One
Indeed, there was a period in my life when I suffered from bipolar disorder. This is also why Lin Fang looked at me with such a fearful expression and why she was searching for medication.
No one can understand the grievances in my heart, and she is even less capable of doing so
Don't you know how much Guan Xia has disliked me all these years
"Jing'an, please don't be angry," Lin Fang understood my temperament very well and noticed my current unease. "Ai Qing is still young and really doesn't understand. Moreover, I heard that Guan Yue wasn't seriously hurt. She definitely won't dare next time. Could you please help me plead with Guan Xia to let her off this time?"
"I don't think this is a big deal, after all, it's just a conflict between you children." She also began to tear up, "Mom knows that this time I came to find you is for Ai Qing. You feel uncomfortable, but you must understand that Mom is also in a difficult position, after all, she is Ai He’s daughter. Mom is not indifferent to you; I thought you were doing well and didn't want to keep bothering you"
She wore a troubled expression, momentarily making me think she was a kind-hearted mother suffering from grievances in a family drama. I was momentarily taken aback, but that expression vanished in an instant. The next second, I snorted coldly, laughed self-deprecatingly, and slammed the money onto the table in a fit of anger, surprisingly unsure of what expression to show her
"Nothing brings one to the Three Treasures Hall without reason. Speak, have you been short on money lately?" I did not look at her, but instead opened the drawer where I kept my private savings, took out a stack of Renminbi, and turned to hand it to her.
At this point, my heart began to feel restless again. Guan Yue is a silly girl; for so many days, she has been as usual, except for incessantly talking about her idol day and night, she hasn't mentioned this matter to me at all
You took that sum of money to buy the house you are currently living in, and then continued to deceive me by saying that it was rented. I calmly stated all of this, as if none of it were happening to me.
But I cannot tell anyone about this
I have never mentioned these matters to anyone, including Guan Yue
Su Yuan ... ... Is he not good to you? He—" Lin Fang anxiously wanted to comfort me, but I did not want to let my emotions spiral out of control any longer. I found some tissues, casually pulled out a few sheets to wipe my tears and runny nose. After regaining my composure, I turned around and smiled at her. Throughout my life, I have never shared any of my negative emotions with her.
In our respective lives, we are well, seemingly allowing both her and me to forget each other's existence
"Jing'an, stop talking!" She began to feel anxious, her gaze darting around as if searching for something, muttering to herself, "Where's the medicine, where's the medicine? Didn't Su Yuan buy you any medicine?"
Stepping back into her former home, she encounters her ex-husband and is met with disdain from the woman who disrupted her marriage. I am compelled to ask her, are you sad, are you in pain, have you truly forgotten everything?
But I did not expect that she actually took action against Guan Yue
Lin Fang wore a troubled expression, not at all like an act. After listening to her, I vaguely recalled what Guan Xia had said earlier, and only then did I understand the situation.
At that time, you agreed to let me come back with him because he gave you another sum of money, didn't you
After a torrential downpour that came with ill intent, this summer has officially come to an end
After all, Su Jing'an has grown up; she must learn to be independent and grow into a towering tree
I strained to keep my eyes wide open, fearing that I might cry uncontrollably.
After finishing this sentence, Lin Fang's expression stiffened; she did not expect that I knew everything.
"Jing'an, please do not treat your mother this way, it will make her very sad." She spoke in a gentle and soft tone, yet it instantly drew tears from my eyes
Do you know how pitiful I feel at this moment? I almost shouted this sentence out.
The last time Guan Yue treated her that way, her self-esteem and love for books could not withstand it, and she would definitely seek revenge. However, during this period, my thoughts have been chaotic, leaving me no time to consider what she might do.
While Su Yuan was quietly reading in the study, I was next door playing that loud heavy metal music at maximum volume
Because I know she is an incredibly fragile woman
You also know that I am your daughter... I repeated this sentence, and this time, I did not laugh. My voice trembled, causing my heart to flutter.
After he sleeps with Chen Pei, I will sneak into the kitchen and turn Chen Pei's favorite fruit into juice, drinking it all.
Su Yuan pondered for a moment, said nothing, and simply waved her hand. Chen Pei crossed her arms and shot her a glare, then went about her business.
As for Ai Qing's matter, whether you choose to help or not is up to you; if you do not help, I will find a way on my own! With your attitude, you will drive others crazy sooner or later!" She glanced at me in a daze, then decisively turned and walked out the door
I have not seen her for a long time, nor have I spoken to her.
The heavy words that have been suppressed deep in her heart have not yet been spoken, yet the ingratiating smile on her face has already revealed the entire answer to me
I truly did not expect her to come here to find me
After hesitating for half a day, I finally looked at her with an expression as if I were looking at a lunatic
My hands trembled and convulsed due to an emotional outburst. Standing still, I raised my eyes and saw in the dressing mirror the figure of myself dressed in a white nightgown, with disheveled hair, a pale complexion, and a grim expression.
You also know that you are my mother, and I am your daughter! I said with a smile, enunciating each word clearly, clenching my fist tightly until I could hear the sound of my skin rubbing together
I do not want this to become a well-known secret, I just want to act as if nothing has happened and live my normal life
She does not want me to know, nor does she want me to be entangled with Ai Qing any longer. As for Ai Qing, I am all too aware; her vengeful nature is strikingly similar to mine.
