Chapter 8, Fragments of Memory

However, Pei repeatedly reminded himself: he must not stop, absolutely must not halt! When the red sun rises again, Shi Le and Liu An will surely send troops to search for them after discovering their escape. The land of Yu Xi is almost completely flat, and the Hu people all have mounts. With only his two legs, how could he possibly outrun four hooves?

Their eyes locked, mere inches apart, their noses almost touching. Pei stared coldly and cruelly into the old shepherd's eyes until, despite the latter's wide-open gaze, it was clear that there was no longer any life in them. Only then did he press down forcefully with his left hand, laying the body flat on the ground—fortunately, there was hay on the ground, so it did not make much noise.

Pei took advantage of the night to swim across the Wei River—though the river was not wide and the current was gentle, he had learned to swim in his previous life, which allowed him to finally reach the west bank before he was completely exhausted. However, his clothes were soaked, weighing him down to an unbearable extent, and his legs felt as if they were filled with lead, making it nearly impossible for him to continue walking.

His heart was always in his throat, knowing that the chances of successfully stealing from the Hu camp were quite low. The reason he was able to strike successfully just now was that the old herdsman was heavily intoxicated; although he was startled awake from his dreams, he had not yet managed to fully regain his senses. Now, if he were to encounter a few fully alert Hu soldiers face to face, with his frail body, who could he possibly fight against? It is likely that even a mutual destruction would be a luxury.

Pei took a moment to think carefully, then raised his head to gauge his position by the dim starlight, and most importantly—he found the direction of the Weishui River

I have killed someone ... ... I have killed someone ... ...

It would be better to first go to Pengguan to find that elder brother, and then persuade him to escape to Jiangdong together.

He leaned against a large tree, sat down heavily, and with his last bit of strength, took off his sheepskin robe and removed his felt hat. However, although his clothes underneath were completely soaked, he truly lacked the strength to free himself. Fortunately, it was already early summer, and there was little wind tonight, so he was not completely frozen.

He deliberately took a long breath, shook his head, and tried hard to rid his mind of various inexplicable thoughts. Most importantly, this was not the time to ponder issues of social ethics; the primary task was to escape from the Hu camp as soon as possible, otherwise, would he not be betraying the good intentions of that woman? She must have also risked her life to save him, so how could he not cherish it with utmost care?

The closer he got to success, the more cautious Pei became. He found himself in a dark area where the light of a fire was barely visible, and he had to use both hands and feet to crawl out of the stakes, finally managing to climb over the trench. However, even after temporarily escaping the Hu camp, he did not dare to straighten his back, remaining hunched over like a frightened wild animal, striving to run into the distant darkness.

Pei exerted himself to search the fragments of memory in his mind, but the more he thought, the more his head ached from exhaustion, and he could not recall anything. Finally, he dozed off in a daze and began to dream

It is precisely because of this relationship that the remnants of the Hedong Pei clan during various upheavals closely aligned with Sima Yue. Among them, Pei Fei's third brother, Pei Shao, served as Sima Yue's strategist, and Pei Gai himself accompanied the expedition. Pei Shao, styled Daoqi, was not only exceptionally talented in literature but also skilled in swordsmanship. More importantly, he could barely be considered a competent politician and military commander. Unfortunately, Sima Yue passed away in Xiangcheng... Otherwise, it would not have been possible for the useless Wang Yan to monopolize military power.

It was not until this moment that Pei's mind began to function normally again. He paused for a moment, then swiftly stripped the old shepherd of his sheepskin cloak and draped it over himself. He also took the other man's felt hat, covering his own hair, and pulled the brim down low, nearly obscuring his eyebrows.

Then it is better to pretend to "bring about one's own destruction"; only by placing oneself in a desperate situation can one hope for rebirth—crossing the Wei River may perhaps help in concealing one's tracks, and furthermore, heading north after crossing the Wei would also allow one to distance oneself from Xuchang. Of course, I certainly would not go to Luoyang.

The dagger hesitated slightly, and then there was a sudden feeling of clarity, as if everything had opened up before him—Pei felt a warm liquid spray onto his right hand, while his left hand, which was covering the old herdsman's mouth, distinctly sensed the other party taking a deep breath. Following that, a soft sound of "uh" escaped from the old herdsman's throat, and his eyes immediately lost their focus.

... ...

