Chapter Seven, Painful Memories

He did not say anything else, only asked: "Do you want to take another nap? Or should I take you out for a drive?" I shook my head: "What drive in the middle of winter!" I took out two sleeping pills from my bag, swallowed them with champagne, and said: "I want to sleep. I have to work tomorrow, so if you are still here, remember to wake me up." He kept staring at the bottle of pills in my hand, remaining silent for a long time. Finally, he waved his hand and said softly: "Then you can sleep for a while. I will have someone bring the computer from the car for work." He began to work, and I fell into a deep sleep.

I greeted the staff at the store and went down with my bag. The underground parking lot was cold and dark, eerie and unsettling; as I stepped in, I couldn't help but shiver, feeling strange and somewhat uncomfortable. I hunched my shoulders and squinted, searching for my car. In such a cursed place, where the heavens do not respond and the earth offers no refuge, it truly is a prime location for robbery and murder. It is indeed a case of a crow's mouth, where good luck fails and bad luck prevails. Before I could finish my thoughts, three figures sprang out from the darkness, brazenly blocking my way.

I walked to the table and poured myself another glass of wine, holding it in my hand and sipping it slowly. The exquisite goblet under the light shimmered like the evening glow on a July day, resplendent in crimson, reminiscent of the blazing peach blossoms blooming in the clouds. I leaned back on the sofa and slowly said, "Do you know why I was fired? It sounds like a joke about someone down on their luck, a tale of misfortune." He sat beside me, resting me against his chest, his breath softly resonating above me. I felt the stir of my hair and the gradually quickening beat of my heart. I leaned back on the sofa and slowly said, "Do you know why I was fired? It sounds like a joke about someone down on their luck, a tale of misfortune." He sat beside me, resting me against his chest, his breath softly resonating above me. I felt the stir of my hair and the gradually quickening beat of my heart. I did not struggle; what did it matter? Tonight, I felt so fragile and helpless.

With a loud "bang," he threw the exam paper on the ground and coldly said, "You, come with me to the office." Suddenly filled with anger, I raised my head proudly and replied, "I did not cheat; with my own abilities, why would I need to cheat?!" He glanced at me, then lowered his head to read the note, holding it up and coldly saying, "Then what is this?" At that moment, I truly hated him; his expression was just like that of a secret police chief from the Kuomintang in a television drama, who, upon capturing a Communist, regardless of whether they were guilty or not, immediately revealed a vicious and cruel demeanor, just waiting for severe punishment to curry favor with his superiors. I could not lose face, so I confronted him and then walked out with my head held high.

He held my face and said, "Alright, Lin Ai, you are tired, so go ahead and take a good sleep." He let me lie flat on the sofa, took off his coat, and covered me with it. I cried until I was exhausted, and my eyes must have been terribly swollen. He stuck out his tongue and licked my eyelids, soft and moist, which felt very comfortable, and I felt the pain lessen. I held his hand and pleaded, "Please don't go, I'm scared." I was truly scared; so many people and things could leave at a moment's notice, change without warning, leaving me completely defenseless, wandering alone in an endless desert, without support or reliance. I held his hand and pleaded, "Please don't go, I'm scared." I was truly scared; so many people and things could leave at a moment's notice, change without warning, leaving me completely defenseless, wandering alone in an endless desert, without support or reliance.

He did not speak again, and I thought he had given up. Unexpectedly, he threw a small piece of paper over to me. Afraid that the invigilator would see it, I quickly clutched it in my palm and shot him a glare. With a loud bang, I stood up, ready to submit my paper. At that moment, a voice suddenly came from outside the examination room: "That student, please come out for a moment." I looked in surprise at the invigilator who happened to be patrolling this area, frozen in place. He quickly approached in three steps, snatched the exam paper from my hands, and said sternly: "Hand over what you have in your hands." I was so frightened that my soul seemed to leave my body, allowing him to take the piece of paper I was clutching. He raised his hand and asked: "Who gave this to you?" I glanced at the equally pale-faced Cao, but said nothing. The patrolling teacher asked again: "Who exactly gave it to you?" Everyone was looking at me. The invigilators in the room all knew me; with the evidence in hand, they couldn't even speak up to help. The patrolling teacher asked once more: "Who exactly gave it to you?" Everyone was looking at me. The invigilators in the room all knew me; with the evidence in hand, they couldn't even speak up to help. At that moment, the entire examination room felt like a scene of suffering, as still as dead water.

