Chapter 01: The Garden Girl

A dream is a letter from the subconscious to the conscious mind

Carl Jung

Liang Zhe: "Have you tried some common methods, such as pinching your own thigh?"

But we can change the trajectory of our growth process

The direction of the heart's growth is like that of a sunflower; no matter what kind of torment it endures, it should always face the sunlight

The girl paused for a moment, then turned her head and said: "Twelve, thirteen? I can't remember, is this very important?"

The treatment process lasted two hours, exceeding the time by five minutes

The girl turned down her collar on one side, revealing a fresh scar about half the length of a palm, then gave a bitter smile and said, "There are many scars like this one."

Rediscover the original self

The girl's body curled up even more tightly; although she was wrapped in a huge black trench coat, it seemed as if one could still feel the vibrations emanating from her body, a sensation that sent chills down one's spine

3:00 PM, Geller Intensive Psychological Treatment Center, indoors

Girl: "It is not that it cannot be determined, but rather that it is fundamentally impossible to determine."

Liang Zhe: "If it is in a dream, how can you be sure that person is your father"

Tan Wei did not respond, still keeping her eyes closed and her head lowered

Liang Zhe smiled and nodded slightly; he did not ask the girl about the meaning behind her words, but instead looked directly at her, waiting for her response

Liang Zhe stood up and smiled, saying, "Tan Wei, I apologize, but our consultation time has come to an end"

Liang Zhe wrote two characters on the paper: "Dream Walking." After a moment of thought, he added two smaller characters below: "Self-Harm"

A hint of desolation flickered in the girl's gaze. She did not speak, but instead began to slowly roll up her sleeves. She was wearing a black trench coat, with a long collar, cuffs, and hem, as if she wanted to wrap herself entirely within the coat.

He walked to the window and drew the curtains open

We cannot influence the environment of our childhood, as we are still too young

The girl wrapped her trench coat tighter, turned her head to the side, and gazed at the edge of the coffee table. After a long while, she said: "That hailstorm destroyed everything in the garden—rapeseed flowers, lavender, roses, and peonies, even the shrubs. The mud was filled with the corpses of butterflies and bees... I couldn't bear it all, and I collapsed on the ground, crying in pain. It was then that he appeared."

Liang Zhe: "Before the hail, was your dream always confined to the garden?"

The girl stared intently at Liang Zhe, and after a moment of hesitation, she nodded slightly. However, she quickly shook her head again.

Liang Zhe wrote a few words on paper: neurasthenia, satisfaction and realization

The girl's emotions are somewhat unstable, as if she is experiencing some anger or the pain of not being understood

Liang Zhe placed the pencil and white paper together on the small table beside him, and then turned off the voice recorder on the table

Liang Zhe smiled and nodded, signaling the girl to continue speaking

The girl took a sip of water: "Six months later... You have no idea that during these six months, I have hoped every night to fall asleep quickly, to go in and see what those flowers have grown into. Over these six months, I have watched them grow little by little, from sprouting to producing leaves, from budding to blooming, and then releasing their fragrance. They are growing, and I am growing too. In reality, I should have spent almost two months by now."

The girl, around twenty years old, curled up in the corner of the sofa, resembling a frightened cat. Her eyes were large, and her eyelashes long, which should have sparkled with life and evoked sympathy. However, at this moment, her gaze was filled entirely with fear

The girl felt somewhat bewildered by Liang Zhe. She adjusted her trench coat once more and gazed at the edge of the coffee table: "He, like me, finds it incomprehensible what is happening in the garden. He even feels the same pain as I do; yes, I can sense it. He feels a genuine sadness for everything in the garden. However, he is different from me; he is strong and cheerful, and he quickly emerged from the garden's decay, leading me to embark on a new wave of cultivation. You cannot possibly believe how joyful it is to bury seeds and wait for new life to sprout. It was he who taught me to do this; it was he who helped me slowly walk out of the inescapable pain, and with immense joy, begin to cultivate a garden that truly belongs to me." It was he who taught me to do this; it was he who helped me slowly walk out of the inescapable pain, and with immense joy, begin to cultivate a garden that truly belongs to me.

The girl raised her head, staring at Liang Zhe, and after a moment of surprise, she revealed a smile: "It seems that you are indeed quite different from other psychologists"

Liang Zhe: "Do you mean that you cannot be sure whether you are currently dreaming or not"

The girl's arms were exposed, her skin very fair, yet there were patches of bruises on it, resembling the eyes of a demon, fierce and terrifying

As soon as Liang Zhe's voice fell, a piercing scream suddenly erupted from behind.

The girl's gaze became frantic, her lips began to twitch, and even her breathing grew rapid.

The girl lowered her head, gazing at her exposed soles, as if she had already immersed herself in a dream

Liang Zhe wrote on the paper: The dream continues

Liang Zhe had not yet understood what was happening when Tan Wei suddenly stood up abruptly, pulling at his coat with both hands, completely tearing it open, revealing his fair and delicate skin, along with the scattered bruises on his chest, which were shocking to behold

When Liang Zhe turned his head back, he had already adjusted his emotions. He did not directly answer the girl's question but continued to ask, "What changes occurred after that hailstorm?"

***

When Liang Zhe is focused on organizing his thoughts, he will make this gesture

Liang Zhe quickly wrote on the paper: Dream six months = Reality two months

The setting sun shone in, radiant and edged with gold, casting its light upon the ground

The girl said, "It should be in the bathroom, as my father later told me."

Liang Zhe: "Do you know if you have ever experienced symptoms of sleepwalking?"

Girl: "In both my dreams and reality, I get hurt, and the wounds are the same."