Pei gritted his teeth, straining to drive his nearly collapsing body forward. After much effort, he finally left the riverbank and sought refuge in a nearby grove. The dense shade of the trees was sufficient to conceal his figure, allowing him to take a brief rest and catch his breath

He wanted to pull the dagger out from the opponent's chest, but his hands were covered in blood and cold sweat, causing him to slip. In a hurry, he wiped his hands on his clothing, and only then was he able to successfully retrieve his weapon. ... The old shepherd slave had ceased to breathe, yet Pei could not help but gasp for air, his heart feeling as if it were firmly grasped by the claws of a monster, each beat extremely difficult to endure

The woman's appearance gradually became clearer in the dream, no longer resembling the attire she wore when rescuing herself from the stable. She wore a wig, styled in a high bun adorned with pearls and jade, her face heavily powdered, and her ears adorned with dangling earrings. She was dressed in a light purple blouse, over which she wore a wide-sleeved garment made of brocade. The attire was exceedingly luxurious, perhaps only comparable to that of the emperor's consorts.

I am about to head to Pengguan to find my elder brother, but how far is Pengguan from here? My elder brother seems to be named Daowen, but is his given name Song or Chong? And what about that woman, who is she? What is her relationship to me?

He felt his throat dry, with an overwhelming impulse to cry out in despair, but he ultimately held it back and forcefully swallowed half a mouthful of saliva. ... Immediately, he bit his lower lip with his upper teeth, using the sharp pain to barely dispel the bottomless fear within him—these were Hu people, and their hands were surely stained with the blood of many innocents, killing ...! ... They must be killed!

The Wei River is one of the oldest rivers recorded in China, as mentioned in the Book of Songs with the lines "Zhen and Wei, flowing gently." This river originates in the territory of Yangcheng County in Henan Province, winding its way southeast before ultimately flowing into the Ying River. It is estimated that the location of the Hu camp is on the eastern bank of the Wei River, south of Wei Cang, and northwest of Xuchang. After dawn, they will certainly break camp and set out, crossing the Wei River to return to Xuchang. In this situation, Shi Le might conclude that he has fled east—he certainly would not run to Xuchang, so why head west? Is he trying to escape back to Luoyang? Luoyang has become a dead city, with people fleeing like Sima Yi, while those who enter Luoyang to meet their demise have almost vanished.

But why is Lady Pei wearing coarse cloth and appearing in the Hu camp? ... Pei must be puzzled ... . ... Theoretically, Lady Pei should still be in Luoyang, and has not followed her husband to war? Why has she fallen into the hands of the Hu people? What kind of misfortune will a noblewoman face in the Hu camp? !

Pengguan should be located to the northeast of Xuchang. According to the woman, her brother Pei Song or Pei Chong should be in Pengguan. In fact, Pei's soul originates from two thousand years later, and there is no sense of kinship with the original family of this body, nor any desire to seek out relatives. However, if one were to head south to Jiangdong, traveling a thousand miles, with clothes but no food, how could one walk such a long road alone? Even if one wanted to beg for food, the Central Plains have suffered from wars repeatedly, and many areas are deserted for hundreds of miles. It is likely that even begging would yield nothing.

But what about the Hu people? Are they not human? ... Whether they have stained their hands with the blood of innocents or not, one cannot allow a murderer to make baseless assumptions ...? ... Is this justifying murder for oneself? Pei could not help but recall a saying he had heard in his previous life—"If one is ruthless to oneself, can one be merciful to others? If one is not afraid of death, will one fear the death of others?"

However, upon further reflection, if escape truly seems impossible, and with a dagger in hand, it might be better to simply turn the blade upon oneself and pierce one's own throat. If survival is not an option, then one might as well seek death, thus avoiding the risk of being tortured by the Hu people into revealing the woman—though I have resolved not to implicate her, this body has no experience of enduring torture, so it is wise not to place too much faith in my own willpower. If survival is not an option, then one might as well seek death, thus avoiding the risk of being tortured by the Hu people into revealing the woman—though I have resolved not to implicate her, this body has no experience of enduring torture, so it is wise not to place too much faith in my own willpower.

In his dreams, he once again saw the woman's eyes, filled with sorrow, dazed and seemingly otherworldly; this gaze was deeply etched in his heart. Since his crossing, time has been brief, and all of his kin he has seen are either filled with fear or devoid of substance, as if no one cares for others, nor pays attention to others, let alone concern themselves with the lost and bewildered self. Only this woman... But who exactly is she?

Although they are relatives, Pei Gai is not aware of his aunt's given name; he only knows that she was married to Sima Yue, the King of Donghai, as a secondary wife when he was still very young

In many places within the camp, bonfires were lit, and several torches blazed brightly outside the military tents. However, due to the lack of planning in the encampment, shadows crisscrossed and overlapped in various areas. Pei cautiously concealed himself in the shadows, moving stealthily and quickly along the outer perimeter of the camp.

He wanted to take the long knife of the old shepherd, but it felt heavy in his hand, and he always sensed that whether he held it or wore it, it would surely affect his agility. After some thought, he had no choice but to give up. He turned the dagger upside down, the wooden handle still in his palm, while the sharp blade was concealed in his sleeve. Then he lowered his body, lightened his footsteps, and quickly yet cautiously ran towards the stable.