She has always been mingling outside, surrounded by a lot of rough friends, and everyone is somewhat afraid of her, adopting a mindset of not wanting to stir up trouble. She has grown accustomed to being domineering and probably has never encountered someone as arrogant and dismissive of her as I am. What use is a threat! I am not afraid of your threats, I find them utterly contemptible! She was quite furious, grabbing a nearby clothes hanger and throwing it at me, her face darkened as she said, "Dare you say another word!" I dodged just in time, filled with indignation. What if it hit me? Does she have any brains! I thought of her like a cow, only knowing how to charge forward recklessly, and sarcastically remarked, "All show and no substance, fierce in appearance but weak at heart! Am I afraid of you? Not just one word, I could say ten!" I deliberately brushed past her, my eyes filled with disdain and provocation. I have encountered many people like her.

He moved his body, silently holding me in his arms, so stable and strong, like the sky, like the earth, like everything. The strength flowed through his arms, continuously transmitting to me. I felt that his body at this moment was the most devout support, my entire upper body lying on his chest, crying uncontrollably. I shook his hand and said: "Do you know? After being expelled from school, I will have no face to meet the elders of Jiangdong, I really want to end it all! In my senior year, my father was executed. The last time I visited him in prison, he stroked my head and said: 'Ai Ai, you must study hard and strive to be a good person in the future.' My grades began to improve rapidly from that moment on. After being expelled from school, I will have no face to meet the elders of Jiangdong, I really want to end it all! In my senior year, my father was executed. The last time I visited him in prison, he stroked my head and said: 'Ai Ai, you must study hard and strive to be a good person in the future.' My grades began to improve rapidly from that moment on. My father always proudly told others: 'My daughter Lin Demin has one of the best academic performances.' He took great pride in this. I can hardly believe that I have truly been expelled from school!" My father always proudly told others: 'My daughter Lin Demin has one of the best academic performances.' He took great pride in this. I can hardly believe that I have truly been expelled from school!

He nodded and said, "I won't leave, I will stay here with you." He tightly grasped my hand, his palm warm and damp. I felt at ease, and before closing my eyes, I asked, "Could you pour me another glass of wine?" He raised the cup to my lips, and I slowly drank it all, leaving not a drop. My eyelids, burdened, gradually fell as my consciousness sank into a void of time and space. Inevitably, the pain of regret and shame surged forth, boundless and overwhelming, bringing astonishment, anger, pain, regret, despair, surrender, and even—degradation. I felt at ease, and before closing my eyes, I asked, "Could you pour me another glass of wine?" He raised the cup to my lips, and I slowly drank it all, leaving not a drop. My eyelids, burdened, gradually fell as my consciousness sank into a void of time and space. Inevitably, the pain of regret and shame surged forth, boundless and overwhelming, bringing astonishment, anger, pain, regret, despair, surrender, and even—degradation. I woke up in a cold sweat, my body convulsing, pressed into a long-held position that restricted my blood flow, leaving me numb and without sensation.

The next day at work, Li Xin immediately started picking on me. I coldly said, "Li Xin, you better not provoke me today; I am in a very bad mood." She crossed her arms and looked down at me, saying, "Oh! Our Miss Mu is in a bad mood, I am so scared!" Then her expression changed, and with a sinister look, she said, "I warn you, since you are the warehouse manager, just do your job as a warehouse manager, and stay out of the matters of the sales floor from now on." I slowly raised my head and replied, "Is that how you speak? Who do you think you are! Only the officials are allowed to set fire, while the common people are not allowed to light lamps?" With a sinister look, she said, "I warn you, since you are the warehouse manager, just do your job as a warehouse manager, and stay out of the matters of the sales floor from now on." I slowly raised my head and replied, "Is that how you speak? Who do you think you are! Only the officials are allowed to set fire, while the common people are not allowed to light lamps? The store manager hasn't said anything, yet you are overstepping your bounds, meddling in affairs that don't concern you." Of course, she wasn't just meddling. Just two orders of commission were enough to make people envious and jealous. If this continued, she wouldn't need to live anymore. Sure enough, someone came knocking at the door.

