, the sound of the waves, I am almost softened, like a piece of milk candy, silently immersed and melting away.

"I am sorry," he said, carrying Xiao Li back upstairs