Chapter 7, Happy Birthday to Me

Hi, happy birthday! Liu Yan said to me with a smile

When they finally came to a stop, Liu Yan saw her mother wedged in a crevice, gripping her tightly with both hands. The air was filled with a familiar sweetness that enveloped every cell in Liu Yan's body, and she knew she would not die! Perhaps that scent was emanating from her mother, for at that moment, Liu Yan saw blood streaming down from her mother's forehead, dripping into her eyes. It was unclear how much blood had flowed, but her mother did not let go until someone came to rescue them. At that moment, her mother was anything but a patient suffering from schizophrenia

When she said those words, she had completely forgotten that it was my birthday that day

Upon waking, I leaned against the headboard, regretting that I did not express what I wanted to say in my dream, though I am unclear about what exactly I wanted to say

Since I have remembered it, I must express it to myself in some way

The water was getting deeper and Liu Yan suddenly exclaimed, "Mom, I don't want to die!"

So I can be considered someone who has experienced life and death! Liu Yan said

The feeling of being on the brink of death was deeply etched in her memory, to the extent that for a long time afterward, Liu Yan still experienced the illusion of suffocation

"Mom, I don't want to die!" she said again. — A six-year-old girl, in that moment, had already grasped the concept of life and death

Liu Yan stayed at her uncle's house for a period of time. Until one night, her mother found her and said she wanted to take her to a place

Upon returning home, I took a shower and went to bed.

Do you not think that being a forensic expert is a rather unclean profession

In fact, every time I am with Liu Yan, I feel an invisible pressure. Liu Yan soon sensed this and apologized to me, saying that it was her matters that made me feel oppressed. I concealed my feelings and said it was nothing; as long as she was by my side, it would make me very happy

As the river water flowed, Mother said, "Yaner, do not blame me. I do not want you to suffer alone. We will go together, and I will always take care of you"

In my view, it is better described as a taboo than as a rule

"Regarding what aspect?" She was somewhat unclear.

You already know my profession, what are your thoughts on it? I would like to change the subject

Originally, I intended to call out to the plateau as well, but the snoring in his room was thunderous. I stood outside and thought for a moment, deciding not to disturb him. So, I took a bottle of wine and went up to the rooftop, sitting there to drink.

Perhaps it was a case of being moved by the scene, Liu Yan spoke that day about an incident that occurred on her sixth birthday. I can no longer recall how the topic came up, but under such circumstances, it would normally not be appropriate to discuss bloody scenes; however, we indeed did. Liu Yan mentioned that her birthday should have been very happy. Her mother had promised to prepare a large birthday cake for her and to make a sumptuous dinner. Yet, when she returned home from school, eagerly pushing open the door, her hopes for the birthday and even for the future were completely shattered by what lay before her!

The mother finally stopped her tears and turned towards the shore. However, at that moment, the rushing water blocked their path to survival. The mother stumbled in the river, and both of them were swept into the water.

"Why do you say that? I am not a perfectionist!" Liu Yan said in surprise. After thinking for a moment, she continued, "I believe that nothing is inherently dirty, so there is no such thing as a dirty profession! Instead, I think it is the thoughts of people that distinguish between cleanliness and filth!"

At that time, I had not yet realized that emotional cleanliness obsession is actually more terrifying than physical cleanliness obsession

However, when we were together, I rarely saw you smile! Liu Yan said this

From that moment on, Liu Yan said she would occasionally catch a whiff of a fishy-sweet scent, a dizzying aroma that filled her olfactory cells, piercing a certain part deep within her brain, and in a daze, she felt that it was actually the scent emanating from her own body

Her words brought me a slight sense of peace - a comfort akin to that found in pictures and books. Prior to this, I had been involved with several girls, and once they learned about my profession, without exception, they all ended the relationship. The reason for the breakups was simple: being with me instilled in them an invisible sense of dread.

As I listened to Liu Yan's narration, I suddenly became distracted. For some reason, the professional rule mentioned by the old forensic experts suddenly surfaced in my mind: do not engage in romantic relationships with the relatives of the deceased. I felt an inexplicable chill in my heart.

Liu Yan stated that her mother had originally intended to take her to the river to commit suicide. She clearly remembers her mother carrying her into the river. That night, it rained heavily, the river water was turbulent, and the river wind howled along the banks, resembling a wailing spirit.

The first birthday after meeting Liu Yan was spent with her. She wished me a happy birthday! I replied with thanks. However, in reality, when Liu Yan shared her parents' story, I was not happy on that birthday.

It was the first time I realized that each of my birthdays should be spent under such bright moonlight

She looked at me, her eyes revealing a hint of emotion

The mother lay at home without eating or drinking, dazed for three days and three nights

After Liu Yan's mother was arrested, a judicial assessment determined that she suffered from schizophrenia and was not criminally responsible, thus she was released again

I think I am cursed

I mean, do you mind if your boyfriend is a forensic doctor

I did not expect to remember my dream tonight

Many times, I would rather forget my own birthday. Because remembering my birthday brings to mind Liu Yan's parents, and reminds me of the source of Liu Yan's suffering. These thoughts cause a deep pain in a certain part of my heart

Upon careful consideration, today is indeed my birthday

I also feel that my questions are somewhat vague. This is a situation that often arises when I am with her, where my words do not reflect my true feelings and fail to convey my meaning clearly

You cannot comprehend the feelings of a 6-year-old child witnessing such a scene. Every time I recall Liu Yan's expression when she spoke these words, my heart aches subtly. Her gaze was vacant, devoid of focus, as if there was nothing before her. She said her father lay on the living room floor, his body stained with a shocking crimson, the pool of blood beneath him already congealed. Her mother sat dazed on the floor with a fruit knife in hand until the police arrived. She mentioned that her father lay on the living room floor, his body stained with a shocking crimson, the pool of blood beneath him already congealed. Her mother sat dazed on the floor with a fruit knife in hand until the police arrived. The man on the floor had already been stabbed over twenty times, and his genitals had also been severed.