He lifted me up and sat me on the sofa, constantly whispering in my ear: "Lin Ai, Lin Ai, Lin Ai..." Was he trying to call my soul away? I took the champagne he handed me and drank it in one go. The cold, amber-hued liquid slid down my throat like silk, suppressing the surging pain, and I felt a little more comfortable. My chest still heaved violently, unable to calm down. I grasped his sleeve and said: "I have always regretted why I sold that diamond ring. That was the only heirloom left by my parents! In fact, my university life was not difficult at all. I received so many scholarships, as well as sponsorship from companies, and after my second year, I also had grants from professors. Even without saving, the tuition and living expenses were sufficient. I feel like I have brought shame to the Lin family; I would have no face to see my parents even if I were dead!"

He reached out and placed his hand on my left chest, as if to support me, and I felt my spasming heart gradually calm down. I wiped my tear-streaked face and said, "My mother knows that her time is limited. When she learned that I was accepted into a prestigious university, she smiled for the first time in a long while. Then she took off the diamond ring from her hand and gave it to me, asking me to sell it to pay for my tuition. She sold all her jewelry and fur coats that could be sold, leaving only the diamond ring my father had given her. I knew what that meant. I said, 'Mom, it's okay, I can apply for a student loan.' She replied, 'How can my Ai Ai let others look down on her! It's just a ring, you can't take anything with you when you die.' She saw things as clearly as my father did. That diamond ring was truly one of a kind in the city, with a diamond the size of a pigeon egg, weighing a full six carats, exquisite and unparalleled, brought back by my father from Antwerp during his trip to Belgium. It's just a ring, you can't take anything with you when you die. She saw things as clearly as my father did. That diamond ring was truly one of a kind in the city, with a diamond the size of a pigeon egg, weighing a full six carats, exquisite and unparalleled, brought back by my father from Antwerp during his trip to Belgium. I took it to the largest jewelry store in the city to sell it, but I didn't even get one-tenth of its value. I felt I should be shot; why wasn't it me who died! How could I be expelled from school!" I cried until my voice was hoarse, collapsing on the ground. I felt I should be shot; why wasn't it me who died! How could I be expelled from school!" I cried until my voice was hoarse, collapsing on the ground

I do not wish to argue with anyone, so I lowered my stance and said: "I do not know where I have offended you, so I apologize. If you truly want to let me go, then please allow me to leave." He replied: "We did not say you cannot leave, we just want you to take some gifts with you as a lesson for the future, to understand who you can offend and who you cannot, consider it a lesson for you, and be more careful in your actions in the future." I was speechless, tsk! According to his reasoning, I should be grateful to him!

He said on the phone: "Lin Ai, you are truly ungrateful, burning the bridge after crossing it. Do you think I would eat you if we met?" I replied: "What are you talking about? I have been working all day and am exhausted. I don't have time to spare; I need to hurry back to rest." He ignored me and said: "I am waiting for you in the underground parking lot, hurry over." Then he abruptly hung up. I could have chosen to ignore it, but then I thought that not going might make it seem like I was afraid of him, leaving a bad impression. He might actually have something important to discuss with me, and if I misjudged the situation, it would be truly embarrassing.

At that moment, Cao Cao also joined in the commotion. He stood up and said, 'The note was given to her by me; she looked down on it and was about to submit her paper. I can prove that she did not cheat.' The supervising teacher glanced at the two of us and then took us both away. This incident caused quite a stir from the very beginning and was quickly escalated to the school leadership. Both of us became prominent figures in the chemistry department and even throughout the entire school, so at that time, it was a hot topic, and almost no one was unaware of it. There were many rumors, which were extremely uncomfortable to hear. I kept insisting that I did not cheat, and looking back, my attitude at that time was also quite poor. Who would believe such a thing! The teacher did not believe that I genuinely intended to submit my paper. Later, even the principal became aware of the incident, as Cao Cao's father was a well-known professor. Who would believe such a thing! The teacher did not believe that I genuinely intended to submit my paper. Later, even the principal became aware of the incident, as Cao Cao's father was a well-known professor. Then we were isolated, waiting for the school's decision.

I steadied myself from the panic, cautiously staring at them, stepping back and forth, with my hands resting on the bag on my shoulder, in a defensive posture. Those individuals appeared to be nothing more than thugs, acting all tough. They were not holding any weapons, which eased my mind slightly. They exchanged glances, and one of them stepped forward: "Hey there! I didn't realize you were so tough! The guys will let you off this time, but you'll get a little lesson!" I looked at them coldly. How dare they say such things, three big men bullying a weak woman like me! They exchanged glances again, and one of them stepped forward: "Hey there! I didn't realize you were so tough! The guys will let you off this time, but you'll get a little lesson!" I looked at them coldly. How dare they say such things, three big men bullying a weak woman like me!