He noticed this direction when he set up camp at dusk, which was the closest to the stable that imprisoned him, separated only by a shallow trench and a few chevaux-de-frise. The chevaux-de-frise were ultimately not a stockade; they were not continuous, making it easy to open a passage at any time to facilitate a counterattack by the defending troops. In essence, these rudimentary measures were only meant to prevent night raids, as the Hu soldiers had always looked down upon the Jin soldiers and had no intention of holding their camp defensively.

Pei Gaimeng suddenly woke up from his dream, feeling drenched in cold sweat, his clothes soaked once again. After taking a few deep breaths, he could not help but push himself up against the large tree, gripping the dagger tightly, and stepped out towards the edge of the forest—no, I must go save her!

It is unclear how long I have been running, as if the night has no end, and I feel as though I will never know fatigue. Only when I turn my head do I catch a distant glimpse of a dim light on the horizon. It is then that I finally feel my bones weaken and my muscles go numb, and I cannot help but sit down heavily on the ground. My body can hardly move anymore; only my mouth opens, my chest rises and falls, gasping for breath, and even my vision begins to fade into darkness.

If only I had a steed of my own... But that is merely a meaningless wish. Each horse belongs to its master; one cannot simply lead a horse from the stable and ride it with ease. Just yesterday, I foolishly attempted to escape, hiding in the pine forest, but did the steed not stop at the sound of a whistle? Having suffered a loss, how could I not learn my lesson? Moreover, even if I were to lead a horse, I might not be able to successfully slip out of the Hu camp...

... ...

With a newfound awareness of death, the footsteps became lighter, and the mind clearer, no longer distracted, focused solely on avoiding the patrolling sentinels. Just as Pei had anticipated, the luxurious carriage of the Crown Prince of Donghai, Sima Bi, was not only loaded with an astonishing amount of wealth but also inexplicably filled with dozens of jars of fine wine—without good wine to accompany the meal, the Crown Prince would not have been able to endure the long journey planned ahead. After acquiring this fine wine, Pei An rewarded the soldiers, ensuring that nearly everyone received a share. Thus, even the sentinels were inevitably influenced by the effects of the wine, compounded by the necessity to allocate a significant number of personnel to guard the newly captured Jin people, and the complete surprise that anyone within the camp would dare to escape, leading to a significant drop in vigilance. Consequently, Pei was able to stealthily make his way to a corner of the camp without encountering any danger.

Pei felt a cold sweat break out on his palms, and he couldn't help but tense up, realizing he was gripping the cold, hard handle of a dagger. He didn't know where the strength came from, but he slightly bent his knees, pushed off the ground with his toes, and suddenly lunged forward. With his left hand, he pressed against the old herdsman's mouth, while his right hand held the dagger, positioned horizontally at his side with the sharp blade facing forward, directly plunging into the opponent's embrace. He didn't know where the strength came from, but he slightly bent his knees, pushed off the ground with his toes, and suddenly lunged forward. With his left hand, he pressed against the old herdsman's mouth, while his right hand held the dagger, positioned horizontally at his side with the sharp blade facing forward, directly plunging into the opponent's embrace.

It has come to mind, Pei Gai has finally remembered! This woman is indeed related to him, also from the Pei family of Hedong, and in terms of generation, she can be considered his paternal aunt—though the age difference is not significant. The former Han Minister of Works, Pei Mao, had five sons, the eldest being Pei Qian, styled Wenmao, who served as Minister of Works in Cao Wei and is Pei Gai's great-grandfather; Pei Qian's third brother was Pei Wei, styled Wenxiu, who served as the Inspector of Jizhou in Wei. The second son, Pei Kang, had four sons and one daughter—his sons were named Pei Chun, Pei Dun, Pei Shao, and Pei Kuo, and that daughter is the very woman who saved his life in the stable. The former Han Minister of Works, Pei Mao, had five sons, the eldest being Pei Qian, styled Wenmao, who served as Minister of Works in Cao Wei and is Pei Gai's great-grandfather; Pei Qian's third brother was Pei Wei, styled Wenxiu, who served as the Inspector of Jizhou in Wei. The second son, Pei Kang, had four sons and one daughter—his sons were named Pei Chun, Pei Dun, Pei Shao, and Pei Kuo, and that daughter is the very woman who saved his life in the stable.

Pei did not expect that the old herdsman would wake up so quickly. It seemed that he had just caught a glimpse of dawn, only to be plunged back into darkness in an instant, causing him to feel a chill run through his blood and his legs to weaken. He fixed his gaze on the old herdsman, who, although slightly raising his head to look at him, still had a dazed expression in his eyes. Then, he reached out to push against the ground, preparing to turn over and sit up.