I originally thought that after drinking, I would sleep soundly and no longer think of Liu Yan. Unexpectedly, Chen Juan's words acted like a stick, stirring up my heart that had finally calmed down. Even while sleeping, I still dreamed of Liu Yan

Liu Yan desperately clutched her mother's clothing, floating and sinking in the water, unable to recall how much river water she had swallowed. Liu Yan said that at that moment, she felt the breath of death; the river water blocked her nose and mouth—every organ that could touch the air. The sensation of suffocation made her feel as if her soul were leaving her body, floating away, while time stretched on as if she had experienced several centuries.

She said that at that moment she heard a heart-stopping scream. However, in fact, there were only her and her mother present, and her mother's mouth had not opened at all, while she herself was already too weak to produce such a sound. Yet, Liu Yan was puzzled and insisted that she indeed heard a scream; perhaps that scream originated from within her heart, ultimately vanishing before it could escape her throat! At that moment, she was already beside herself!

So on that birthday, although she started by wishing me a happy birthday, I did not feel happy. Since then, I have not dared to bring up the subject of birthdays, and it seemed as if she had forgotten too; we have not celebrated a birthday together since. Eventually, I even forgot my own birthday!

I want to say something to her, but in my moment of excitement, I have never been able to voice it.

That night, the bright moon hung high in the sky. After a day of turmoil, the city before me finally succumbed to exhaustion, sinking into a deep sleep under the radiant moonlight. Occasionally, a few lights flickered in the windows of several buildings, resembling whispers of dreams and books. The scene before me suddenly felt much more tranquil and luminous, and some matters that had originally seemed hazy gradually became clearer.

However, since then, I often think of the third rule of forensic medicine: one must not engage in a romantic relationship with the victim's relatives

I got out of bed, put on my clothes, and walked out of the room

The mother lingered in the water for a moment, and suddenly began to cry out loud

Regarding the circumstances of her father's death, Liu Yan was extremely reluctant to discuss it further. However, from her words about more than twenty stab wounds and the mutilation of the lower body, it was enough for me, as a forensic expert, to sense the brutality of the scene

That is because I have never seen you happy, so I am unable to feel happy myself

"That must have been at least ten minutes," Liu Yan recalled, speaking as if to me, but also to herself. "When my father cheated, he didn’t see her cry; when he stabbed that unfaithful man over twenty times, he also didn’t see her cry. That day by the river, I finally saw her cry, and she cried very sadly..." She said that at that time, her mother must have been engaged in a fierce internal struggle.

Thank you, I wish you happiness, and I wish myself happiness as well! I said, raising the bottle of wine in my hand towards the sky

"Why should it matter?" Liu Yan retorted, "What does a profession say about a person? I am in a relationship with a person, not with a profession!"

Rule Two, the Post-Event Sensory Shielding Law, or the Law of Unified Sensation. The five major human senses—smell, sight, hearing, taste, and touch—are utilized in forensic autopsies, with the exception of taste. The sense of smell detects blood or decay; vision discerns every anomaly; hearing is filled with the sounds of slicing tools and the splitting of flesh; touch allows one to feel the softness and elasticity of human tissue through the fingers. Sensory shielding does not mean to block sight and sound, but rather to eliminate unnecessary distractions to facilitate better work. Among the four senses, vision is the experience that does not require direct contact, is the most intuitive, easiest to accept, and most likely to yield clues. Other senses can easily evoke bodily resonance, immersing one in repeated discomfort, and these sensations can generally be realized through vision, making further exploration unnecessary; they can be consolidated into the category of vision. Among my former colleagues, there was a middle-aged forensic doctor who, at the peak of his career, expressed a complete unwillingness to continue in forensic work. He constantly felt an unshakeable strange odor, reminiscent of decomposing bodies, which over time rendered him unable to work normally. Therefore, after examining a crime scene, aside from what is seen, all other experiences should be 'shielded' away.

The forensic code of conduct is an unwritten regulation summarized by forensic experts themselves. According to the old forensic practitioners, it serves as a guideline for self-redemption among forensic professionals. Although it lacks enforceability, it is akin to an ancient spell passed down through generations; to violate it is to invite a curse

Rule Three: One must not engage in romantic relationships with the relatives of the victim. This rule is said to stem from the unique identity of forensic professionals; interacting with the victim's relatives only serves to constantly remind one of the victim's tragic circumstances, making it difficult to let go. Over time, this can lead to a growing sense of sorrow that becomes hard to escape. However, due to the absence of precedents where forensic professionals have married or entered into relationships with the relatives of victims, the validity of this assertion remains unverified.

One of the principles is that forensic examiners must not be emotionally involved during examinations; they must operate like a cold-blooded killer whose heart and lungs have been hollowed out. This principle is the most fundamental requirement for forensic pathologists; only by adhering to it can they carry out their tasks. Each incision cuts through flesh and blood! A forensic pathologist once joked that at that moment, one cannot consider oneself human, nor can one regard the object under the knife as human! Therefore, when you see a forensic pathologist swiftly and skillfully performing an autopsy, do not be surprised; at that moment, the forensic pathologist is merely a mechanical hand with flesh and blood, manipulating the object according to a preset program. A good mechanical hand can execute this task as smoothly as flowing water. The fastest autopsy I have witnessed took just twenty-five minutes—from opening the body, extracting all the internal organs such as the heart, liver, spleen, lungs, and kidneys, to neatly suturing the incision, so deftly that it could almost be described as 'artistic'.