When I return, those who have not seen her are probably on leave. In her disheveled state, with her stubborn nature, how could she allow anyone to see her? I pretended that nothing had happened and continued to manage my goods as usual. Before leaving work in the evening, Song Lingwei called me, saying he had something to discuss. I tilted my head and said, "What else could we possibly have to talk about?!" Everything that happened yesterday was an accident; I was so heartbroken, and he was just there beside me, which didn't mean much. I refuse to be overly sentimental, to seek my own suffering, to invite my own misery. The thoughts I have at midnight and those I have during the day are entirely different. I tilted my head and said, "What else could we possibly have to talk about?!" Everything that happened yesterday was an accident; I was so heartbroken, and he was just there beside me, which didn't mean much. I refuse to be overly sentimental, to seek my own suffering, to invite my own misery. The thoughts I have at midnight and those I have during the day are entirely different. Reality is stronger than people; I do not wish to entangle myself with him any further. He is also a mystery to me.

Since then, I have not seen Cao Cao again. Later, I learned from others that Cao Cao was beaten half to death by his father and was subsequently sent to study in Germany. He has his parents as a support, while I have nothing; I could only be expelled from school and end up with nothing. As I spoke, tears flowed uncontrollably again. I found it utterly absurd, wiped my tears haphazardly, and said, "After that, I didn't even go to that city, fearing to run into former classmates, feeling both shame and hatred." He asked, "So you changed your name again?" I shook my head and said, "I suppose so. After that incident, whenever I hear someone call out 'Xu Ai', I feel a reflexive sense of shame.

He never asked me why I was expelled from school. Suddenly, he leaned down and kissed away the tears on my face, murmuring, "Lin Ai, don't cry—" I looked up at him; he was so handsome and composed, full of vigor and success, which made me feel increasingly inferior and ashamed, dim and lifeless. I let his tongue move restlessly on my face, and through my sobs, I said, "After my father was executed, my mother fell ill. Day by day, she became more haggard, so thin that her face had only two hollow pits left; I still find it terrifying to think about it now, she was such a noble person. My father had made arrangements before the incident; even a cunning rabbit has three burrows. Although the Lin family has fallen, we should not have to live in hardship. But ever since my mother fell ill, that was when we truly began to decline. Money was poured in like it was a bottomless pit, yet in the end, my mother still left us!" I felt a heart-wrenching pain, as if all the tears of my life had been shed at that moment. At that time, I always felt numb, as if the pain did not belong to me, like living in a dream; now, looking back, I find the pain unbearable, as if my insides were being torn apart, my heart cut like a knife.

I took a sip of wine and self-deprecatingly said: "That was back in my junior year, second semester. We had an exam in physical chemistry, and the blackboard was heavily marked with chalk: 'Cheating is strictly prohibited. If verified, immediate expulsion from the school will follow, and no trial reading is allowed.' In reality, it wasn't that serious; it was just bureaucratic jargon. Even in a top-tier university, there are plenty of cheaters; otherwise, everyone would be out of a job. Once verified, there is a lot of nuance in that statement, but it must be verified first. Even if caught, if it is not reported to the school, it doesn't matter; at most, you would receive a minor infraction warning or something similar. That exam paper was somewhat extreme, as it even included extra questions that carried significant weight. I had returned home before the exam, and at that time, my brother had some issues, so I didn't study properly, which is why I couldn't figure it out no matter how hard I tried."

She grabbed my hand and pushed me aside recklessly. Caught off guard, I did not expect her to act violently, and I stumbled, crashing into a shelf, feeling as if my back might break, tears welling up from the impact. Gritting my teeth to endure the pain, I immediately stood up and without a word, struck her face with force, leaving a distinct red handprint. I cursed angrily, "Crazy! Absolutely insane!" She was initially taken aback, but then her anger flared, and she lunged at me with claws bared. I sidestepped, blocked her arm, and forcefully threw her to the ground, letting out a huff, and coldly said, "Are you my opponent? Do you think I am a soft persimmon that you can squeeze at will? Go look in the mirror!" She crashed into a chair in a disheveled manner before finally falling to the ground, her gaze as if it could devour me. I no longer looked at her and took my keys to leave. She shouted frantically, "Just wait and see!" I turned back, smiled, and said, "I am waiting!" It is self-inflicted humiliation; most people in this world bully the good and fear the evil, stepping on the low and bowing to the high. I am not a saint either.