Guan Yue believes that I am courting death, urging me not to provoke Su Yuan any further. I know she is right, but when I see those two faces that I detest, I cannot control the dark side of myself that lies hidden within.
She is much more fragile than her own daughter
Tears flowed down like cold steam, rushing down in a continuous stream
It was not until I heard her leave the house that I regained my composure from my shouting
However, the current life does not seem to be a normal life. I admit that in recent times, I am on the verge of being driven mad.
She looked at me with genuine emotion, as if confirming everything with me. We locked eyes like this, and for the first time, she saw the shadows and turmoil that lay within my gaze.
Sometimes, I even feel that we are truly dragging each other down. Her giving birth to me is, in itself, a misfortune.
He is the only person in the world who will not disdain my such volatile nature
Lin Fang was taken aback and at a loss, completely unprepared for my reaction. She reached out her hand, wanting to come over and help me wipe away my tears, but I dodged her.
The upheavals of life caught me off guard; I had just stepped out of my fifteenth birthday celebration, and in the blink of an eye, I was confronted with a shattered existence. All of this struck me hard, leaving me utterly defeated on a psychological level
Surprise? Jealousy? Confusion? Resentment?
The bloody reality has stirred a sense of nausea within me, and I am filled with an overwhelming urge to rush out and confront Ai Qing, to give her a good lesson. I have always harbored resentment towards her; why is it that someone like her can rampage through my life without consequence? Why must those I love, and those who love me, be dragged into her chaos?
I will only be remembered when you need me, and that is the truth
I do not mind your abandoning me, nor do I mind your deceiving me. What I care about is whether I exist in your eyes. You now have a new home, a new life, including a new daughter. You can come to see Su Yuan for their sake, willingly subjecting yourself to Chen Pei's disdain. Do you realize how pitiful you look right now?
At this moment, I suddenly miss Dong Mingyang very much, I miss him so much. If it were this moment, he definitely would not mind my current appearance, he would surely stroke my hair and say, "Good, it's okay, it's okay."
Therefore, I would rather find a way to endure many hardships on my own, never allowing her to see them. Because of this, I have developed the ability to be strong and resilient, akin to steel and iron.
Ai Qing has caused trouble outside, and it is said that the person she offended is someone you know, Guan Yue. Now her brother is holding Ai Qing accountable, and she doesn't even dare to step out of her house
If it were not for Dong Mingyang, I might never recover in my lifetime
Lin Fang must not have expected that everything would go so smoothly I glanced at her and coldly gestured for her to follow me upstairs
After such a long time apart, she did not exchange any pleasantries and went straight to the point.
Isn't it?" She shook her head in shock
I did everything I could to annoy Su Yuan with various things he dislikes, making him feel irritated and frustrated. However, his indifference left me feeling utterly disheartened. I understand his calculations; after all, I am crucial to him at this moment, and no matter how angry he gets, he won't do anything to me.
I am doing well, I scoffed, everyone thinks I am doing well, and I originally thought I was doing well too
"Aren't I doing this for your own good? Living with him is certainly better than suffering in poverty with me. I don't have the money to support your college education." She spoke frankly. She was right; I couldn't blame her. Poor people simply have fewer choices, so even though I have come this far, I do not have much regret. However, that does not mean I will be grateful to these two individuals. They brought me into this world, but instead of nurturing me with love, they repeatedly put a price on me to satisfy their own desires.
"Don't get me wrong, I came to find Jing'an today." As she spoke, she lifted her head and looked at me leaning against the stair railing
It is not money, it is ... ... Ai Qing
After all these years, I have truly had enough
"Let her off the hook? You say that so easily!" My voice involuntarily rose by eight degrees as I strode up to her, staring down at this pitiful woman before me, weak-hearted and indecisive. "Do you think I am a living Bodhisattva? That a single word from you would suffice?"
I just want to say, the way you are right now is particularly pitiful! Aren't you just afraid of losing Ai He again? Do you really lack men that much? Can't you live without a man?
And you, have you truly forgotten the time you rushed over to capture those two on the scene, only to be backstabbed? I coldly bring up one bloody memory after another that I had buried in my mind, "You actually came here for someone with no blood relation!"
That year, I lived through immense hardship, and many times, I was unwilling to reflect on what I had actually experienced during that year. Now, I am overwhelmed by life, yet Lin Fang still fears whether I might relapse into my old ailments
Ever since that day I visited Su Yuan in the hospital, he and I have maintained a tacit understanding of silence whenever we see each other for an extended period. Thus, I naturally became the superfluous person in the family. In fact, it was always the case; it has just become more apparent now. I did not feel disheartened because of this; on the contrary, I found more joy in it.
Just as I was making a complete mess of the house, with my inner turmoil and hatred spilling over, Lin Fang's appearance felt like a bucket of cold water poured over me
You are really too irritable like this! I can no longer continue this conversation with you!" After finding nothing, she rearranged her hair, picked up the bag on the table, and her expression became somewhat more resolute.
As she raised her head again, there was an added sense of unfamiliarity and fear in her gaze towards me
Under his protection, I shed my gloom and gradually grew, while my mother, during that year, harbored an immense disdain for me