The girl took a deep breath: "That night, I didn't even have dinner; I couldn't wait to go to sleep and quickly fell into a dream. I didn't explain the reason to him, I just grabbed his hand and ran wildly, bursting out of the garden... the outside world, the outside world—!"

The girl suddenly placed the cup on the coffee table, staring at Liang Zhe: "You still don't understand what I mean, do you? What I mean is that my dreams are growing, and I am also growing within my dreams. Each dream continues from the previous one, evolving and changing, and this change is something I can personally experience. This is what I want to express. Can you understand this or not?"

The girl extended her hand, picked up the cup of water from the coffee table, and with a trembling wrist, gently took a sip, falling into silence

PS:

Bang!

The girl: "The garden has completely flourished. Hand in hand with him, we ran through the garden, initially in the center, then to the edges. Later, we discovered a path leading to the outside world. We hesitated for a long time about whether to go out. In the end, it was only after I woke from the dream and reflected deeply in reality that I made the decision"

Liang Zhe: "Why do you cover it with your hand? Do you not wish to die?"

Liang Zhe gazed directly into the girl's eyes, his voice steady and powerful: "This place is very safe, I am your psychologist, you can tell me everything you wish to say"

Liang Zhe breathed in the fresh air outside, turning his back to Tan Wei: "Tan Wei, the next consultation is also scheduled for Monday afternoon at 3:00 PM. If you have something that prevents you from coming, please call me one hour in advance."

Everyone has a story

Girl: "It was something I thought of later, because at the moment that person burst in, I woke from my dream and then found my father holding me, covering my wound."

The girl fell silent for a moment, then slowly lowered her head and said: "There was none before, but later there was, because I had to do so."

Liang Zhe was surprised to discover

Liang Zhe took a light breath, then turned his head to glance at the corner of the left wall, where a wardrobe over two meters tall stood, as if there were someone inside that cabinet looking at him, and he needed to gain strength from that person.

Liang Zhe: "Did you commit suicide in your dream?"

Liang Zhe sat in an armchair, a whiteboard notebook resting on his knees, a pencil in hand, carefully examining the girl in front of him in the picture book.

Liang Zhe recalled the words that Li Mo had said to him: Before she becomes a true mental patient, I believe only you can help her

Girl: "It was only then that I realized how terrifying death truly is. I began to scream, shattering the glass, violently banging my head against the wall. Just as I was about to give in, feeling as though all my strength was about to be drained away, I saw my father rush in, terrified..."

Liang Zhe: "Where do you find yourself after you wake up?"

Behind every laugh, there may be a hidden truth

Liang Zhe did not disturb her, for he understood the exhaustion that follows when one has revealed many of their inner secrets.

Liang Zhe: "What is the result of the proof?"

Liang Zhe placed the pencil on the whiteboard, propped his elbow up, supported his chin with his palm, extended his index finger, and gently stroked the side of his nose.

Liang Zhe hurriedly turned around

The girl suddenly bit her lip tightly, lowered her head, closed her eyes, and her face was filled with exhaustion, as if she had just fought an incredibly tough battle and was now utterly worn out

Girl: "Once, I even killed myself in my dream"

The girl instinctively nodded but did not respond

After a long while, Liang Zhe suddenly asked: "Since you can commit suicide in your dreams, can't you also bring yourself back to life in your dreams?"

Tan Wei's right hand struck his own cheek with great force, producing a crisp sound

Liang Zhe took a light breath, pulling his thoughts back and asking: "Did you do all this to prove whether you are in a dream or not"

The girl nodded: "Because my dream is about to come to an end, I am afraid to see the outcome, so I have to take measures to terminate my own dream. The way to end my dream is through somnambulism; only in this state can I find the tools that will enable me to completely awaken from the dream."

Tan Wei's eyes are closed

According to her own description, she said that she cannot distinguish between reality and dreams

Liang Zhe quickly wrote a character on the paper that was the same as the one in the book: "He." He circled this character and added a line of small text below it: "The source of trauma"

Girl: "I also want to revive myself in my dreams, even to find someone who can help me, but as long as he exists in my dreams, I simply cannot do it. He has been... relentlessly hunting and tormenting me, waiting for me to die..."

Liang Zhe realized that he had made a mistake; he should not limit a girl's thinking with his own perspective, but rather interpret a girl's thoughts through her own mindset

Welcome everyone to share your thoughts, and welcome to learn about psychology together, as we delve into the hidden secrets deep within our hearts

The girl bit her lip tightly, while Liang Zhe bent down to pour a glass of water and pushed it in front of her

Liang Zhe: "Are you saying that you can control whether or not you want to sleepwalk?"

Liang Zhe: "Do you dream the same dream every time, the one in the garden?"

Girl: "I looked into the mirror, watching my blood flow from my neck, so red, darkening to black. It is a part of my life, and it is slipping away. I want to cover it with my hand, but the more I try to stop it, the faster it flows. My hands, my body, my face, are all covered in blood, warm and bubbling."

The girl gazed at the cup of water in front of her, and after a long while, she slowly said: "That is a very large garden. In my dreams, I go there to play every time. I can smell the fragrance of the flowers and hear the whispers of the butterflies. In the garden, I am a carefree and free-spirited princess, accompanied by the changing of the seasons, the blooming and withering of flowers, and I am also slowly growing up. That is my happiest private space; it has accompanied me as I grew, until one day, a hailstorm—"

Girl: "I can feel the pain, and just like it is described in all the movies and novels, my past, including some memories from my childhood, will surge into my mind in that moment"

Liang Zhe knew that the girl was about to get to the crux of the matter, so he asked nonchalantly, "How old were you at that time?"

Liang Zhe filled the girl's cup with water and looked up at the wall clock: it was a little past 5:05 PM

Every tear carries a story of pain