I gasped for breath as I opened my heavy eyes from the boundless darkness, my body drenched in sweat, my heart racing violently, as if pressed under a heavy weight, unable to turn over. Turning my head, I saw his deep gaze, within which seemed to be a sky full of stars shimmering endlessly, bright yet not ostentatious, eternally stable. He tightened his grip on my hand and asked, "Can't sleep?" I felt his palm like fire, inch by inch threatening to burn me. I exhaled forcefully, nodded, and then asked, "What time is it? Shouldn't we go back?" He replied, "No rush, just sleep peacefully here." I said, "Aren't you going back? This is a restaurant, not a hotel; won't they close?" He shook his head, saying, "It's fine. You don't need to worry about anything; I've already made arrangements." I turned over and got up to check the time; it was already past midnight. It turned out I had fallen asleep, suffering in deep slumber for so long.

At that time, my classmates all came to comfort me, saying that the school would definitely not take any serious action, at most just give a major demerit. In fact, I wasn't too worried myself. Cao Cao's father is a renowned professor, and his mother is the chairwoman of the Women's Federation; they have power and influence, so the school would surely consider their feelings. Since he couldn't be expelled, I naturally had nothing to worry about. As long as he wasn't expelled, I would accept any punishment. Given my abilities, it wouldn't matter much. However, I never expected that after Cao Cao's father learned of this incident, he became furious, saying that Cao Cao had brought shame upon him, and even supported the school in expelling him. Since he couldn't be expelled, I naturally had nothing to worry about. As long as he wasn't expelled, I would accept any punishment. Given my abilities, it wouldn't matter much. However, I never expected that after Cao Cao's father learned of this incident, he became furious, saying that Cao Cao had brought shame upon him, and even supported the school in expelling him. While I was still in a daze, the school had already made the decision to expel both of us. This was likely also to serve as a warning to others; students like me could also be expelled, so who would dare to cheat in the future! I could hardly believe it, and I kept pleading with the professors in my department, asking them to help plead my case, almost to the point of kneeling and bowing my head. This was likely also to serve as a warning to others; students like me could also be expelled, so who would dare to cheat in the future! I could hardly believe it, and I kept pleading with the professors in my department, asking them to help plead my case, almost to the point of kneeling and bowing my head. However, they only kept comforting me, saying that the punishment had already been decided, and there was nothing they could do. They also said that if I was willing, I could audit classes, and they could arrange a seat for me. What good would that do! I felt there was nothing more humiliating than this; I simply couldn't hold my head up in this school. In despair, I began to hate this school. Then, in a fit of anger, without saying a word, I just left. I felt there was nothing more humiliating than this; I simply couldn't hold my head up in this school. In despair, I began to hate this school. Then, in a fit of anger, without saying a word, I just left.

I felt somewhat uncomfortable leaning in his posture, so I shifted a bit, and he cooperatively changed his position. I continued, "If I can't do it, then I can't do it; I can't do it, so who else can? Therefore, I don't need to cheat at all; it's only others who copy my work, not me copying theirs. I lay bored on the table, staring blankly at the problem, calculating over and over, but the temperature always differed by about ten degrees, and I couldn't arrive at an answer. At that moment, I thought, perhaps someone really has solved it; would that put the national scholarship in jeopardy? I lay bored on the table, staring blankly at the problem, calculating over and over, but the temperature always differed by about ten degrees, and I couldn't arrive at an answer. At that moment, I thought, perhaps someone really has solved it; would that put the national scholarship in jeopardy? Suddenly, the person sitting behind me, Cao, leaned over and said smugly, "Xu Ai, I managed to solve it; do you want the answer? It's easy to understand." I really disliked his smug expression, and disdainfully replied, "It's just one problem! What's the big deal? No!" Hmph, when have I, Xu Ai, ever needed to resort to such methods? It's easy to understand." I really disliked his smug expression, and disdainfully replied, "It's just one problem! What's the big deal? No!" Hmph, when have I, Xu Ai, ever needed to resort to such methods?